Venting I wanna be someone else.

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

I'm a really unattractive person. I get reminded of it a lot. I'm not smart either. I've never been a talking stage or ever been in a relationship ever. I'm not good with keep conversations or talking to others, I don't know what to do anymore. I want to have kids, I want to be in love. I don't think it's possible for me anymore. I think I'm going to just stop trying for a relationship. I do really want to be someone else, I really do. I want to look average. I envy those who look normal. Who can dress in normal clothes and not look weird. I try to find outfits that look normal that others wear. They just look horrible on me. I want to commit to a hobby or something fun, but I can't. I can't do nothing right. In a lazy person who is envious of others. I do know I'm a bad person and an ugly face and body to match. I'm sorry to everyone I have offended or hurt Indirectly or directly. I want to improve

 

[Throwawayacc3]

There are a lot of variables. When you say unattractive are you a woman or man? Are you not happy with your body (can it change?) or your face or both? What percentage would you give yourself body and face? This won't bring you to an answer but it'll narrow things down a bit. Finding someone to build something with today is very very difficult. The financial aspect is crushing everyone so if you can't even do basic things it's very tough to have a relationship.

Don't get me started on children. I've accepted it's not going to happen as it takes years to get to know someone and even then they can just leave. Plus you need to think about your genetics - passing on trauma to your children (epigenetics) and having to navigate the majority of shit people in the world who will corrupt and abuse your child. You need a lot of money, be somewhere far from cities, home school, etc.

Get some paper - get a pen - doodle. It kind of works for me (I do full art pieces now) but it's my cope. Not much else can be done. They aren't hobbies - they are copes for the depression, world, etc.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Reading many of the things I feel written by another person is devastating. I know how many of those things feel, and it sucks.

I hope that you find happiness, love, and a way to improve.

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

I'll try and doodle, it maybe will be nice. Thanks

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I'll try and doodle, it maybe will be nice. Thanks

See how you are after it. Draw shapes, circles, squares, different colours. Do lines, do wavy waves, sharp edges, lots of boxes.

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

Ok.

 

[Final_Choice]

I relate to a lot of what you said, it's horrible. I've accepted a lot of things already so the fact I may not be able to do or achieve a lot of the things I want doesn't hurt me as much as before, but it still sucks. I recommend checking out the recovery section, might help a bit if you wish to improve yourself, at least worth checking out.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I relate a lot to what you said. It hurts the most knowing the things I want to change about myself are the ones that are physically impossible to change. I hate that this was the way I was born.