I think I am going to do it tomorrow evening

[Painnomore]

I am considering ctb tomorrow in the evening. I picked a nice place in the woods with a beautiful view over my hometown.

I have two bottles of N and Domperidone. I have several questions - how many pills and when so I have to take?

What kind of meal and when do I eat it in order to mitigate eventual vomitting? I have a sensitive stomach so this is why I am taking precautions.

I really wanted to live but my health is not coming back. Problems progress on a daily basis and I am unable to keep up from quite some time. Having an invisible disorder brings with it misunderstanding from others and they also don't fully believe me. But I am done trying to prove them that what I have is real and it is more than a torture.

Being disabled and homebound is one of the most cruel things that can happen to you and I don't wish this on my worst enemy. This level of suffering should not exist.

Anyways, I would appreciate someone knowledgeable to provide me with some info. Thank you.

 

[Painnomore]

Anyone?

 

[Endtimes1]

Would you feel comfortable with describing your illness?

 

[Painnomore]

Severe case of tinnitus, hyperacusis with pain, sound distortions and many more.

After continuously going downhill, I can't take it anymore. I just wish I am as calm as today so I could go through with it. The suffering is just unbearable. Having only one shot and I have got to do it right. This is why I need some help as well.

 

[Endtimes1]

Severe case of tinnitus, hyperacusis with pain, sound distortions and many more.

After continuously going downhill, I can't take it anymore. I just wish I am as calm as today so I could go through with it. The suffering is just unbearable. Having only one shot and I have got to do it right. This is why I need some help as well.

Have you tried any ear plugs or any kind of treatments?

 

[outrider567]

Severe case of tinnitus, hyperacusis with pain, sound distortions and many more.

After continuously going downhill, I can't take it anymore. I just wish I am as calm as today so I could go through with it. The suffering is just unbearable. Having only one shot and I have got to do it right. This is why I need some help as well.

So sorry to see that, Tinnitus can be debilitating for anyone--wish you the best

 

[Painnomore]

Have you tried any ear plugs or any kind of treatments?

I am so severe that plugs plus earmuffs dont do the work even at home. I can't go outside. There is no treatment and I have tried and experimented with pills, diets, sound exposure, silence, pink noise etc. Nothing is working and I am getting worse daily.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible what you have to endure. It is awful how the human body is capable of torturing us so much and I understand why you would be so desperate to leave. I hope that you are able to find the answer to your question. I can imagine that it must be a relief having N. I wish you freedom from suffering.

 

[Endtimes1]

I am so severe that plugs plus earmuffs dont do the work even at home. I can't go outside. There is no treatment and I have tried and experimented with pills, diets, sound exposure, silence, pink noise etc. Nothing is working and I am getting worse daily.

Really sorry to hear that. It's horrible if you get met by disbelief by doctors. If they have no working treatment, then it's extremely hurtful if they pretend that it's only in your mind.

 

[Suicidal Little Boy]

Just having a tinnitus that doesn't go away is enough for me to be in a desparate despair and want to cbt but having more than that is just pure, unimaginable torture. I am so sorry that you have to go through this I really REALLY want to save you and everyone from that kind of suffering but FUCK THE UNIVERSE.
Whatever your decision is, I hope you can find peace and silence from the noise or the strength to combat and adjust through the suffering.

 

[Painnomore]

So today should be the day guys. I plan to go to the forest before it gets dark and make sure my parents don't notice.

Anyone have a recommendation for food and when and what dosage of AE to take?

 

[Deleted member 31858]

I understand you well, I know very well that it is difficult to live like this. Do you have a long time supporting this? From what you say about your parents, I think you are young, that's why I asked if you have had tinnitus and hyperacusis for a long time? I found this thread that might help you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I don't know what to tell you because I have the same thing and I too would like to end this. I just hope you have the peace you need. Thread 'N PROTOCOL / REGIME / REGIMEN NOTES' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/n-protocol-regime-regimen-notes.27092/

 

[Painnomore]

I understand you well, I know very well that it is difficult to live like this. Do you have a long time supporting this? From what you say about your parents, I think you are young, that's why I asked if you have had tinnitus and hyperacusis for a long time? I found this thread that might help you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I don't know what to tell you because I have the same thing and I too would like to end this. I just hope you have the peace you need. Thread 'N PROTOCOL / REGIME / REGIMEN NOTES' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/n-protocol-regime-regimen-notes.27092/

Thanks for the information. I live with my parents but this is not life - tortured by every sound with tinnitus increasing permanently on a daily basis. I am one of this 1% that have it really bad. Suicidally bad. When it was more manageable at the beginning, I kept going to the office, going for walks , travelling on short distances etc. But now i cant leave my home and i am constantly tormented by every sound and the never ending symphony of sounds my tinnitus consists of. I have may be 20 tones, I can't count them all. It is that bad.

I think I might go with the starting dose just before ctb. Thanks.

 

[Painnomore]

I am starting to back out again. This is the 3rd time already I am doing this. Last time I was half way in the forest but it was dark and I heard some noises and I decided not to do it that day and went home.

My body is failing me and I need to go. Why is it so hard? I do t wanna live in this torture chamber of a body anymore.