Venting i wanna be reborn as pretty

[tearstainedsoul]

today there were a bunch of female college students sitting near me in the train. i guess they were around my age or younger, i can't really say. when i looked at them i noticed how they all looked so pretty. hair was made, make up was done. they had this effortless beauty going on, if that explains anything. and i couldn't help but feel extremely jealous.

what the fuck went wrong with my face? why do i look the way i do?

make up did nothing to me because my face is simply too ugly to be fixed by powder and lipstick. i'm also too broke for plastic surgery. i lack the motivation to do my hair properly and i don't have the confidence to wear the clothes i like.

i tried changing my appearance. for example, one time i bought some clothes on the internet. i actually spent a good amount. but when i put the clothes on, i immediately felt disgusted. everything i tried on didn't look good because my body made it ugly. i don't wanna sound dramatic but my appearance makes me want to cbt. it's not the main reason but definitely a big one.

if i was pretty, many things wouldn't have happened to me. i would not have been bullied for my looks, i wouldn't have been discriminated because of my face. i just want to fit into society's beauty standard. that way most of my problems could be saved.

being conventionally attractive grants you so much privilege. in highschool i was bullied by a group of girls.

they were pretty, so no one said something. no one helped me. i was all alone.

i don't wanna die but i don't wanna keep living like this either. i really, really hate myself.

i don't wanna live the way i am. i don't wanna be myself anymore.

i do wanna live but not in my own body. it's complicated.

 

[Watlock]

This resonates with me a lot because I'm very ugly. I was already very ugly before my hair started thinning and my body changed in a bad way when my hormones got all out of whack. I don't want to feel like I'm invalidating your feelings, but you can be your own worst critic.
If Ctb isn't at your doorstep and you would like to retain some of your life, you should try going to the gym or toning your body if you're already thin. Though my hair is totally fucked and my face is horribly disfigured, I started a weight loss journey and it returned some confidence to me. Of course it's not going to fix everything. But it could be a good start if you're not wanting to explore a ctb avenue.

 

[Bobert_Beniro]

I understand perfectly what you're talking about, I'm just as ugly as you. This is one of the biggest reasons for my ctb and it's something I can never change. I feel embarrassed in front of beautiful people, some kind of subconscious animal brain bullshit. It's hard to realize that you are in this ugly shell and understand that you have not passed natural selection.

 

[Rocinante]

Same. My opinion on my appearance fluctuates too much. Can never tell if I look good or not. It's the primary cause for me wanting to CTB. I can't tell if I become hyper fixated on myself and try to find flaws or if some of my features are actually bad. Surgery exists and I'd like to fix one of the things that make me insecure(my nose) but I know I'd move on to something else that I think looks bad after.

 

[huskisthatyou]

i feel that, i can't go anywhere anymore without wanting to ctb when i see people my age

 

[ncmxm]

You absolutely don't sound dramatic

Pretty privilege is a thing and I fucking hate how so many people will deny it

I feel the same way and I don't know what to say, just that I really understand how you feel

 

[PrettyKitty]

Some people will find you pretty and some will find you ugly.
I don't meet all society's standards but I'm blonde hair and blue eyes and some say I have a nice body ( I think I'm ugly and fat)
I don't know If I have pretty privilege or not but my life still sucks and no matter how much my hairs done , the diets or the makeup. I'm never enough and I'm never pretty enough. I understand how you feel and I don't have to see you to know your not ugly or least not to everybody there's always somebody who will see you as pretty please don't be so hard on yourself.
its one of the reasons pushing me to ctb too :(!

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

same here lol
no social life whatsoever cause im ugly and retarded so
im destined to ctb

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I was ugly most of my school years. I had a huge head and big ears. It can definitely dent your confidence permanently. I used to feel that people were staring at me all the time and still get that feeling, to a certain extent. There's things I'm still self conscious about.

I always remember a specific incident when I was around 8. We were on a school trip and they made you pair up with another student and you'd hold hands during the trip. Everybody else went off into pairs and it was just me and other girl left. She refused to hold my hand because she found me disgusting and she was the fattest kid in the class! You can imagine the ridicule.

 

[leftdreaming]

if rebirth exists I hope I am reborn a cat. Fuck these human emotions, everyone's gonna think I'm cute even if I'm the worlds worst cat.

 

[Vizzy]

I wanna be born as Michael Jordan lol, that man got everything in life!

 

[empty sighs]

I get it. I'm ugly too. But I also don't think we should overlook the disadvantages of being an attractive woman today. I mean for one thing, I think women who are very attractive are often objectified by men. Although a lot of doors are open to highly attractive people, like famous people they don't know who to trust; they don't know who loves them for who they are.

Not to mention many women are naturally born beautiful, and they can't control that, yet people will assume they are bitchy, vapid etc.. etc.. because of the patriarchy. Oftentimes it's hard for attractive people to find friends because of jealousy even between female friends (and of course it's even harder to find platonic male friends).

Moreover I can imagine how unsafe it could be as an attractive women in terms of physical safety (for example being stalked). And lastly. Imagine loosing that privilege when you became old? Wouldn't it hurt ten time more to loose what you had and suddenly have everyone disregard you? At the same time, at least there's a sense of relief in not having to fear for your physical safety at night.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Same. I am male but wish i was female. Some pretty women on here will tty to downplay the benefits of being pretty because of creeps and whatnot, but the reality is they would not trade their looks for anything.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Are you white by any chance ?
In many asian cultures (especially south asian) white skin is considered a very attractive physical trait . If someone is white and fit , she will at minimum be a 6.5/10 .

 

[FailerQt.]

Yes, I also have been bullied because of my looks a lot which of course made me very insecure in adult life. If reincarnation is real, idc what I look like as long as I can find *him* again and as long as he would be able to fall in love with it.

 

[Papilio_polyxenes]

Had a female friend in college who brought up this subject when a guy in our group jokingly said her life was "easier" as an attractive woman. (This was in the context of a discussion about Tinder/online dating, BTW.)

She then described scary experiences with random stalkers/harassment since like middle school. Said most of her guy friends mistake any friendliness for flirting and eventually confess their love, getting mad or leaving if rejected.

Finally, she did note that a minority of women resented her for receiving constant (undesired) male attention. Faced mild bullying in HS from jealous popular girls she felt ostracized by.

Pretty privilege is definitely a thing, but the experience on the other side isn't 100% positive.

 

[woh6]

I'm sorry you've suffered like this. You don't sound dramatic at all. I wish you luck with whatever you do

 

[tearstainedsoul]

Are you white by any chance ?

In many asian cultures (especially south asian) white skin is considered a very attractive physical trait . If someone is white and fit , she will at minimum be a 6.5/10 .

i am east asian but i don't fit that pale beauty standard (slightly tanned). i'm also underweight because of my ed. there are people who fetishize my race or weight. it doesn't make me feel any better of my looks though

Had a female friend in college who brought up this subject when a guy in our group jokingly said her life was "easier" as an attractive woman. (This was in the context of a discussion about Tinder/online dating, BTW.)

She then described scary experiences with random stalkers/harassment since like middle school. Said most of her guy friends mistake any friendliness for flirting and eventually confess their love, getting mad or leaving if rejected.

Finally, she did note that a minority of women resented her for receiving constant (undesired) male attention. Faced mild bullying in HS from jealous popular girls she felt ostracized by.

Pretty privilege is definitely a thing, but the experience on the other side isn't 100% positive.

it's not 100% positive but it can't be compared either. being ugly doesn't protect you from creeps, trust me i've been through it. as long as you have something men can stick their dicks into, they will still use you. i'm not pretty but still managed to be raped. some men don't pick and choose, they take whatever they can have.

I'm sorry you've suffered like this. You don't sound dramatic at all. I wish you luck with whatever you do

thank you

 

[MeltingBrain]

Are you white by any chance ?

i am east asian but i don't fit that pale beauty standard (slightly tanned). i'm also underweight because of my ed. there are people who fetishize my race or weight. it doesn't make me feel any better of my looks though.

How tanned if you don't mind me asking .
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gYaCntKBiQU/UjNmjDI5s_I/AAAAAAAAAZI/-FOcPX91CC4/s1600/SKIN+TONE.jpg

Are you white by any chance ?

i there are people who fetishize my race or weight. it doesn't make me feel any better of my looks though

In recent years east Asian females are getting seen as more attractive due to rise of anime .

 

[tearstainedsoul]

Same. I am male but wish i was female. Some pretty women on here will tty to downplay the benefits of being pretty because of creeps and whatnot, but the reality is they would not trade their looks for anything.

i wholeheartedly agree

I get it. I'm ugly too. But I also don't think we should overlook the disadvantages of being an attractive woman today. I mean for one thing, I think women who are very attractive are often objectified by men. Although a lot of doors are open to highly attractive people, like famous people they don't know who to trust; they don't know who loves them for who they are.

Not to mention many women are naturally born beautiful, and they can't control that, yet people will assume they are bitchy, vapid etc.. etc.. because of the patriarchy. Oftentimes it's hard for attractive people to find friends because of jealousy even between female friends (and of course it's even harder to find platonic male friends).

Moreover I can imagine how unsafe it could be as an attractive women in terms of physical safety (for example being stalked). And lastly. Imagine loosing that privilege when you became old? Wouldn't it hurt ten time more to loose what you had and suddenly have everyone disregard you? At the same time, at least there's a sense of relief in not having to fear for your physical safety at night.

all the problems you just listed can all be applied to women who don't fit the beauty standard as well. being ugly sadly isn't a protective barrier against all the dangers in this world. ugly women can be raped, stalked, sexually abused […] too.

How tanned if you don't mind me asking .
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gYaCntKBiQU/UjNmjDI5s_I/AAAAAAAAAZI/-FOcPX91CC4/s1600/SKIN+TONE.jpg

In recent years east Asian females are getting seen as more attractive due to rise of anime .

light 3.

i don't think that applies to me. can't compare to those anime girlies

 

[MeltingBrain]

light 3.

Light 3 is considered very fair skin for south Asians. If you live in an ethnically diverse place, you could find a south Asian guy (If you are looking for a partner) .

 

[sulli]

i look like a model but here i am just as suicidal as the rest of you but i was ugly as a kid/teen too so i'm not discounting the differences in experience. beauty just doesn't solve all problems i fear

 

[tearstainedsoul]

Light 3 is considered very fair skin for south Asians. If you live in an ethnically diverse place, you could find a south Asian guy (If you are looking for a partner) .

i don't wanna be in a relationship i just want to feel valued and respected

 

[am1485]

I can relate, in college I used to feel jealous of all the better looking guys around. It's so hard to look at myself in pictures, I barely take them. I'm told I'm a little above average, but I honestly can't see it. I just feel so ugly. I can definitely relate to wanting to fit into society's beauty standards. Feeling like you are not meeting those standards really hurts your confidence and just plain hurts.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I get it. I'm ugly too. But I also don't think we should overlook the disadvantages of being an attractive woman today. I mean for one thing, I think women who are very attractive are often objectified by men. Although a lot of doors are open to highly attractive people, like famous people they don't know who to trust; they don't know who loves them for who they are.

Not to mention many women are naturally born beautiful, and they can't control that, yet people will assume they are bitchy, vapid etc.. etc.. because of the patriarchy. Oftentimes it's hard for attractive people to find friends because of jealousy even between female friends (and of course it's even harder to find platonic male friends).

Moreover I can imagine how unsafe it could be as an attractive women in terms of physical safety (for example being stalked). And lastly. Imagine loosing that privilege when you became old? Wouldn't it hurt ten time more to loose what you had and suddenly have everyone disregard you? At the same time, at least there's a sense of relief in not having to fear for your physical safety at night.

This sounds way too much like a cope. Attractive women aren't the only ones who face SA, abuse, stalking etc as another user says. Let's not forget the most important benefit to being attractive. being able to like the and love the way you look.

If all of these issues that you claim happen to attractive women were more important than vanity, then all these attractive women would sabotage their own looks.

 

[empty sighs]

You would say that's the reasonable response to the abuse? That women should make themselves less beautiful so they aren't objectified? Yes, attractive women aren't the only ones who face abuse; in the same way not all attractive women like and love themselves. Some people are naturally born beautiful even without make up or nice clothes, would you have them disfigure their faces? This feels like an example of the jealously that isolates people from one another; it's bad all around, and I can be fairly sure that there are people on this website who are conventially attractive who still want to kill themselves. There are privileges to being pretty, but the main thing, love for oneself, can't be one of them, true self esteem comes from within. As I said, I am not conventially attractive, but I don't think we should ignore the suffering of others in such a way.. I don't long to be pretty in any tangible way because I know that won't foster anymore real love for me in others; it would probably just help with job interviews, and maybe a little more basic human decency, but in the end.. What is that "love"? Fake.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

You would say that's the reasonable response to the abuse? That women should make themselves less beautiful so they aren't objectified? Yes, attractive women aren't the only ones who face abuse; in the same way not all attractive women like and love themselves. Some people are naturally born beautiful even without make up or nice clothes, would you have them disfigure their faces? This feels like an example of the jealously that isolates people from one another; it's bad all around, and I can be fairly sure that there are people on this website who are conventially attractive who still want to kill themselves. There are privileges to being pretty, but the main thing, love for oneself, can't be one of them, true self esteem comes from within. As I said, I am not conventially attractive, but I don't think we should ignore the suffering of others in such a way.. I don't long to be pretty in any tangible way because I know that won't foster anymore real love for me in others; it would probably just help with job interviews, and maybe a little more basic human decency, but in the end.. What is that "love"? Fake.

Well, you invalidated the less conventionally attractive women that have been abused by trying to strawman argument by mentioning how attractive people face that sort of stuff. If you agree that anyone is susceptible to abuse, there'd be no reason to exclusively point out that the drawback of being attractive is stalking, abuse etc.

Conversely, since you seemingly don't like the idea that women should sabotage their looks to avoid the downsides (which you implied was a downside to being attractive), you must acknowledge the importance of being attractive.

 

[empty sighs]

I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to invalidate people who aren't conventionally attractive. Additionally, I didn't mean that you felt women should disfigure their faces… I was trying to say that I don't know what some women would do if they wanted to be less beautiful. Being attractive is something I don't think other people should have to change, as you stated; however I believe this, in the same way I believe women shouldn't have to wear make up and try to be more beautiful. People in general shouldn't have to change how they appear for others. I also pointed out along side the fact that while unattractive women face sexual abuse, attractive women don't always love themselves, I did this to compare and contrast the realities. While less conventionally attractive women can experience SA, I'd say it's probably less often, because less men are interested. In the same way attractive women probably experience suicidal ideation and lack of self worth, however probably to a lesser degree due to not being bullied as much. (In both cases just a general rule, attractive women can be bullied, non-attractive women can be taken advantage of by ill-meaning people). It's not that one is worst the the other, I was just trying to say that all people have problems, just different problems. The grass usually just looks greener on the other side. You also said being able to like and love the way you look was the most important factor, and that's why I talked a lot about self esteem. It was not my intention to redirect the conversation. I'm sorry if you felt like this was a personal attack. I know personal issues can sometimes be emotional. That was not my intent. At all. I apologize that my message wasn't more explicit, I'm not very good at writing clearly.