timetosaygoodbye
i love dandelions
- Apr 27, 2024
- 10
henlo, i remember posting here trying to find sn in egypt. well, thankfully i found it.
i searched on fb and i found a lot of resources, unlike google and stuff.
i had decided to give life one last chance last sat, i told my psychiatrist that i have everything ready and i'll see where it takes me. if i dont find anything helping, i'll go. he wanted to hospitalize me, told my father and agreed with me to give the sn bottle to my dad, get different meds and see if it helps.
it's been a few days now, he prescribed me zolam 0.25 gm. he said it helps with suicide ideation. what i found is that it just makes me less anxious thinking or planning my suicide and makes me comfortable with the thought of me dying.
i decided i'll do it today. i had to go through my dad's drawers to look for the sn bottle, which made me feel bad because i value privacy. however i found it, and i poured some in a plastic bag and put the bottle back in the drawer so he doesn't notice it missing.
it makes me feel really guilty tbh, i have loving family, friends and a caring psych. theyre doing their best to help, but nothing is working. i hate to hurt them but it's my only way out of this hell.
i have everything with me, the antiemetic, antacid, beta blocker, zolam and painkiller.
i'll follow through the sn bible megathread posted on here.
07:00 p.m. (03:00+ GMT): started dry fasting (food fasting)
01:00 a.m. : should start water fasting
03:00 a.m. : sn drink and benzos. could use gum to help change the taste
what do you all recommend me to do before i ctb?
i searched on fb and i found a lot of resources, unlike google and stuff.
i had decided to give life one last chance last sat, i told my psychiatrist that i have everything ready and i'll see where it takes me. if i dont find anything helping, i'll go. he wanted to hospitalize me, told my father and agreed with me to give the sn bottle to my dad, get different meds and see if it helps.
it's been a few days now, he prescribed me zolam 0.25 gm. he said it helps with suicide ideation. what i found is that it just makes me less anxious thinking or planning my suicide and makes me comfortable with the thought of me dying.
i decided i'll do it today. i had to go through my dad's drawers to look for the sn bottle, which made me feel bad because i value privacy. however i found it, and i poured some in a plastic bag and put the bottle back in the drawer so he doesn't notice it missing.
it makes me feel really guilty tbh, i have loving family, friends and a caring psych. theyre doing their best to help, but nothing is working. i hate to hurt them but it's my only way out of this hell.
i have everything with me, the antiemetic, antacid, beta blocker, zolam and painkiller.
i'll follow through the sn bible megathread posted on here.
07:00 p.m. (03:00+ GMT): started dry fasting (food fasting)
01:00 a.m. : should start water fasting
03:00 a.m. : sn drink and benzos. could use gum to help change the taste
what do you all recommend me to do before i ctb?