I think I'm destined to suffer.

[YarXn]

I did my best to survive, but I've just realized that I actually can't.

A year ago I was released from the psychiatric hospital and I felt great. Ever since my life was great, but I wasn't making any money. I was living off savings which I made while working myself to death - which was my last suicide attempt which put me in the hospital.

These savings are now gone, and I just got a job so I don't fall into debt.

Unfortunately, this job is killing me. I don't know why. Intellectually, logically, it should be fine; they're very understanding of my situation.

But I get there and I suffer. I suffer just thinking about having to go there. I think about hurting myself constantly.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be able to find a job that will treat me better than this one does.

So, what? I can be unemployed and slowly lose all my rights and my possessions until I kill myself because of that slow agonizing suffering...

Or I work myself to death, again? Which is just more compacted suffering.

Either way I kill myself.

What the fuck?

 

[Pale_Rider]

Doesn't matter what you do in life. There is pain. Might as well make it worth it if that's what you want to do. Not me. Done with that crap.