i want my family to believe me

[amnotreal]

i want my family to believe me about child abuse and they don't. they define abuse differently than me. they gaslight me. by gaslight i mean they ay things flat out never happened. things that happened when they where not around and had no way of seeing what happened or knowing what happened. they believe the abusers and not me. i get so i think the only way they will believe me is if i die. i want to hire someone to explain to them what they are doing but there is no job description no way to find someone to hire. no one with those skills. therapists and friends and people that know them tell me they will never understand. i get so sad and i hurt so much. i am a parent and i dont want my kids to be harmed by my death so i don't want to ctb becaue of them but i hurt so much.

i know ketamine therapy makes these thoughts go away for me for a time and i stopped it for the past 6 months and it is why i am back here. and i am lucky cuz ketamine doesn't work for everyone. therapist says my dad is an ass and will never understand regardless of if i am alive or not. it feels like if i was dead they would understand and i wouldn't hurt anymore. i also have a lot of physical health issues that wouldn't hurt anymore.

 

[Sleeper System]

Do you blame your family for the abuse you endured? ...or do you blame them for not believing you when you tell them about it?

 

[amnotreal]

Do you blame your family for the abuse you endured? ...or do you blame them for not believing you when you tell them about it?

i blame them for some abuse that they directly did and i blame them for saying things never happened because they never saw it happen. i guess i blame them for gaslighting which i view as a form of abuse.