sinnrr-sistrr
le canva Ă ma lame
- Apr 13, 2026
- 77
I don't wanna go through my whole backstory, but basically I joined SaSu while looking for a SH-specific forum.
SaSu has helped me manage my urges so far, but I can't help but feel it has also pulled me down from only having SH urges to becoming badly suicidal again.
I've started dissociating a lot more, and finding that SaSu is the only place that helps me ground myself, maybe because I'm somewhat comfortable in my misery? I don't know...
My gf told me she's noticed that change in me, that I smile less, that I've lost that drive I used to have when we started dating. She promised me that she'd stay by my side until the end.
Yesterday she told me that she's accepted the possibility that our relationship might end with my suicide, but that the moments she gets to spend with me are worth any pain for her. This shocked me a bit, and I still don't know how to feel about it.
I don't know if that downwards drag stems from my activity on SaSu, or if it's the other way around, but what I know for sure is that I find myself unable to not go on SaSu for a while.
I think I need to leave this place, lest I end up leaving this life.
SaSu has helped me manage my urges so far, but I can't help but feel it has also pulled me down from only having SH urges to becoming badly suicidal again.
I've started dissociating a lot more, and finding that SaSu is the only place that helps me ground myself, maybe because I'm somewhat comfortable in my misery? I don't know...
My gf told me she's noticed that change in me, that I smile less, that I've lost that drive I used to have when we started dating. She promised me that she'd stay by my side until the end.
Yesterday she told me that she's accepted the possibility that our relationship might end with my suicide, but that the moments she gets to spend with me are worth any pain for her. This shocked me a bit, and I still don't know how to feel about it.
I don't know if that downwards drag stems from my activity on SaSu, or if it's the other way around, but what I know for sure is that I find myself unable to not go on SaSu for a while.
I think I need to leave this place, lest I end up leaving this life.
