Discussion I think if you have any dreams/desires you should get off of this website

[przeciwwymiotne]

I just don't understand why so many people want to end their lives when they aren't completely out of control and completely depressed. I envy you guys, I'd love to live. But I don't have any desires or thoughts or plans. Nothing. I'm basically already dead. Just prolonging my consciousness because I fear death. But I have to do it soon. I feel so powerless and alone. Fuck you.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Most people are here because they feel helpless… Some are depressed, some are chronically ill, Nobody here has any hope….

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide doesn't even need a reason in the first place and nobody needs to justify their reasons for wanting to leave. I don't understand those who could want to live in a world like this. Existence is so pointless to me and awful. Anyone could end up in the worst pain possible, there really are an unlimited amount of things wrong with existing. I personally don't see life as being worth living and I see non existence as always being preferable.

But we all view life differently. I guess that everyone has their individual reasons for being on this website and it's none of our business really as to why. People can come on here if they like as long as they aren't causing harm in some way like posting anti suicide things.

But I do understand having no dreams and desires, I don't see life to be desirable at all. I just exist because of the fear of ctb methods failing, dying is so not easy and I wish that it was. I'm sorry that you suffer and cannot have the life you want. It's all so unfair.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Most people are here because they feel helpless… Some are depressed, some are chronically ill, Nobody here has any hope

I don't agree with that, maybe a few of us in here are actively suicidal, most are using the idea of ctb as a coping mechanism. And using ctb as a coping mechanism okay, but it's also harmful and I think it's healthier to abstain from SaSu. Idk.... I'm just bitter that I've nothing to hold onto meanwhile a huge deal of people from here could still fix their lives, and want to fix their lives. I worry they'll get too mixed up in these negative thoughts and end up like me. Save the spark while you still can!

 

[VKVK]

A big portion of the people here are in the process to become that. Don't hate on others who share a very similar pain to you because most possibly they could/would/will end up like us sooner or later. I too have nothing inside me anymore. Do you know the only time I was happy in the last couple of years? Yesterday/today messing with AI image generation just because it's fun. I have no degree, no job, no motivation in life, am extremely avoidant because I was treated like shit my whole life by family and peers and have a very hard time doing the "bare minimum" to stay alive and "survive" (not rot, but I'm rotting anyway).

They may not be "completely" "out of control" "yet", but by that logic we should either all be dead by now or get off the website and magically live blissful ignorant lives without our bad experiences and traumas. You too haven't """lost control""" yet or you'd be dead. We're all holding onto something, even if it's apathy and fear of dying.

I do think I have no choice anymore though, so I need to explore my options soon.

 

[Life_and_Death]

all im going to say is that there are horrible mental disorders that put people on both sides of the fence and suicide is the only way out

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I don't agree with that, maybe a few of us in here are actively suicidal, most are using the idea of ctb as a coping mechanism. And using ctb as a coping mechanism okay, but it's also harmful and I think it's healthier to abstain from SaSu. Idk.... I'm just bitter that I've nothing to hold onto meanwhile a huge deal of people from here could still fix their lives, and want to fix their lives. I worry they'll get too mixed up in these negative thoughts and end up like me. Save the spark while you still can!

I think you're absolutely right. Most of us are visiting SS as a Coping mechanism. We are overwhelmed by problems so we want to avoid them completely by Assuming we won't be around to deal with them. Hanging around on SS does nothing to address those problems. Some of us have lost the will and motivation to "fix "our problems. In my case, even under the best circumstances, I had trouble motivating myself…. Now things are infinitely worse… My default setting is quitting… SS is a place to feel a little less lonely….

 

[xyzzy]

No one needs to justify their decision to ctb (or not) to anyone else. Why should I only ctb if I'm completely without hope? I'm human, I'll probably always have dreams and desires even if the rational part of me knows they're stupid. And anyway, ending my life is one of my biggest dreams/desires, one that is actually within my reach. So I'm definitely going to stay on this site (until I ctb, of course). If you don't like posts by people who still have some hope, you can ignore them. No need to shame us for being here.

 

[VKVK]

I think you're absolutely right. Most of us are visiting SS as a Coping mechanism. We are overwhelmed by problems so we want to avoid them completely by Assuming we won't be around to deal with them. Hanging around on SS does nothing to address those problems. Some of us have lost the will and motivation to "fix "our problems. In my case, even under the best circumstances, I had trouble motivating myself…. Now things are infinitely worse… My default setting is quitting… SS is a place to feel a little less lonely….

Hit too close to home

 

[y'ffre]

I have hopes and desires and I am relatively fine but not completely healed. If I won't be healed completely (I am still trying something) I will rebel and choose to ctb. I am here because being here feels good simply.

 

[takemenowpls]

Hmmm. przeciwwymiotne does make a point. At least with me. When I think about my life I tend to look at just the bad. I don't focus on the possibilities or hope. Truth is my life is a mess right now, I am hopeless and depressed. 5 years of suffering and counting. But I lived through it and there is a chance I could still be happy in the next year. Start over, find a mate and live. Question is do I want to? If I could simply push a button and die peacefully I would do it in a second. But ctb using all the methods here… scares the hell out of me. I dunno, but this made me think.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Hmmm. przeciwwymiotne does make a point. At least with me. When I think about my life I tend to look at just the bad. I don't focus on the possibilities or hope. Truth is my life is a mess right now, I am hopeless and depressed. 5 years of suffering and counting. But I lived through it and there is a chance I could still be happy in the next year. Start over, find a mate and live. Question is do I want to? If I could simply push a button and die peacefully I would do it in a second. But ctb using all the methods here… scares the hell out of me. I dunno, but this made me think.

thats awesome, i hope that if you do decide to give recovery another go that you succeed
(more so for OP) but this doesnt apply to everyone.
i want to do SOOOO many things. i have lots of dreams and desires. but i also have crippling mental disorders that make every second of life hell. its not one size fits all and hurtful to people to think that way

 

[takemenowpls]

See here is where I think it gets choppy. Again, I hear hope (y'ffre) you are trying. But being here makes you feel good. I understand this place is a coping mechanism. I've spent my last week living on this website. But you for example, perhaps it isn't good to read the posts here. Maybe reading them is pushing more into the dark? Again, I dunno….

 

[VKVK]

Hmmm. przeciwwymiotne does make a point. At least with me. When I think about my life I tend to look at just the bad. I don't focus on the possibilities or hope. Truth is my life is a mess right now, I am hopeless and depressed. 5 years of suffering and counting. But I lived through it and there is a chance I could still be happy in the next year. Start over, find a mate and live. Question is do I want to? If I could simply push a button and die peacefully I would do it in a second. But ctb using all the methods here… scares the hell out of me. I dunno, but this made me think.

If that's true for you then I agree with OP and you should get the fuck away from this site. Hold onto any hope for a better life that you can if you have one. I know I wish I could.

 

[takemenowpls]

thats awesome, i hope that if you do decide to give recovery another go that you succeed
(more so for OP) but this doesnt apply to everyone.
i want to do SOOOO many things. i have lots of dreams and desires. but i also have crippling mental disorders that make every second of life hell. its not one size fits all and hurtful to people to think that way

You are so correct. We are all different and I don't mean this goes for everyone, not at all. This was only meant for one person who mentioned hope. As for me I'm still on the fence and looking at methods all day.

 

[Hope:-)]

When I was younger I used thinking or more so talking about suicidality as a coping mechanism. Now I'm truly suicidal- hotel booked, just getting last meds I'd do anything to have it as just a coping mechanism again. Being truly suicidal is awful- you walk around knowing you're about to go through the worst physical and emotional pain of your life. If you're young for God's sake get off this site even if you do have a mental disorder as someone mentioned- you really do have so many years ahead of you. This place was a last resort for me, it shouldn't be a place to sort of hang out tbh.x

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I think you're absolutely right. Most of us are visiting SS as a Coping mechanism. We are overwhelmed by problems so we want to avoid them completely by Assuming we won't be around to deal with them. Hanging around on SS does nothing to address those problems. Some of us have lost the will and motivation to "fix "our problems. In my case, even under the best circumstances, I had trouble motivating myself…. Now things are infinitely worse… My default setting is quitting… SS is a place to feel a little less lonely….

"Default setting is quitting" I've felt that

I have hopes and desires and I am relatively fine but not completely healed. If I won't be healed completely (I am still trying something) I will rebel and choose to ctb. I am here because being here feels good simply.

I understand, I don't know you and I'm in no position to give advice, you'll do whatever you want to. From my perspective, looking back, I think if I had backed out of harmful coping mechanisms sooner I'd have a higher chance to become content with life for a lil bit longer. I'm sure you are aware that engaging with a suicide forum only reinforces negative thinking and depression pathways in your brain. I think it's logical to abstain from it and squeeze the most of your will to live, to try and to pursue your goals.

When I was younger I used thinking or more so talking about suicidality as a coping mechanism. Now I'm truly suicidal- hotel booked, just getting last meds I'd do anything to have it as just a coping mechanism again. Being truly suicidal is awful- you walk around knowing you're about to go through the worst physical and emotional pain of your life. If you're young for God's sake get off this site even if you do have a mental disorder as someone mentioned- you really do have so many years ahead of you. This place was a last resort for me, it shouldn't be a place to sort of hang out tbh.x

I relate, 'I will kill myself' was often my default response to hardships when I was younger, but I've never seriously considered it. I thought of suicide as a quick and impulsive thing, that will give me peace. Now, day before ctb, I realize that for me it's the loneliest and most helpless thing. It's different for everyone. I just wish I could have done something to prevent it. And I project myself onto some posts in here, wishing I could prevent people from falling so low. A lot of you guys have potential, and I didn't mean to say that your reasons are invalid. Just that the spark isn't fully extinguished, if you have something you could shine once again. Why get rid of this spark by reading up suicide resources?

 

[y'ffre]

I understand, I don't know you and I'm in no position to give advice, you'll do whatever you want to. From my perspective, looking back, I think if I had backed out of harmful coping mechanisms sooner I'd have a higher chance to become content with life for a lil bit longer. I'm sure you are aware that engaging with a suicide forum only reinforces negative thinking and depression pathways in your brain. I think it's logical to abstain from it and squeeze the most of your will to live, to try and to pursue your goals.

I understand that pretty well and I appreciate your concern. But my mind does that enough already and I can deal with that. If I can deal with my mind (who knows all my weaknesses and where to strike) I can also deal with the negativity here.
And I can apparently. I don't feel any different when I am in this forum.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I think you're absolutely right. Most of us are visiting SS as a Coping mechanism. We are overwhelmed by problems so we want to avoid them completely by Assuming we won't be around to deal with them. Hanging around on SS does nothing to address those problems. Some of us have lost the will and motivation to "fix "our problems. In my case, even under the best circumstances, I had trouble motivating myself…. Now things are infinitely worse… My default setting is quitting… SS is a place to feel a little less lonely….

Spot on.

 

[hamvil]

I could write what I write here on a personal diary and Indeed I do that from time to time. This forum provides me some feedback to my nonsense. I read posts that make me say: this person has a small problem he/she can make, OR this person is far more fucked up then me. I do not judge either of them. Well maybe very young people should also consider that such pain is also part of the age.

I am far older and without the energies to restart. I am suicidal all days since more than two years. I almost jumped in a few occasions but never managed to do that last little step. Maybe this forum will help me with that.

 

[Obliviate]

It's not about our dreams and desires, it's about the conflicts, predicaments, corruption, lack of humanity that WILL occur to get to our dreams and will STILL occur when you have reached your dream. You have to have some serious privilege and safety net to say something like that. Life is cruel in more than "I won't accomplish my dreams" no there's racism, sexism, abuse etc EVERYWHERE. What is a dream worth if having to endure all that?

 

[VKVK]

When I was younger I used thinking or more so talking about suicidality as a coping mechanism. Now I'm truly suicidal- hotel booked, just getting last meds I'd do anything to have it as just a coping mechanism again. Being truly suicidal is awful- you walk around knowing you're about to go through the worst physical and emotional pain of your life. If you're young for God's sake get off this site even if you do have a mental disorder as someone mentioned- you really do have so many years ahead of you. This place was a last resort for me, it shouldn't be a place to sort of hang out tbh.x

I'm fairly young (23) but I relate to everything you said. I wish I could go back in time and fix some things, anything not to end up like this so young.

 

[notlongnow]

some are frightened of the effort and challenge change brings. Ctb seems 'easier'. At least in our heads it does! Pill popping to create a functional way of 'living' also doesn't appeal to all. We're here for all sorts of reasons. I respect this place and all you troubled souls ❤

 

[SexyIncél]

some are frightened of the effort and challenge change brings. Ctb seems 'easier'. At least in our heads it does! Pill popping to create a functional way of 'living' also doesn't appeal to all. We're here for all sorts of reasons. I respect this place and all you troubled souls ❤

It is strange, the role of fear in my life. I don't notice my fear much, and I've done dangerous things to help others. But it indeed colors things... makes me feel "This thing is silly, why do people like it?" Whatever it is, it stops me.

I was partying late last night, surrounded by people, in a way I'm not used to. There was indeed a fear of "the effort and challenge change brings." It was THERE, below my conscious mind, trying to sabotage me!

The firearm here with me... it brings simplicity. As an organism who doesn't want all my possibilities extinguished, I'm scared of it too. But in a different way.

Whatever the case is, I have an internal need to be here, with people talking about the one thing relevant to me.

 

[freedompass]

Never really had dreams or goals to lose. Depression pathways already pretty well established, can't pin that on SS. It's an outlet where it's ok to be myself in a world where having dreams is mandatory and so many things are assumed. I got randomly born on this planet therefore I have to have dreams of what I want to 'achieve', why? SS is a counter culture. I haven't and may never set a date but in the meantime I'm here because I want to be, it's comforting, an outlet, a distraction and sometimes makes me grateful for what I still have.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do appreciate the reasoning that a site like this could potentially drag someone down further and further into despair and your concern for others is very compassionate.

Still, it really annoys me when it all becomes a misery contest- the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence type thing. We simply can't relate to how other people perceive and deal with their problems because we're not that person. Maybe you could make their life 'work' if you were in their shoes. There probably is someone out there that would still hold onto life in your shoes. We'll never know though.

They may go on to live fulfilling lives if they leave this site and choose not to ctb. They may stay on this site for the rest of their lives and still not ctb- whether that was a happy or miserable existence. They may ctb and it will have been an awful mistake because they had the 'potential' to turn things around but at the end of the day- whatever happens- it was that person's choice. Plus, the site is supposed to be age restricted- so, in theory, they are old enough to choose.

Sorry to rant- I think your intentions are kind. I guess I just have a real problem with the 'it's all right for you' sentiment.

 

[want2dienow]

It's not about our dreams and desires, it's about the conflicts, predicaments, corruption, lack of humanity that WILL occur to get to our dreams and will STILL occur when you have reached your dream. You have to have some serious privilege and safety net to say something like that. Life is cruel in more than "I won't accomplish my dreams" no there's racism, sexism, abuse etc EVERYWHERE. What is a dream worth if having to endure all that?

Finally; one understands

 

[hellispink]

I think any place/forum in the internet can influence positively or negatively in one person's behavior. This is why we should always be cautious and know what we want from it.

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

I think we all come here for different reasons. I myself have burnt out all hopes and suffered immensely, becoming a member of the living dead, such as how you describe yourself. However, I also have a philosophy that leads me to conclude nonexistence is always preferable to existence, similar to the ideology that our fellow sufferer @FuneralCry also endorses. I think all should have the right to a peaceful exit because universally our existence is driven by suffering, striving, and desire, and none of us chose to be here. Even on a non-meta-ethical level, I feel that it is a rather self-evident truth of ethics that we should each have bodily autonomy, and be free to stay or leave as we so choose. I understand that there are only some here who also dwell in the graveyard of philosophy, and I respect that others feel differently from me, as long as they respect my decision to leave. But with that in mind, I will relentlessly attack pro-lifers' character, and grant them no quarter, since they leave me few intellectual arguments to strip bare, to their hollow core of naivety and ignorance, if they so dare to challenge my promortalist, efilist, negative utilitarian, tranquilist, and antinatalist paradigms.

 

[wait.what]

Are we literally doing "check your privilege" on a suicide forum? Why? I doubt there are pentouse suites in oblivion.