I finally got all of the things needed to test the SN I recently got. I want to feel reassured by the fact I have these things, really enjoy the fact that I have this as an out, but I don't. Considering my SN is untested, I'd have to make the time for that. But if I'm going to test it, I'd want to be ready to commit the act should things check out. I don't want to wait and risk the SN degrading over time. For me this means committing to:
1) Fasting for 8+ hours (and following my regimen)
2) Testing my SN (and sharing my results like I said I would)
3) If all checks out, take the SN
All the while doing this under the noses of relatives I live with. I wish I could test the SN and take it on a later date date, but I wouldn't trust the SN to remain stable for however long I decide to wait (maybe I'm too paranoid). It's quite a bit of pressure, considering how much I'd have to do in rapid succession, plus the uncertainty around the SN I have (again could be paranoia). And maybe that pressure is what's making me feel so damn unable to relax or feel empowered or be comforted by the fact I have everything I need.
Does this make any sense to anyone else? Does anyone relate?
1) Fasting for 8+ hours (and following my regimen)
2) Testing my SN (and sharing my results like I said I would)
3) If all checks out, take the SN
All the while doing this under the noses of relatives I live with. I wish I could test the SN and take it on a later date date, but I wouldn't trust the SN to remain stable for however long I decide to wait (maybe I'm too paranoid). It's quite a bit of pressure, considering how much I'd have to do in rapid succession, plus the uncertainty around the SN I have (again could be paranoia). And maybe that pressure is what's making me feel so damn unable to relax or feel empowered or be comforted by the fact I have everything I need.
Does this make any sense to anyone else? Does anyone relate?
