Keep in mind, it's entirely up to OP if they want to share what's brought them here. Also it isn't up to us to attach any real weight to events. If OP has trauma, OP has trauma. It's not up to you to determine the validity.
Keep in mind, it's entirely up to OP if they want to share what's brought them here. Also it isn't up to us to attach any real weight to events. If OP has trauma, OP has trauma. It's not up to you to determine the validity.
dec132013
Member
- Aug 6, 2020
- 98
Idk your situation, but it's it possible dying would only hurt you more than them? I can't control your decision, but it's likely not completely impossible to permanently distance yourself from these people another way. Plus it's never really best to make decisions out of anger
Wishing you luck
Wishing you luck
Yeah thanks... People want to talk or people want to vent I'll get me answer when they respond or don't. Didn't really need you to step in here.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
Maybe I need to get with the times, but that feels somewhat perverse. I want to engage another human, not write an essay. Come on people...
Your callous nature invites this
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
Dookieshoes, that you presume to think anybody has to justify themselves to you shows what kind of person you are. When I say person, I'm merely being flattering. All this patronising and bullying you inflect on dying people will one day come to you. Remember this when you find yourself suffering so much that the entire world is made up of pain.
This will happen, and you will remember.
This will happen, and you will remember.
Are you serious? I asked someone to talk to me ONCE, who is under no obligation to do so, and 3 of you bumrush me, and you have the nerve to call me a bully and tell me that I'm subhuman? You literally know nothing about me and you cast that sort of judgment? Sit down.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
Oh yay. The focus is on another member besides the OP and the thread is devolving into a fight and will probably get locked.
I'm not a mod and I have no authority. @Dookieshoes, there's a tendency here to support people making their own choices about whether or not to suicide, and for people to not have to defend their choice. That latter part is addressed in the Rules and FAQ. I didn't bumrush you, btw, I offered a way to get your question answered. It was quite benign and intended to be.
This thread is a particularly challenging one because there's an ethical element involved. Personally, I'd like to see it play out rather than it be locked over an argument, just stating my preference, it's not a command, which I couldn't support if I wanted to. It's not just about the OP here, but others are emotionally involved in what's happening with her. She's posted a lot and because of that folks know her and care about her. From my end, I recognize from her post history that this could easily be a part of her processing, and not something she's necessarily going to do, so I'm not worried for her because of a couple of vent posts. Not negating her in any way, not defining her, just a reflection of consistent behaviors that allow for some confidence in prediction.
Anyhow, if folks want to argue and make it about something other than the OP, then the thread is derailed and won't come to its natural conclusion, because mods sometimes but generally don't step in, they just lock. That's not fair to the OP here.
I'm not a mod and I have no authority. @Dookieshoes, there's a tendency here to support people making their own choices about whether or not to suicide, and for people to not have to defend their choice. That latter part is addressed in the Rules and FAQ. I didn't bumrush you, btw, I offered a way to get your question answered. It was quite benign and intended to be.
This thread is a particularly challenging one because there's an ethical element involved. Personally, I'd like to see it play out rather than it be locked over an argument, just stating my preference, it's not a command, which I couldn't support if I wanted to. It's not just about the OP here, but others are emotionally involved in what's happening with her. She's posted a lot and because of that folks know her and care about her. From my end, I recognize from her post history that this could easily be a part of her processing, and not something she's necessarily going to do, so I'm not worried for her because of a couple of vent posts. Not negating her in any way, not defining her, just a reflection of consistent behaviors that allow for some confidence in prediction.
Anyhow, if folks want to argue and make it about something other than the OP, then the thread is derailed and won't come to its natural conclusion, because mods sometimes but generally don't step in, they just lock. That's not fair to the OP here.
If the notes or the angry stuff bring you peace and you want to do it and you're not physically hurting anyone then go ahead with it. I mean ultimately you're the one CTB, not the other people, the ball is in your court here and it's not up to other people to tell you how to leave (although they may or may not provide unquestioning affirmation and validation for everything you do- regardless, it's up to you). I'm not going to quote Buddha or something because I'm too stupid to do that, but this is an important decision and event for you, and this is one of those times (barring actual physical harm or weird blackmail shit) where it's ok for this to be about what you want. Can't tell you if you're doing the right thing because I am not you right now and really don't know your situation.
I think people have a picture of the idealized s person, and assume that it's not "right" to like be angry, be pissed off or messy or whatever, but that's again what we're "supposed" to do, yeah it's kind of performing an expected script for better or worse, but you're really not obliged to follow it if you don't want to
I think people have a picture of the idealized s person, and assume that it's not "right" to like be angry, be pissed off or messy or whatever, but that's again what we're "supposed" to do, yeah it's kind of performing an expected script for better or worse, but you're really not obliged to follow it if you don't want to
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I'm torn. On one hand I am incomplete agreement, and will be happy to remove my posts to return the focus to OP. On the other I want to tell you to stuff it. I'm not asking anyone to justify anything. I hear someone who is incredibly angry and I am offering an ear. You all are having the problem.... Not OP.
@DeathIsTheWayOut99 if I upset you, I apologize. I also apologize for causing the attention to shift as not my intention.
I know I shouldn't say that.
I wish your emotions wouldn't destroy you so much. Your posts are very sad.
Besides, your death may go unnoticed, ignored. Take it into consideration.
I wish your emotions wouldn't destroy you so much. Your posts are very sad.
Besides, your death may go unnoticed, ignored. Take it into consideration.
DeathIsTheWayOut99
Warlock
- Jun 6, 2020
- 798
Hey all. I figured I would make a bit of an update:
I first want to say thank you for everyone who responded. I didnt get back sooner due to processing everything. Though I am not mentally well, I want to say that I was having a really bad BPD episode when I made this post
I am reluctant to say I am better, but I guess I am not as mad as I was when I posted. I hope I didnt cause any problems and I feel I made everyone worry
As for what I plan to do in regards to CTB, that is still something I am debating. Some days I feel ok, and then some days I feel like dying. It goes back and forth so much that I feel living and dying are two possibilities
Also, I talked to my father. After, admittedly, treating him like shit yesterday I came to find that he'd rather me alive and tell him my issues than to die by suicide. I dont trust him enough to open up but I guess its a start
Going forward, I will most likely make more posts like this. As I can feel "fine" and then have a BPD episode seemingly out of nowhere. And I fear one day it might genuinely lead me down a path where I do die out of desperation and pain.
Anyways, I wanted to apologize again for creating such a commotion
I first want to say thank you for everyone who responded. I didnt get back sooner due to processing everything. Though I am not mentally well, I want to say that I was having a really bad BPD episode when I made this post
I am reluctant to say I am better, but I guess I am not as mad as I was when I posted. I hope I didnt cause any problems and I feel I made everyone worry
As for what I plan to do in regards to CTB, that is still something I am debating. Some days I feel ok, and then some days I feel like dying. It goes back and forth so much that I feel living and dying are two possibilities
Also, I talked to my father. After, admittedly, treating him like shit yesterday I came to find that he'd rather me alive and tell him my issues than to die by suicide. I dont trust him enough to open up but I guess its a start
Going forward, I will most likely make more posts like this. As I can feel "fine" and then have a BPD episode seemingly out of nowhere. And I fear one day it might genuinely lead me down a path where I do die out of desperation and pain.
Anyways, I wanted to apologize again for creating such a commotion
ladolcemorte
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 286
I am so sorry your family is abusive. That sounds really awful to live with that day in and day out and my heart goes out to you.
I don't think there is any such thing as an ethical imperative for suicidal people to make their death easier on others. I think when you reach the point of suicide, social etiquette and niceties go out the window.
However, I would caution you that it is impossible to predict how other people are going to react, and that abusive people very rarely accept any blame. They typically find a way to make everything someone else's fault.
I don't think there is any such thing as an ethical imperative for suicidal people to make their death easier on others. I think when you reach the point of suicide, social etiquette and niceties go out the window.
However, I would caution you that it is impossible to predict how other people are going to react, and that abusive people very rarely accept any blame. They typically find a way to make everything someone else's fault.
I'm not sure that 'getting peace in the end' and 'hurting all those f***rs' are very compatible goals.
Leaving this world on a note of revenge, anger and hatred can never bring peace for anyone.
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almost_dead
Arcanist
- Aug 7, 2020
- 465
blue
Member
- Jul 21, 2019
- 67
I don't think this is a fair question. Most people love their children. But loving them doesn't always equate to treating them with respect and care. I grew up in an abusive home and my parents definitely love me. But they were very selfish and controlling and abusive. They never provided for me basic emotional support or anything physical with the exception of food and shelter. They also tore me down any chance they got. Just because a parent loves you, doesn't mean they are showing or providing you with love.
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