I want to CTB but my friends dont want me to, what do i do?

[ccake]

Exactly what the title says I guess, yesterday something devastating happened, something thats literally just life ending and I just feel like I cannot push through anymore and I NEVER thought i'd be this low in my ENTIRE life and I am fully ready to just give up like life is practically just over for me and I'm not even just saying that, and I'm just flat out ready to end everything but my friends are trying to keep me around with some even my boyfriend being upset about it and thinking its selfish, but I dont know I feel like it can go both ways, idrk what to do or say but im genuinely just so ready to let go and give up but my friends just dont want to let go of me, they're trying to like replace my will to live and try to help me but I just don't believe its going to work in the long run. What should I do?

 

[JaegerCA]

you should make your own choices

 

[fallingtopieces]

it's hard to know about the long run. in the now u have friends and people who care about u and want to see u get better through this very painful time. if i were u i would consider accepting this help and see where it takes you. ctb is always there in the future, in the long run.

 

[Themogger]

What do you want to do

 

[ccake]

it's hard to know about the long run. in the now u have friends and people who care about u and want to see u get better through this very painful time. if i were u i would consider accepting this help and see where it takes you. ctb is always there in the future, in the long run.

you're right, I guess and thank you so much for replying. they're watching me play a game I used to play when I was younger right now but I just cant get ctb off my mind like i feel like id be so much better off just going through with it rather than this im just really stuck in between

What do you want to do

i have no idea, i want to enjoy life but its just impossible because of the way I feel and i KNOW that will never change, so I just want to end it but I don't know if I want to do that either im just so stuck in between and I'm honestly kind of afraid

 

[avoid]

I agree that you should make your own choices. But that doesn't mean you should ignore the advice of friends and family. Listen and consider their perspectives as you weigh the arguments and make your own decision on what you want.

something thats literally just life ending and I just feel like I cannot push through anymore [ . . . ] like life is practically just over for me

As a side note, the underscored text gives me the impression that you can overcome the recent devastating event. Feeling like you cannot push through doesn't mean you can't push through. I don't know the details of what happened so perhaps I got the wrong end of the stick.

 

[vinlander]

If social help, be those undirectly made by friends and family is all you need to consider not taking the action of CTB; perhaps you should consider enduring this hard time, as there are much people that cares about you, such as your friends and anyone in this forum.

 

[ccake]

I agree that you should make your own choices. But that doesn't mean you should ignore the advice of friends and family. Listen and consider their perspectives as you weigh the arguments and make your own decision on what you want.


As a side note, the underscored text gives me the impression that you can overcome the recent devastating event. Feeling like you cannot push through doesn't mean you can't push through. I don't know the details of what happened so perhaps I got the wrong end of the stick.

Well honestly I highly doubt I can, there's a possibility but its a very slight one, and I just have no more will power to keep pushing through and the fact that this has happened more than once just sucks and I am honestly at the lowest I've ever been in my entire life and I just think its time now, but my friends are really making me hesitate
Update: my boyfriend went to sleep, my friend left to go do something without telling me and now I am just all alone, stuck in this dark room with just me and my thoughts, I honestly think I am just going to do it I am so sick of feeling like this like I am so alone and helpless rn

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's an unsolvable problem. You're suffering to the point that the only relief is death - your friends don't want to lose you (we humans don't like losing others by death bc that causes grief and suffering).

Ultimately it's your choice and your own decision nobody else can make for you.

Update: my boyfriend went to sleep, my friend left to go do something without telling me and now I am just all alone, stuck in this dark room with just me and my thoughts, I honestly think I am just going to do it I am so sick of feeling like this like I am so alone and helpless rn

Whatever you decide to do, we're here for you!

 

[Valhala]

If the one I love was next to me, I wouldn't even think about ctb despite all the other reasons. Of course, this is just my opinion, but for true love, i would always be ready to sacrifice my life or my death.

 

[etherealspring]

my friends and my boyfriend want me to stay alive. but im still gonna ctb. ultimately, it's your choice. i tried to live for them but i dont think i can, everyday just feels worse and worse. of course i feel guilty, but it's come to a point where i dont rlly care anymore.

if u choose to live i hope things can get better for u, im sorry about how you've been feeling and what ur going through. it's srsly not fun

 

[ccake]

my friends and my boyfriend want me to stay alive. but im still gonna ctb. ultimately, it's your choice. i tried to live for them but i dont think i can, everyday just feels worse and worse. of course i feel guilty, but it's come to a point where i dont rlly care anymore.

if u choose to live i hope things can get better for u, im sorry about how you've been feeling and what ur going through. it's srsly not fun

thats exactly how it feels for me and ty a lot for the support

 

[i20xosieu]

Exactly what the title says I guess, yesterday something devastating happened, something thats literally just life ending and I just feel like I cannot push through anymore and I NEVER thought i'd be this low in my ENTIRE life and I am fully ready to just give up like life is practically just over for me and I'm not even just saying that, and I'm just flat out ready to end everything but my friends are trying to keep me around with some even my boyfriend being upset about it and thinking its selfish, but I dont know I feel like it can go both ways, idrk what to do or say but im genuinely just so ready to let go and give up but my friends just dont want to let go of me, they're trying to like replace my will to live and try to help me but I just don't believe its going to work in the long run. What should I do?

I was in a similar situation about two years ago, and I know how difficult it can be to navigate through those tough moments. What helped me get through it was simply pushing forward, even when it felt like the hardest thing to do. I focused on trying my best not to consider CTB, and instead, took things one day at a time.

From what you've shared, it sounds like you have a strong support system with your boyfriend and friends. They genuinely care about you and want to see you in the best mental state possible. I'm confident that your boyfriend will stand by you for as long as you need him, offering his support and love.

I encourage you to keep pushing forward, even when it feels overwhelming. Remember, it's okay to take things slowly and focus on the small victories. Your life has so much potential, and while things may feel heavy now, there could be a time in the future when you look back and realize how far you've come. So, try to keep moving forward, even if it's just one step at a time.

You're stronger than you think, and you're not alone in this.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Do what you want. You're the only one who has to live your own life.

 

[Ironweed]

What should I do?

Take your time and decide for yourself.

Also, it sounds like you're writing this post in a state of high emotion, which can lead to some spur of the moment behavior. If I'm wrong, I apologize, but if I'm right I strongly suggest you take some time, calm down and THEN decide if you wish to proceed or not. If suicide is nothing else, it is very much a one way street.

Please note that I'm as pro-choice when it comes to suicide as anyone here, but I do think that like any act, action or behavior, suicide can sometimes be the wrong choice.

As an aside, why do you care what your friends think? Once you punch your ticket I doubt you'll be thinking of them, or of much of anything. Suicide should be your decision and done on your terms.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Take your time and decide for yourself.

Also, it sounds like you're writing this post in a state of high emotion, which can lead to some spur of the moment behavior. If I'm wrong, I apologize, but if I'm right I strongly suggest you take some time, calm down and THEN decide if you wish to proceed or not. If suicide is nothing else, it is very much a one way street.

Please note that I'm as pro-choice when it comes to suicide as anyone here, but I do think that like any act, action or behavior, suicide can sometimes be the wrong choice.

As an aside, why do you care what your friends think? Once you punch your ticket I doubt you'll be thinking of them, or of much of anything. Suicide should be your decision and done on your terms.

Echoing this person, I know we've talked a lot on your other thread, but it's worth giving thought to, bc yes, it IS a one way street.

Your choices are no one's but your own. As individuals on this earth, we don't owe anyone anything.