Story I want to kill myself because I feel I am not a prince and that Im unspecial and worthless

[depressedlittleboy]

Since I was 14 I struggled with low self esteem, a distorted self image and no thick skin since chloemay16 cyberbullied me on deviantart. I gave her so much of my attention and energy and let her have so much power over me because I was mad that she cyberbullied me and got away with it and she was happy and having so much fun while I was suffering. I accepted what she said about me as true about me and really took it to heart and really internalized it. The whole 'I am a princess' thing when I was a teen was my attempt to rebuild and improve my self esteem, self image and thick skin. I think all I'm meant for is a miserable and stressful life and to die young and thats what I deserve. All I'll ever be in life is working a minimum wage job, that's all I will ever be in life. I'll never be anything big in life. No one is a prince or princess everyone is a worthless piece of crap and deserves to die. I'm not a prince Im a worthless good for nothing piece of crap Im unspecial and worthless and have no reason to live and that's all I am and all I EVER will be. I always dream that I'm a prince and live in a castle and am surrounded by flowers, cute animals and my prince charming or princess but that's not real and will never happen I exist just to have dreams that will never come true. I'm not a prince Im a worthless piece of crap I know it and I will go kill myself because It's so much better to die than live in pain and knowing you'll never be a prince and live like one and to do this world a favor and end your life so the world will be rid of worthless pieces of crap who take up space and harm the world. Imma go drink bleach or take pills to end my life soon. At least in death I'll be free from my suffering.

 

[Holu]

Since I was 14 I struggled with low self esteem, a distorted self image and no thick skin since chloemay16 cyberbullied me on deviantart. I gave her so much of my attention and energy and let her have so much power over me because I was mad that she cyberbullied me and got away with it and she was happy and having so much fun while I was suffering. I accepted what she said about me as true about me and really took it to heart and really internalized it. The whole 'I am a princess' thing when I was a teen was my attempt to rebuild and improve my self esteem, self image and thick skin. I think all I'm meant for is a miserable and stressful life and to die young and thats what I deserve. All I'll ever be in life is working a minimum wage job, that's all I will ever be in life. I'll never be anything big in life. No one is a prince or princess everyone is a worthless piece of crap and deserves to die. I'm not a prince Im a worthless good for nothing piece of crap Im unspecial and worthless and have no reason to live and that's all I am and all I EVER will be. I always dream that I'm a prince and live in a castle and am surrounded by flowers, cute animals and my prince charming or princess but that's not real and will never happen I exist just to have dreams that will never come true. I'm not a prince Im a worthless piece of crap I know it and I will go kill myself because It's so much better to die than live in pain and knowing you'll never be a prince and live like one and to do this world a favor and end your life so the world will be rid of worthless pieces of crap who take up space and harm the world. Imma go drink bleach or take pills to end my life soon. At least in death I'll be free from my suffering.

I'm aboutta go harass this bitch who bullied you. Fr wtf is that shit, and why deviantart of all places.

As for the fascination with the whole Prince/princesses concept, I'm sorry that it has done so much damage and only reinforced your low self esteem. I think a lot of people can feel the same, where as children we are promised a fantastical world, yet as we grow we realize thea heaping pile of shit that it really is. It really does seem like we are all just lost souls trapped in the background, convincing ourselves that we are more than we actually are.

Still, and I must put emphasis on this, please consider something else besides drinking bleach. That's a very very unpleasant and painful way to go, and there are better methods. You have been here for a bit, so I'm assuming you know, but in case you or another isn't aware there is a resource page. If it turns out that you can't find a suitable method which matches your timeframe, ability to perform, or ability to access then by all means do what you feel is necessary for your freedom but I'm heavily recommending you withhold drinking bleach and leave it as a last resort.

Whatever you ultimately do I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry for this world, I'm sorry for society, and I'm really sorry about the bullying. If these are your last days please take care and treat yourself a little kinder. You might not be a prince, but you're still a human. Kindness after so much suffering is the least you deserve. If you need anything feel free to let me or anyone else know.

 

[ChromeCake]

Seems like she's been banned for bullying a lot of people on that platform, and honestly, from the little I could find about her she seems like the last person you should be influenced by. You are not a prince. You can't change that. But who wants to be a prince? Wouldn't you rather be a king? Kings are made, not born. I'm not sure what your age is but I'm guessing still pretty young. You don't have to work a minimum wage job if you don't want to. You can still make something of yourself. Not trying to go all pro life on you, but I think a simple perspective shift could do you a world of good.

 

[depressedlittleboy]

I'm aboutta go harass this bitch who bullied you. Fr wtf is that shit, and why deviantart of all places.

As for the fascination with the whole Prince/princesses concept, I'm sorry that it has done so much damage and only reinforced your low self esteem. I think a lot of people can feel the same, where as children we are promised a fantastical world, yet as we grow we realize thea heaping pile of shit that it really is. It really does seem like we are all just lost souls trapped in the background, convincing ourselves that we are more than we actually are.

Still, and I must put emphasis on this, please consider something else besides drinking bleach. That's a very very unpleasant and painful way to go, and there are better methods. You have been here for a bit, so I'm assuming you know, but in case you or another isn't aware there is a resource page. If it turns out that you can't find a suitable method which matches your timeframe, ability to perform, or ability to access then by all means do what you feel is necessary for your freedom but I'm heavily recommending you withhold drinking bleach and leave it as a last resort.

Whatever you ultimately do I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry for this world, I'm sorry for society, and I'm really sorry about the bullying. If these are your last days please take care and treat yourself a little kinder. You might not be a prince, but you're still a human. Kindness after so much suffering is the least you deserve. If you need anything feel free to let me or anyone else know.

This whole "prince" "I'm a prince" thing helps me rebuild and improve my self esteem and self image and get an even thicker thick skin than I had before and helps me maintain a positive self image for myself and helps me love and accept myself.

Seems like she's been banned for bullying a lot of people on that platform, and honestly, from the little I could find about her she seems like the last person you should be influenced by. You are not a prince. You can't change that. But who wants to be a prince? Wouldn't you rather be a king? Kings are made, not born. I'm not sure what your age is but I'm guessing still pretty young. You don't have to work a minimum wage job if you don't want to. You can still make something of yourself. Not trying to go all pro life on you, but I think a simple perspective shift could do you a world of good.

Thank you I find your comment helpful I appreciate it. Im 22 btw. Here's an archive about chloemay16 who cyberbullied me on deviantart https://padzee.com/cm16evidence2-0

 

[Holu]

This whole "prince" "I'm a prince" thing helps me rebuild and improve my self esteem and self image and get an even thicker thick skin than I had before and helps me maintain a positive self image for myself and helps me love and accept myself.

Thank you I find your comment helpful I appreciate it. Im 22 btw. Here's an archive about chloemay16 who cyberbullied me on deviantart https://padzee.com/cm16evidence2-0

Ya that bitch absolutely psycho

 

[painful existence]

This whole "prince" "I'm a prince" thing helps me rebuild and improve my self esteem and self image and get an even thicker thick skin than I had before and helps me maintain a positive self image for myself and helps me love and accept myself.

Thank you I find your comment helpful I appreciate it. Im 22 btw. Here's an archive about chloemay16 who cyberbullied me on deviantart https://padzee.com/cm16evidence2-0

I was also bullied a lot in childhood.I later developed major depression (though other factors contributed to it as well).The main problem is caring too much about the opinion of other people.I cared a lot about what others thought of me.
Over past year I have continuously worked on myself to disregard the opinion of others and it has helped me a lot.You wouldn't see any changes in weeks or even months but if you keep trying for say 6-7 months continuously you would notice positive changes in yourself.
(I read about Diogenes the Cynic who was an ancient Greek philosopher and his philosophy helped me a lot.Also stoicism has helped me a lot.I would post a few videos which may be helpful)