I think its healthy for me to be avoidant/distance myself from others

[Water-Lily]

After talking to a few people regarding my situation, I realize I have a problem

An emotional/mental problem

Every time I talk about something, I exaggerate it

I make it seem worse than it actually is

Hell, the situation might not even be that bad

But of course I make it sound bad became I'm mentally fucked

And when people hold me accountable to my behavior, I get even more upset

Maybe, there isn't any benefit to me speaking to others

"You never should have brought up the past if you couldn't deal with it. You're pitiful you know that"

That's basically me. If I can't handle when people hold me accountable and point out my flaws/issues, what the fuck is the point of me speaking in the first place?

I'm a fucking failure is what I am

 

[Killua200]

You're not a failure. You're somoene who's seeking help.

You're feeling upset and hopeless right now, that's understandable. But don't get caught up in the negative self-talk.

It sounds like you're struggling with how you deal with feelings of accountability. You're also feeling like there's no point in speaking because you can't deal with certain reactions. Is that right?

you arent thinking rationally, and even though its super hard (i know) try and THINK positively, having this thought process will only self sabotage and make everthing worse :(

 

[theboy]

Sometimes I think so too, but then you end up feeling lonely.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I have been a loner by choice for quite some time, because the stress of keeping up the perfect facade is too exhausting. Especially as an AUDHDer. Lonliness sucks at times, but it's a necessity. Just kill me already,

 

[floating_cloud]

Yeah I get it its really hard for me to ever vent these past years cuz of that
I wouldn't call what you do exaggerating even tho I don't know what u exactly say but I definitely would never call it exaggerating ur just saying what you feel to people and that's completely fine
Point of views can always be different from person to person ur point of view is that

 

[Water-Lily]

You're not a failure. You're somoene who's seeking help.

You're feeling upset and hopeless right now, that's understandable. But don't get caught up in the negative self-talk.

It sounds like you're struggling with how you deal with feelings of accountability. You're also feeling like there's no point in speaking because you can't deal with certain reactions. Is that right?

you arent thinking rationally, and even though its super hard (i know) try and THINK positively, having this thought process will only self sabotage and make everthing worse :(

I guess so. I spoke to a friend over the phone who didn't want to stop talking until I felt ok

I got sound advice. But the more advice I get from non emotionally unstable people I feel worse. Cause I'm so different from them and worse off
What's especially sad is the friends who are younger than me (by like 5 years I'm 26) have so much more mental wisdom and strength. They obv didn't come from damaged childhoods and trauma like me so they developed normally. And then there's me who's playing catch up

I'm so fucking ashamed of who I am. So much fucking older and I'm emotionally a fucking child. I hate living with myself
Getting advice from someone so much younger than me is....sad. It's embarrassing and pathetic.

 

[Kalista]

I guess so. I spoke to a friend over the phone who didn't want to stop talking until I felt ok

I got sound advice. But the more advice I get from non emotionally unstable people I feel worse. Cause I'm so different from them and worse off
What's especially sad is the friends who are younger than me (by like 5 years I'm 26) have so much more mental wisdom and strength. They obv didn't come from damaged childhoods and trauma like me so they developed normally. And then there's me who's playing catch up

I'm so fucking ashamed of who I am. So much fucking older and I'm emotionally a fucking child. I hate living with myself
Getting advice from someone so much younger than me is....sad. It's embarrassing and pathetic.

age doesn't determine maturity.

it all comes down with experience in the end. your lives, all of our lives are not similar because we experience things at a different pace. some things never appear in our lives for us to learn about it and so ignorance stays. unable to deal with situations we're dealt with.

just because someone is able to give you 'sound advice' doesn't mean they truly understand your situation due to the fact that they don't experience the exact thoughts and feelings you do. so why do you think you feel so different from them?
you're already aware they didn't come from a damaged childhood. try not to burn yourself too hard about that.

it sucks to see other people be in a better place than you. try to stop playing catch up with people who will never truly understand what you're dealing with.

distance yourself if that's what you prefer. it does feel better that way, doesn't it?

 

[Water-Lily]

age doesn't determine maturity.

it all comes down with experience in the end. your lives, all of our lives are not similar because we experience things at a different pace. some things never appear in our lives for us to learn about it and so ignorance stays. unable to deal with situations we're dealt with.

just because someone is able to give you 'sound advice' doesn't mean they truly understand your situation due to the fact that they don't experience the exact thoughts and feelings you do. so why do you think you feel so different from them?
you're already aware they didn't come from a damaged childhood. try not to burn yourself too hard about that.

it sucks to see other people be in a better place than you. try to stop playing catch up with people who will never truly understand what you're dealing with.

distance yourself if that's what you prefer. it does feel better that way, doesn't it?

In a way it does. I still choose to socially to a degree but am taking precautions to distance myself from certain people