I think I’m a sadist who gets off torturing herself with massive loads of work

[bloodandshavedhead]

does anyone experience this? Maybe it's just me but Jesus I have come to the deep disgusting realisation that I love stressing, crying, vomiting, and bitching and mowing because the over load of work gives me an excuse to act out, to act bitchy to people (even though I don't unless ur my sister or the people I hate) I think it's just the stress in my brain turning this into somewhat of a weird pleasure for me so I won't have to cope with the debilitating fact that stress was meant for life threatening events not for me to be staying up late and barely having any time to sleep, eat, do hobbies or anything.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sounds more like masochism transfering to sadism on occassion. I'm not sure I really enjoyed/ enjoy stress and pressure. Although I have used workaholism as an excuse not to socialise!

Personally, I do become irritable when I'm tired, overworked and stressed but, I dread having to interact with people during those times because I'm much more likely to be triggered by comments- especially criticisms and snap back at them. Being angry or agressive isn't something I enjoy.

Not to judge though. Maybe you have a legitimate reason to be annoyed with people and being under unhealthy amounts of pressure gives you more cover to finally express that.