I walk in the night. I don't control myself anymore. I don't know why.

[thaelyana]

Tonight I'm completely alone. I'm sleeping alone. I went out, I'm walking in the dark. I'm getting lost on purpose. Warm tears are running down my cheeks and the anxiety is overwhelming. I'm so deeply unhappy. It's dark outside. It's dark inside. I'm still here, but I'm already fading.

I have music in my ears. Music is the only thing I have left tonight. If anyone wants to listen.



It's cold, and that cold seeps through my skin and settles inside me… It sounds silly, but I no longer feel in control of who I am. There's a fucking thing slipping away from me… Maybe it's because life itself can't be tamed? It escapes all will, all control ..and me? I get lost with it.

Good luck to all of you. May the night be kinder to you than it is to me.

 

[lost_one]

You are not alone. I love the dark. And I relate to a lot of what you said. (I really like getting lost on purpose as well, walking unknown streets..not knowing where I am going)

I am so sorry for all that you are feeling right now, and all those things that probably happened in your life that got you here. Those heavy feelings, they take their toll on all of us. And most of us are also alone. So, idk if it is any consolation, but in that you are not alone.

I like the way you write, almost like poetry. It's very pretty.

And I usually hate religion, but I do like the serenity prayer: Give me the courage to change the things I can, to accept the things I can't and the wisdom to tell the difference.

A lot in life it out of our control, and just accepting things is really hard. I wish I could help, but all I can really do is say you are being heard, you are not alone in your pain.

And since you shared music, which I also love I will share one as well.

Kill me fast - Three days Grace.



Good luck.

 

[thaelyana]

I like the way you write, almost like poetry. It's very pretty.

Thank you very much my friend, that's very kind. When I write while crying I become sweeter thank you.

Kill me fast - Three days Grace

Love it !

 

[rokonie]

Oh my god i love walking in the dark. I discovered how therapeutic it was for me when I lived on campus and could go out at some wild hour like 4am and wander. I used to go on super long walks around campus and the nearby residences listening to music and getting steps in.. Being on campus (where some places are always lit up) reassured me that I wasn't gonna suddenly get jumped.
I haven't been able to go on night walks ever since I graduated and moved back home, because my neighborhood is a lot less lit and my mom will also hear me trying to sneak out, and it sucks. Those walks were truly just Me Time.

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

Hugs friend. Just know you're not alone.

 

[kittyloverxd]

I'm listening to the music you listed and it's really good! Do you have anymore other recommendations? My recommendations are "Let Her Go- Passenger" "nothing, nowhere - i've been doing well" "comatose - 9tails" i used to walk late at night while listening to music as well and go to the park and go on the swings it was really nice but now getting out of bed seems impossible but when i do get out my bed i'm usually going for a walk at night i like the peace, i like the quiet, i like the dark its peaceful C:

 

[tailsmilesprowler]

You are not alone. I love the dark. And I relate to a lot of what you said. (I really like getting lost on purpose as well, walking unknown streets..not knowing where I am going)

I am so sorry for all that you are feeling right now, and all those things that probably happened in your life that got you here. Those heavy feelings, they take their toll on all of us. And most of us are also alone. So, idk if it is any consolation, but in that you are not alone.

I like the way you write, almost like poetry. It's very pretty.

And I usually hate religion, but I do like the serenity prayer: Give me the courage to change the things I can, to accept the things I can't and the wisdom to tell the difference.

A lot in life it out of our control, and just accepting things is really hard. I wish I could help, but all I can really do is say you are being heard, you are not alone in your pain.

And since you shared music, which I also love I will share one as well.

Kill me fast - Three days Grace.



Good luck.

ahhh i love three days grace!

 

[fishygirl]

i felt the same way, when i was at my worst mentally about a year and a half ago- i also took frequent walks in the middle of the night. i got high, rode my bike, or just went to the gas station for a drink. as a girl, i always felt on edge. but the nights were beautiful, quiet, and so alluring. and at the same time, i secretly hoped that someone would do the job of killing myself for me.

i wish i could still take those night walks, but i have someone who worries about me now. it feels a bit like being in a bird cage...

 

[thaelyana]

as a girl, i always felt on edge

yup !

My recommendations are "Let Her Go- Passenger" "nothing, nowhere - i've been doing well" "comatose - 9tails"

OMG soo good ty !

Do you have anymore other recommendations?

I WILL SEARCH tonight and give some if I have any!! ))


Thank you all, it's true that being at the park at night in the dark on a swing is banger: ESPECIALLY with a beautiful song. I'm just afraid of being assaulted outside lol