I want to get better.

[cattofiend]

I really do. I don't want to die necessarily but I feel like I have no other choice. I've tried reaching out for help. I've gotten an outpatient appointment and they've adjusted my meds. But the meds have done nothing other than reduce my panic attacks, and the day before my appointment they called to cancel because of the doctor being sick.
I made one last reach last night and wrote a letter to my family to explain what's going on in my head because I know I've been hard to live with, especially lately, and it caused them to ring the clinic and manage to get me a sooner appointment, but it's still a week away and that just feels so far.
I'm too tired. Too tired to ask for more help, too tired to ctb. I guess I'll go on existing and see what comes for now but I feel like it'll just take one thing, even something small and I'll be beyond saving.
Sorry for the rant.

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're just existing That's tough. Sorry you have to wait for your appointment, I hope it goes well

 

[SectOfValtiel]

Ive been feeling a lot of the same lately
Ive been in therapy for awhile but havent really had anything help all that much... none of the dozen or so meds worked longer than a week and most made it worse, I havent exactly learned anything in therapy that has stopped or even slowed any of my symptoms
Our appointments are every other week and just waiting that long to keep trying has been really challenging
I feel like my mental health has been snowballing for years and an appointment or two a month just isnt fast enough to catch up

At the same time, none of it is helping so
Its not like more appointments would suddenly fix it

Its difficult when you know you want the help but there always seems to be some kind of roadblock- even just time...
I know for me personally Ive always had a lot of faith in therapy and asking for help, but now that Im at a point in my life where Ive tried a lot of both, it really just isnt the fix-all that society portrays it as
Id give anything for some other way out of this, but yeah
It doesnt look like one exists

I still wish you luck
You deserve to feel happy and not like a burden on your loved ones, you deserve a path to healing
I hope you make it there to at least try again and maybe youll even have more success then I have
Im keeping me fingers crossed for that

 

[Pluto]

Would you like to talk about the events leading up to your being in this situation? Have you experienced abuse? (No obligation to answer of course, but venting can help a bit!)

 

[cattofiend]

Would you like to talk about the events leading up to your being in this situation? Have you experienced abuse? (No obligation to answer of course, but venting can help a bit!)

I think it might help, if there was an event or something in my life that caused me to feel this way but honestly there hasn't been. I've had a "good" life I suppose, which makes it all the more frustrating to feel this way because I can't rationalise it. I know logically it probably is just some chemical imbalance in my brain.. but it's just annoying that my own body can do this to me yet I can't make it just be normal again.

 

[draw a circle]

Man same except i didn't even ask for help only some counseling here and there and it doesn't help. Feeling like I'm constantly one step away from doing it. I want to do things in life but also very tired thinking about the future. I hope it will get better

 

[Nirrend]

Man same except i didn't even ask for help only some counseling here and there and it doesn't help. Feeling like I'm constantly one step away from doing it. I want to do things in life but also very tired thinking about the future. I hope it will get better

Hi sweet @draw a circle

I'm sorry to see you suffering like this.. ❤

Why don't you ask for help? What are you risking after all?

I understand that you may be reluctant to ask for help, I don't know, maybe you're ashamed to be seen in this state, maybe you're afraid that it won't work or maybe you have trouble trusting people. I also imagine that your pain is too high and that sometimes you don't have the strengh to ask for help, I suppose that sometimes, this feeling of "Hopeless future" make you think like "What's the point of talking about it, things probably won't change"

In your place I would probably say the same thing

You already feel terrible, things can only get better and at worst they stagnate! I swear, your pain is totaly legitimate, but it's way too sad to see you say such things without the possibility help you directly ❤

I know it's not easy but I assure you, you have nothing to lose and no shame in asking for help ❤

Next times, release everything on your heart here, we won't judge you ❤

You have the courage to testify in this message your despair it's already a big step! Ask for help, I assure you, you will only get better and above all, come back to us to tell us how things are going ❤

Daring to ask for help is not something simple and it is understandable

I wish you the best and we believe in you ❤

Even if I can't promise you that things will get better, I sincerely believe in it ❤

Love ❤