Venting I wanna tell some1 about my ctb

[think.like]

I have an itch to tell someone I know about my plans. I always overshare with ppl and I feel kinda.. excited?? to ctb. In a perfect world they would just share my excitment but we leave in a place where suicide is portraited as something forbbiden. I am 99% sure they would somehow make me go to psychward AGAIN but I just wanna do it so bad maybe I am just attention seeking or shit idk. I just wanted to say it here cuz maybe someone feels like this too??

 

[whywere]

I hear you, as I am somewhat the same way.

I have on occasion told someone about either my mental health issues, my past 2 attempts or my ongoing ctb thoughts and BOY! the looks and responses.

Yep, like you said, right away it almost always transcends to going to the physic ward. NO THANK YOU! Have been there multiple times before and it never did anything for me except to get out.

I am like you, as far as why I do it, have no idea at all. If I was really pressed why, I guess I would say that I wonder how people would react and see how narrow minded most are, which is VERY narrow minded.

I fight it every day and some of mine is because of 24/7 chronic pain.

Hugs and caring thoughts to you my good friend.

Walter

 

[think.like]

I have on occasion told someone about either my mental health issues, my past 2 attempts or my ongoing ctb thoughts and BOY! the looks and responses.

When my ctb failed (bc I was stupid and thought random meds could kill me) I told my therapist about it because I was scared of brain damage or something and I got sent to psychward lol. When I told ppl about these attempt, or being in psychward, or my sh their reaction are always so.. interesting. I recently told someone I go to class with about my sh and he responded (sarcastically or maybe not I'm not sure) "Don't do it anymore we need you" and I just bursted out laughing (I always laugh in situations like this, I think it's like my coping mechanism). It made me so curious to how would he react to other thing which i know is cruel, inhumane and stuff like this and I don't want to make him sad/feel bad/guilty but my curiosity is so badd. But for his good I will not do it, he doesn't deserve this and all of this is just my fucked up thought

 

[emuotori]

I hate how you can't talk about CTB with anyone. Most normies will tell you the same "noo dont do it" copy paste sentences and then tell you to seek professional help.
Then you seek professional help...... and they want to throw ur ass in the psych ward at the first mention of suicidal thoughts.. yeah
The only options you rly have are venting on here or to some AI. Makes you realize how much of a godsent this forum is. If/when I'll ever actually CTB ill make sure to donate some crypto.

 

[think.like]

I hate how you can't talk about CTB with anyone. Most normies will tell you the same "noo dont do it" copy paste sentences and then tell you to seek professional help.
Then you seek professional help...... and they want to throw ur ass in the psych ward at the first mention of suicidal thoughts.. yeah
The only options you rly have are venting on here or to some AI. Makes you realize how much of a godsent this forum is. If/when I'll ever actually CTB ill make sure to donate some crypto.

I am really against venting to AI cuz it is ass lol. When it was still a new technology I thought cosplaying as a medical student and asking if the patient (I described me) could die if they did what I have done. It told me I would most likely die but well I am still here and I got sent to a psychward after telling my therapist (I was stressed about getting brain damage from the meds idk) so this forum really is godsent lol

 

[emuotori]

I am really against venting to AI cuz it is ass lol. When it was still a new technology I thought cosplaying as a medical student and asking if the patient (I described me) could die if they did what I have done. It told me I would most likely die but well I am still here and I got sent to a psychward after telling my therapist (I was stressed about getting brain damage from the meds idk) so this forum really is godsent lol

Yea I meant it more in a sense of like venting to a friend instead of getting CTB instructions, although yea, at least with normal models you're gonna get the "call a crisis hotline" message a few times.
I'm playing around with AI roleplays in SillyTavern but I usually get bored of it after a few days.