
Tintypographer
I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
- Apr 29, 2020
- 470
I think about dying all the time. It's part of my day to day existence. I'm a complete nihilist and believe nothing matters.
Lately I've thought about what I want the world to know of me after I die. I really want to disappear. Literally and physically disappear. Find the deepest part of the ocean I can find, chain myself to something heavy, pass away quickly and never be found. But leave no note. Simply disappear. No reason, no planning, no explanation and no future or mmemories. I want no funeral, no lamentations, no thoughts about me at all. I would prefer today to not exist. I dont want to be part of existing in memory in the future. I wish I had never existed and I don't even want anyone to look for the body. I thought about maybe leaving some sort of electronic loot box of the explanation of my demise jn case anyone I know gets accused of anything about my disappearance. Maybe not... I wish I could instantly disappear without any memory for anyone of who I was.
I don't actually think this view of life is such a big deal. It's not a hard decision for me. I can prove I won't matter at some point in the future and my life and career are meaningless paper pushing and justifications today. They can force another person to do the work and they won't even have to worry about it; what I do is such crap it doesn't matywr.
Lately I've thought about what I want the world to know of me after I die. I really want to disappear. Literally and physically disappear. Find the deepest part of the ocean I can find, chain myself to something heavy, pass away quickly and never be found. But leave no note. Simply disappear. No reason, no planning, no explanation and no future or mmemories. I want no funeral, no lamentations, no thoughts about me at all. I would prefer today to not exist. I dont want to be part of existing in memory in the future. I wish I had never existed and I don't even want anyone to look for the body. I thought about maybe leaving some sort of electronic loot box of the explanation of my demise jn case anyone I know gets accused of anything about my disappearance. Maybe not... I wish I could instantly disappear without any memory for anyone of who I was.
I don't actually think this view of life is such a big deal. It's not a hard decision for me. I can prove I won't matter at some point in the future and my life and career are meaningless paper pushing and justifications today. They can force another person to do the work and they won't even have to worry about it; what I do is such crap it doesn't matywr.