Late last year I joined this forum. I found people of like mind that I felt a kinship with, even though we never met or spoke in person. I made plans to CTB in January 2023 but held off due to other things going on. Over time, it seemed like I was dealing with things. I created routines that helped me get though every hour of the day. I went to bed by 8:30. I thought I was on the road to recovery. Things still hurt - my kids have completely cut off my family with no explanation. My daughter had the first grandchild and I had to find out about what was happening through strangers. She told me I was a terrible dad, but wouldn't tell me what I did. I never beat my kids. I went to every function. I gave them whatever they asked for within reason. Every year I planned an elaborate family vacation. Her husband's parents use to lock him in a dark closet when he was younger. He thought it was so normal he shared that without any sense of apprehension. His parents have compete access to my grandson. I can't even get an update. He was in the NICU for several months. I sent money to help out, because I remember what it was like when my kids were in the NICU as infants and the incredible financial strain it caused. Not a thankyou, not a picture of my grandson. Nothing. She cashed her checks and pretends I don't exist. I continued supporting them financially even after the baby was released from NICU. Nothing. Everything I've learned, I've found out from strangers. My ex-wife (as of today) has been completely hateful through the entire process. She wanted a divorce and I did not fight it. She got involved in some sketchy stuff the last couple of years and I ignored. She cheated on my and there's a real likelihood that my two youngest (who are now adults) are not mine. In fact, several years ago someone actually mentioned that my oldest was one of mine, but the two youngest were not. I laughed it off at the time.
My ex-wife worked for the court system in a small town where we were divorced. I was concerned because she worked alongside these judges. The decree came out today. My attorney was completely flabbergasted. The judge ignored all law and legal requirements. Gave her 50% more than she was eligible to receive, and ordered that I pay all of the debt. In my state, debt is community property, but she has zero liability. I added her support to my monthly expenses, and I will come up short over $500 per month. That's before groceries, gas, and other things needed to just live and work. On top of that, the judge copied and pasted his decree from another decree that included information not relevant to the divorce.
I dreaded this day coming. Not just the finality of 29 years of marriage, but I knew the odds were stacked against me. I can appeal, but the appeal will cost more than the divorce cost.
CTB is back on the table. I'm off work for the next two weeks, so I'm going to plan something to finish before then.
My ex-wife worked for the court system in a small town where we were divorced. I was concerned because she worked alongside these judges. The decree came out today. My attorney was completely flabbergasted. The judge ignored all law and legal requirements. Gave her 50% more than she was eligible to receive, and ordered that I pay all of the debt. In my state, debt is community property, but she has zero liability. I added her support to my monthly expenses, and I will come up short over $500 per month. That's before groceries, gas, and other things needed to just live and work. On top of that, the judge copied and pasted his decree from another decree that included information not relevant to the divorce.
I dreaded this day coming. Not just the finality of 29 years of marriage, but I knew the odds were stacked against me. I can appeal, but the appeal will cost more than the divorce cost.
CTB is back on the table. I'm off work for the next two weeks, so I'm going to plan something to finish before then.
