Venting I thirst for freedom from a bad body.....

[darksoul999]

As i woke up today i realized that i am pretty much repeating yesterday, nothing changes.

Everyday feels exactly the same. I want to CTB so bad but fuck, i care so much about how others might take it.

Not only do i feel trapped in a bad body, i feel trapped by my own emotions as well.

I have to get some things done before i even CTB, but my body is lagging behind and i feel stuck in quick sand.

If i really wanted too, i could get everything done within a few days. The next step would be get a hotel, write my letter, then forever peace.

The steps are so easy. I want this, i always wanted this so why i am i not following through?

How it usually goes is when things get to bad & I feel trapped in a corner forced to make an attempt, then my mind will do it.

I just don't want to wait till then.

I have a date in mind. I really do NOT want to be here in 2027

I just can't

 

[Passenger4224]

Being trapped in a body is the most torturous, suffocating feeling - I hope you don't have to suffer like this forever

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I hear you. Same, same, and same. 2027? I can't be around for that either, I didn't even want to enter into 2026.

 

[darksoul999]

Being trapped in a body is the most torturous, suffocating feeling - I hope you don't have to suffer like this forever

Same. Every year that has passed since 2020 i have said, no not another year.

Yet, i find myself here for another fucking year lol.

I just need to do it already. I am not scared to die.

I suppose i am trying to feel my way through when the "right time" will be to CTB.

i am finding out, there is no "right time"

There will never be a right time to CTB.

Just have to do it.