CTB made me think about it because of her my gf has caused me infinite ills and is still continuing to do it she does not care that she brought me to this even knowing that I have other problems, I can not leave her I love her very much but I I'm sick I'm really hitting rock bottom, my life is falling apart and instead of helping me, he puts the knife more into the wound making my life worse. I'm afraid to face her (* anyway she wouldn't listen to me anyway I'm nothing to her she never calls now she took me out of her life she put me aside like a disposable object *)
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Hate to say this man, but that's not the girl you fell in love with. She's only the image of what you have of her in your head which the opposite of what she is now. She doesn't care about you anymore and that she wants you to move on.
so why does she say * I LOVE YOU * or * DON'T LEAVE ME *? maybe she doesn't leave me because she feels sorry for me or because she knows how important it is and doesn't want to make me sick? but many months have passed we cannot see each other live due to covid rules but at least look for me let me feel like your boyfriend not like an ordinary person ... I'm tired of being like this was my happiness was everything to me
She's using you as a punching bag, push and pull mechanism, might be a bit borderline too. They like the feel good mood of being in a relationship, yet they hurt the ones they love without know it. They say they love you and don't want you to leave, not yet anyway until they find another new source (a new man)
everything is normal for her, she asked me to forgive her for all the evil things she did to me but she still continues to do the same as before she hasn't even thought twice about putting me aside
I only have her, but she doesn't understand it no matter how many times I repeat it .. she pretends nothing has happened, for her it's all easy
Uzera
Member
- Apr 11, 2020
- 77
If she didn't block you over this it would of 100 percent been some other bullshit down the line. In a way you did yourself a huge favor. S̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶t̶h̶ ̶d̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶. She wasn't worth dating her actions proved that imo. By doing this you save yourself the heartache. Maybe we would all be better off if we just learned to screen people and be up front it eould help stop the bullshit.
Also have you thought about like what that would like getting into a relationship with someone when you might kill yourself? It could be um... complicated? I do think you could find someone supportive but want to ctb might be a bit off a turn off for a girl looking for a relationship. Usually you wanna start a relatiotship with someone who isnt gonna die. You could probably find some girl who is anti-psychiatry who empathises with not wanting to be hospitalized. Probably will be a bit of a chore finding someone but it will be worth it when you find that person. Either way though if you find a girl to get with and you end up caring about each other she isn't going to want you to die thats just the facts.
btw I know I've only bumped into you a couple times but i'm glad your not dead? I kind of come and go here and it's always sad to see names of the regulars crossed out, even if i'm a bit of a lurker. Glad your still kickin and hope life aint too miserable down there in argentina.
melissa286
Member
- Mar 22, 2021
- 26
That's why having these forums is so important to me.
Non-suicidal people simply can't understand, and even thinking about it is often more than they can handle. Or they feel it's their duty to change our minds. It's like talking about atheism to devoutly religious people.
I simply can't share these thoughts with "normal" people. It doesn't work out well for either of us.when you say ''dating'' does that equals commitment? I respectfully disagree with people that are saying she wasn't worthy and shit...
I did the exact same thing back in 2017. I thought by sharing I was suicidal I was going to feel relieved ''I'm finally free, I ain't lying no more'' but meh... what for? Bc of being suicidal what can I offer in a relationship? what future would we have? None. So now looking back I can see saying I'm suicidal was a huge turn-off for him. He pbly went soft when I said that, I get it now. We were having fun as I'm a fun person and all so maybe he was thinking ''I found the one'' but it was for the better bc I couldn't provide any future for the relationship we might have had.
And if you mean ''just casual dating/sex/fun'' I feel that information is not necessary. I'm trying to put myself in her place. Lets say I'm a nice Argentinian gurl looking for a boi as cute as you. If I want commitment and you saying that you might not stick around would scare the shit out of me. If we just gettin to know each other and the vibe is more of a having fun kind of thing with both parties not looking for commitment, I wouldn't feel that info is necessary.
You seem fun and all so why not having fun and if things get serious then -and just then- you share that aspect about yourself. But if its just a fun-fun thang, just have fun and go with it. That shit is too heavy and she pbly aint sharing her heavy shit with you. You suicidal and what about her? what about her heavy shit, you know. She aint sharing.
Fehler
...
- Oct 12, 2020
- 455
I always thought that in the hypothetical case I found someone to tell her about my "ctb ideas" when I notice that she wants to be serious in the relationship.
I'm sure I'll be disappointed like you, I'm sorry for the bad experience, maybe you have to wait to tell her something that personal.
x_LittleAmy_x
Student
- Mar 18, 2021
- 197
Perhaps she prefers men with their own transportation.
AN IDIOT'S END
Death to the World
- Feb 24, 2021
- 39
I know it's harsh but as suicidal people we really are making life worse for those around us. The responsible thing to do is to not forget that. People date for fulfilling long term relationships and for marriage, and dating a suicidal person is more like babysitting. I know cuz I'm suicidal lmao...
KuriGohan&Kamehameha
想死不能 - 想活不能
- Nov 23, 2020
- 1,858
I hope one day you can have companionship without being judged, cause you are a really amazing and sweet guy Matt. Those normies don't understand all you've been through.
It makes sense, like others have said, that people typically want to chase fun and fulfillment. So, a suicidal person appears as a dark cloud in their mind, a manifestation of the feelings they experience when they aren't engrossed in fun loving fantasies. A reminder that life can be agonising when the party ends.
But that doesn't mean that suicidal people don't deserve love and care. People shouldn't be barred from affection, understanding, and kindness simply because they are not drinking the life is a gift flavor of the koolaid.
While I understand even though I don't agree, I think it's unfair to say that we specifically make life worse for those around us. A lot of people have made our lives worse, right? With no remorse, no justification, no repentance when we are at our most crucial and vulnerable moments in our life. You have to realize that everyone makes everyone miserable whether they are conscious of it or not. Cut yourself some slack.
WornOutLife
マット
- Mar 22, 2020
- 7,183
Thank you very much for your words, Kuri-sama.
Due to normies not understand people like us, I'm honest way too fast about my way of seeing life and this world.
I guess that doesn't help.
Anyway, being in a relationship would be quite complicated nowadays. I'm very emotionally unstable so, I'll just wait but if an opportunity shows up, I'll gladly embrace my destiny lol.
Thanks again and hope you have a great weekend! :)A few years ago I met this guy via a mutual friend. Thought he had a great personality and decent looking. But wasn't in a great place to date so turned him down when he asked me out a few times. Didn't want to involve someone else's feelings if I was in a bad Place. Well he died from hanging. Was completely devastated, I had NO idea he felt suicidal. I can't imagine how I would feel if I dated him the 6 months I knew him and he did that.
It's a tough call opening up to people and showing your vulnerable side.
IWTD
Who knows.
- Jun 24, 2020
- 124
I would imagine most girls looking for a future with someone would end that potential relationship suddenly if that future was already doomed.
WornOutLife
マット
- Mar 22, 2020
- 7,183
Yes, I guess that makes sense.
I would like to find a person who is as depressed or suicidal as me and so that we could simply understand that we just want some love and any of us might leave this world at any time.
I suppose it won't be easy, though. lolLast edited:
ExhaustedExistence
Life is just waiting for death
- Mar 26, 2021
- 693
Is that you in your display pic? If so then it's absolutely her loss!
WornOutLife
マット
- Mar 22, 2020
- 7,183
Haha yeah, that's me.
Thanks for making me feel better!
LONE WOLF.
PUNISHER.
- Nov 4, 2020
- 1,990
@WornOutLife, l'd say that's more her loss than yours! Please don't stress over it as she clearly wasn't worth any effort! Sending you Hugs friend! :-)
DunnoWhyButYeah
~*-*~
- Apr 3, 2020
- 409
First, sorry about my english and I hope someone will understand me x)
That's sad. If I meet guy who say that he is suicidal, that isn't problem to me. Even when I'm doing good I don't never think like that, but that's probably because I know what being suicidal is...
Probably some people think that's too much for them, they can't handle that information and get scared. They don't know what that means and maybe think you are going to do it soon (and don't want to be in that situation) or think suicidal people could be too heavy with all their problems. Dunno. They maybe think that's all what you are and don't see how great you still are.
You can think that's also good thing that they say right away what they think, you probably want to meet someone who is totally ok with you and your thoughts and you don't need to pretend anything.
I'm glad that I have nowadays someone who accepts me as I am, but I had situations like that and it's not fun... You tell that you are suicidal and little mess and someone just disappear.
I think that's kind of same how do men behaved because I am plus size when I was dating... First they thinked I'm beautiful, but when saw all pics they realized that I'm plus size *puff* gone. Only because one thing what is part of me. Or if I'm out with friends in the bar, guys come and tell me that if I weren't plus size they could be interested me (what I even do with that information?).
And no, how you look isn't same thing that being suicidal so that was probably bad example. Sorry.Similar threads
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