I WANT TO DIE!

[Sadness20]

Its just nice being able to say it for once. You can never say it in the outside world. If you say it. They'll send you to the psych ward. If you say it again, you'll get to the closed psych ward. If you say it again, you get into the room where you're being watched extra carefully. So here it is. Let me just say it. I want to die. I want to leave this life. End it. There's nothing left of my life. Its in pieces and i dont have the power to pick them up anymore. Worst of all is this shitty hope that makes you feel like it could get better and then its like "Ha! You went for it again you stupid bitch!"

 

[Hope:-)]

Me too. I never feel like it could get better anymore though x

 

[Sadness20]

Me too. I never feel like it could get better anymore though x

Yea, i have an emotional unstable personality disorder combined with depression. So it goes up and then down. But the downs are so deep that i'm drowning and i can't get air anymore. Even in my best phases i would always be happy if i died. I wouldnt be "okay" with it. I would be happy, and thats at my best times. When i feel worse i want to do it actively

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can so relate with this. Now I'm like, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on.............there ain't gonna be no fool me twice shit. I'm so over that.

 

[Sadness20]

I can so relate with this. Now I'm like, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on.............there ain't gonna be no fool me twice shit. I'm so over that.

Sadly i fall for it every single time. When i'm depressed i usually end up in the psych ward. And unless you get better you ain't really getting out of them here. So i first refuse. I refuse to get better and i refuse to getting my hopes up again. But after weeks sitting inside not being able to go out alone etc, i give up and think to myself, "okay lets try again." But now i dont want to "try again" anymore. I want it to stop. Seriously. I've spent way too much time in this world. And i cannot trust the fact that there are people who dont have suicidal thoughts. I mean i know there are. But...like....HOW?!

 

[wanttodie]

me to i want to die

 

[veryhappyhuman]

Worst of all is this shitty hope that makes you feel like it could get better and then its like "Ha! You went for it again you stupid bitch!"

Relate hard to this. I guess there is this little prolifer dude inside us, and just like his real life counterparts, he just keeps mindlessly repeating cute bumper sticker phrases ("life is precious", "there is hope", "it gets better" etc) that don't withstand 2 minutes of logical scrutiny with knowledge of our life. Like, how exactly will it get better after this point, what events will happen that will lead to things getting better?

But the little prolifer dude just merrily keeps chugging along with his "advice" anyway.

 

[Hope:-)]

I so badly want to be dead, but going through some transitory terror of ctb at the moment. It will pass.

 

[Bigpink]

I so want to fucking die

 

[Euthanza]

Yes, I want to die and I hate anyone who doubt or negate my determination, fuck 'em all invalid!

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I Just learned a new word here tonight.
Anhedonia
Seems fitting most of the time for me.
I rarely enjoy much of anything anymore.
I have love for so many things and people, but I rarely enjoy any of it anymore.

If I can't enjoy what I love, what's the point?
There isn't a singular thing/person/instance/etc that has brought me here.
It's a culmination of so much and the acceptance that this is how it will always be.
It's not that my life is horrible, it's not.
I am dealing with several very heavy things, but they aren't the sole reasons. They are just additional.

I understand life has its trials and tribulations. If that's all it were, I wouldn't be doing this.

I just wish I could find the right words to explain.

 

[Sadness20]

I Just learned a new word here tonight.
Anhedonia
Seems fitting most of the time for me.
I rarely enjoy much of anything anymore.
I have love for so many things and people, but I rarely enjoy any of it anymore.

If I can't enjoy what I love, what's the point?
There isn't a singular thing/person/instance/etc that has brought me here.
It's a culmination of so much and the acceptance that this is how it will always be.
It's not that my life is horrible, it's not.
I am dealing with several very heavy things, but they aren't the sole reasons. They are just additional.

I understand life has its trials and tribulations. If that's all it were, I wouldn't be doing this.

I just wish I could find the right words to explain.

Yes me too. Like I haven't had a lot of hardships in life. There isn't a "real" reason to feel like it. But I guess we just have that part in us that not a lot of people outside of SS understand

 

[Why Me?]

Its just nice being able to say it for once. You can never say it in the outside world. If you say it. They'll send you to the psych ward. If you say it again, you'll get to the closed psych ward. If you say it again, you get into the room where you're being watched extra carefully. So here it is. Let me just say it. I want to die. I want to leave this life. End it. There's nothing left of my life. Its in pieces and i dont have the power to pick them up anymore. Worst of all is this shitty hope that makes you feel like it could get better and then its like "Ha! You went for it again you stupid bitch!"

This is how I feel, I'm exhausted...

 

[Sadness20]

This is how I feel, I'm exhausted...

Wanna talk? You can message me if you want. Looking for people to talk who feel the same way

 

[Why Me?]

Wanna talk? You can message me if you want. Looking for people to talk who feel the same way

I DMed you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish that we lived in a world where we could be open about wanting to die and then we could just exit peacefully with our decision accepted and respected. Suicide shouldn't be seen as something wrong that must always be prevented, it's a human right and a personal decision. Wanting suicide is perfectly rational and I think that it's cruel how the society tries to force us to live. I also just want to be gone. All that life is, is just suffering for the sake of it. I see no point to enduring this life when instead I could be peacefully not existing.

 

[foreverfalling]

I wish we could all get together and scream I WANT TO DIEEEE! It would probably bring a tear to my eye.

 

[want2dienow]

Look at me, a prime example of a slug who annoys even the suicidal. or maybe i dont deserve to be suicidal because of fk. idk
I was told its only a matter of time before i would annoy this community as well. but its probably the only place left to tolerate

guess this is the result of that.

 

[rationaltake]

Look at me, a prime example of a slug who annoys even the suicidal. or maybe i dont deserve to be suicidal because of fk. idk
I was told its only a matter of time before i would annoy this community as well. but its probably the only place left to tolerate

guess this is the result of that.

I don't find your posts annoying.

 

[Hope:-)]

Me . Really badly right now. Having a serious,'the one that got away' moment.
Me . Really badly right now. Having a serious,'the one that got away' moment.

 

[want2dienow]

I don't find your posts annoying.

thanks

 

[Hope:-)]

Me too. So badly.

 

[Zzzzz]

Seriously. I'm beginning to feel desperate. I have "started over" from scratch so many times I've lost track. I want good things to happen promptly or I want the strength to actually follow through with my suicide!!

 

[ojinzo]

Its just nice being able to say it for once. You can never say it in the outside world. If you say it. They'll send you to the psych ward. If you say it again, you'll get to the closed psych ward. If you say it again, you get into the room where you're being watched extra carefully. So here it is. Let me just say it. I want to die. I want to leave this life. End it. There's nothing left of my life. Its in pieces and i dont have the power to pick them up anymore. Worst of all is this shitty hope that makes you feel like it could get better and then its like "Ha! You went for it again you stupid bitch!"

Words well spoken. Just how I feel.