Venting I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me and it makes me less human

[ImNotReal]

I do not know what I am. There is no way I am a human. I don't experience the emotions most feel. I can't get happy or excited. I feel like I'm putting up a front when I need to talk to a single person. I feel like a fucking robot I think. I just complete whatever tasks need done and tell people what they want to hear until I get alone and shut off. I think today I need a break from talking to anyone I need a refresh day

 

[uchuunekoko]

Being a 'robot' is both soothing and miserable. I like being able to detach myself enough to get things done, but, at some point, the lack of genuine expression—of truly being 'myself'—builds up until I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm just waiting for that 'final straw' to break

 

[LittleNelson]

I can relate to what you are saying. The debilitating depression and constant suicidal thoughts have taken away all my humanity. At this point I'm just existing - there is no joy or laughter or happiness anywhere. I'm just a body going through the motions.

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

I do not know what I am. There is no way I am a human. I don't experience the emotions most feel. I can't get happy or excited. I feel like I'm putting up a front when I need to talk to a single person. I feel like a fucking robot I think. I just complete whatever tasks need done and tell people what they want to hear until I get alone and shut off. I think today I need a break from talking to anyone I need a refresh day

I see a lot of myself in this it's so fucked up!! when I opened up to a psychiatrist about this she suspected anhedonia & autism ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

To me the best i can describe it is just feeling fucked in the head >w<

 

[Scythe]

I'm like this, detached from my emotions and humans in general, but I like it like this, I chose this. I don't feel human either, but I don't want to be human because I have only negative associations with humans. (Eg. Work, senseless hatered, animal cruelty) I don't feel like a robot though, more like a fae, a mimic, pretending to be human so nobody sees that there's something "wrong' with me. And I mean why do you want to be human? Do you like humans and want to fit in? If not, try to embrace your current state, you're different, so what?