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utsutsutsu

utsutsutsu

Member
Dec 17, 2023
5
I have always fantasised about getting famous and then ctb. Is that selfish haha... it's not even that i want it to be a spectacle or that i want people to be sad that i'm gone. I just want to be remembered forever even after i'm gone haha. Is this weird? Now that i type this out i feel selfish
 
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Leonard_Bangley39

Cant wait to ctb
Nov 6, 2025
77
if you have access to guns and don't mind the order being reversed, you could livestream yourself online and then ctb, like Ronnie Mcnutt.

That's actually why i plan on catching the bus on livestream when i do it, I'm hoping my death can blow up and get memed online. Is that a fucked up thing to think or want?
 
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Sakaki Lalonde

Sakaki Lalonde

Member
Nov 10, 2025
6
Thats how I feel too dawg dw
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
1,227
I get it. I wanted to join the 27 club honestly.
 
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utsutsutsu

utsutsutsu

Member
Dec 17, 2023
5
if you have access to guns and don't mind the order being reversed, you could livestream yourself online and then ctb, like Ronnie Mcnutt.

That's actually why i plan on catching the bus on livestream when i do it, I'm hoping my death can blow up and get memed online. Is that a fucked up thing to think or want?
Hmm i dont know how i didnt think of this haha. I see tiktok edits of girls who have killed themselves on stream all the time, even dedicated fanpages to them. I dont think it's a crazy idea because of the way social media sensationalises suicide. I think the thing for me is that i want headlines that i have passed if that makes sense
Thats how I feel too dawg dw
I'm glad because i feel really cringy saying this out loud T-T
I get it. I wanted to join the 27 club honestly.
I kinda got reminded of this thought because i was browsing the wikipedia page of successful suicides. I want to be relevant enough to end up there and memorialized forever!!
 
verybabybunny

verybabybunny

in pain
May 11, 2023
28
The desire to get famous is narcissistic, and harming people and those around them.

I am 28, I wanted to be famous based on my talents from maybe 8-22 years old, I cared more about it than anyone in my life, felt I was special. This is a childish way to live that if your brain does not develop out of, is defined by narcissism.

You should not 'desire to be famous.' You should desire to be good at what you like. If fame comes so be it. But the true success is peace and happiness which is so far off for all of us humans, even the rich and famous ones.

If you have no particular talent yet you desire to be famous this is even worse; the internet is compounding this in our youth, when people in my youth wanted to be famous we wanted to be actors, or baseball players, or astronauts...now anyone just wants to be anything to be famous.

This is an extremely dangerous and harmful mentality I truly hope you see your way out of. No one is special, no one is destined for fame. Life just happens.
 
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ctbcat

ctbcat

Experienced
Jul 14, 2023
235
i think previous reply is assuming his experience is The experience

it's possible you're lonely, want to be understood and want people to get catharsis out of you/be able to project onto you as a refuge. this was a similar thing i felt when wanting to be a niche suicide celebrity - ie, the very girls you'd get weird tumblr fanpages on, reaming old socmed profiles for substanceless quotes or music the dead girl liked. i didn't think i was special or that it was owed to me, i didn't even think i was all that attractive for it to be warranted, but that need just wasn't being fufilled and it still isn't and honestly i don't really care anymore. the surveillance of this current world now horrifies me too much for me to want to play into it for the chance of such a thing. i'm not okay with being forgotten, but i've accepted it at this point knowing the only possible alternative (in my position).
 
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utsutsutsu

utsutsutsu

Member
Dec 17, 2023
5
The desire to get famous is narcissistic, and harming people and those around them.

I am 28, I wanted to be famous based on my talents from maybe 8-22 years old, I cared more about it than anyone in my life, felt I was special. This is a childish way to live that if your brain does not develop out of, is defined by narcissism.

You should not 'desire to be famous.' You should desire to be good at what you like. If fame comes so be it. But the true success is peace and happiness which is so far off for all of us humans, even the rich and famous ones.

If you have no particular talent yet you desire to be famous this is even worse; the internet is compounding this in our youth, when people in my youth wanted to be famous we wanted to be actors, or baseball players, or astronauts...now anyone just wants to be anything to be famous.

This is an extremely dangerous and harmful mentality I truly hope you see your way out of. No one is special, no one is destined for fame. Life just happens.
If this makes me a narcissist then i guess i am one :p
 
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