Help I want to cut deeper

[GTNHisLOVE]

I've heard people use the term "cat scratches" for light/small cuts. The name fits, but it makes me feel as if my cuts aren't deep enough to be "good" cuts. I also wish I could see more blood. It's a big part of self harming for me. I feel like I should cut deeper and maybe even hit styro. For some reason, "hitting styro" just sounds.. cool to me? It shouldn't, but it does. I've tried to apply more pressure and to cut slower, but my silly head won't let me go through with it.

Is there a method/way for me to trick my brain so I can finally cut deeper?

 

[Ash]

There's nothing good or cool or impressive about cutting deep. Just putting that out there. Do what you need to do in order to cope and manage but it's not a good idea to attach anything to it. We're not better or worse BECAUSE we do or don't SH. It's a symptom, nothing more.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

You don't need to cut deep in order for your self-harm to be valid. Most cutters don't even cut that deep irl, with a lot of them rarely hitting styro. All cutting deeper will do is satisfy you for a bit before you start feeling invalid again and start cutting deeper. There are a lot of stories of cutters who've given themselves disabilities because of this quest to make their self-harm valid. You are causing harm to yourself purpose, thus your self-harm is valid. There is no need to prove yourself, especially when it'll likely lead you down a path of regret. I still regret cutting deep and the scars I have will never go away.

 

[GTNHisLOVE]

There's nothing good or cool or impressive about cutting deep. Just putting that out there. Do what you need to do in order to cope and manage but it's not a good idea to attach anything to it. We're not better or worse BECAUSE we do or don't SH. It's a symptom, nothing more.

I don't want to impress others with how deep I cut. I just feel that it's not enough for me anymore and I think I would feel better if I got to cut deeper..? It's a weird feeling.

 

[Ash]

I don't want to impress others with how deep I cut. I just feel that it's not enough for me anymore and I think I would feel better if I got to cut deeper..? It's a weird feeling.

It's up to you but you're talking about adrenaline and endorphins. The rush from going deeper will be great at first. Then that'll wear off so you'll need to go deeper and deeper. And more frequently. It's addictive and here's the biggest lie your brain is telling you: SH doesn't help. The endorphins etc *do* help and there are other, better ways to get them. And I say this like any addict who sounds like a complete hypocrite: don't fall down this rabbit hole as it's very, very difficult to climb back out and the worse thing is that being stuck in the damn hole makes you want to SH even more. If you can, steer yourself away. If you can't, be informed. You're talking about long term harm for short term gains.

(And re-read your original post from an objective POV if you want to understand the comments you're getting from other long-term SHers)

 

[GTNHisLOVE]

Thanks for informing me more about this. And I agree that I should've worded my post differently or talked about other things. Thanks for all the advice!