IchijouRirika
Burial - Untrue
- Dec 24, 2023
- 32
I don't talk about this with pretty much anyone but, here we go:
throughout my life, I've had a bad case of gyno (gynecomastia) and, while if found early it can be "removed" (apologies for the lack of technical terms lol, ESL moment) without surgery, I only found that out around 2022.
at first I thought that I was just fat and that if I lost weight it would disappear, but, as I've lost some weight, it wasn't going anywhere, so after checking with a doctor it was confirmed that yeah I had gyno.
I was mocked by it relentlessly in school, made fun of it all the time, to the point I even think this is one of the main reasons why I could never had teenage love back then, so after learning I just right away scheduled myself to get a surgery to remove it.
I don't have it no more today (although like, I SADLY have keloid scarring, it doesn't show when I'm wearing a shirt which nice but, yeah, I know it can be "removed" tho I guess) and, honestly nothing changed in my life and like, I don't know why but this always get in the way cause, the post-surgery was REALLY a lot that happened (from having some blood drains, hyperbaric chambers etc) and this is just something that at times keeps me from CTBing since, I just ask myself "did I do all this to just CTB?" you know.
there are many other things I'd love to fix on myself too (the keloid scarring firstly, my teeth, losing some more weight, skin/acne scars) but like, at the same time I just think if it's even worth it considering I might CTB soon, and, well, too late to revert the trauma being an ugly teenager that never had any love gave me.
throughout my life, I've had a bad case of gyno (gynecomastia) and, while if found early it can be "removed" (apologies for the lack of technical terms lol, ESL moment) without surgery, I only found that out around 2022.
at first I thought that I was just fat and that if I lost weight it would disappear, but, as I've lost some weight, it wasn't going anywhere, so after checking with a doctor it was confirmed that yeah I had gyno.
I was mocked by it relentlessly in school, made fun of it all the time, to the point I even think this is one of the main reasons why I could never had teenage love back then, so after learning I just right away scheduled myself to get a surgery to remove it.
I don't have it no more today (although like, I SADLY have keloid scarring, it doesn't show when I'm wearing a shirt which nice but, yeah, I know it can be "removed" tho I guess) and, honestly nothing changed in my life and like, I don't know why but this always get in the way cause, the post-surgery was REALLY a lot that happened (from having some blood drains, hyperbaric chambers etc) and this is just something that at times keeps me from CTBing since, I just ask myself "did I do all this to just CTB?" you know.
there are many other things I'd love to fix on myself too (the keloid scarring firstly, my teeth, losing some more weight, skin/acne scars) but like, at the same time I just think if it's even worth it considering I might CTB soon, and, well, too late to revert the trauma being an ugly teenager that never had any love gave me.
