I can't get drugs. Now, it's the worst when the self loathing, gruesome CTB motivation hits me right when I'm trying to sleep. I can't even go to sleep when I feel like hanging myself. (Unless it's so strong that I just fall asleep somehow)
So, I take sleep meds to escape that. I do not want to face the horrors consciously. I want to sleep when my brain tells me to kill myself and clean up the planet that way. It's an escape, and by God does it work. If I can't fall asleep, I'll knock myself out.
So, I take sleep meds to escape that. I do not want to face the horrors consciously. I want to sleep when my brain tells me to kill myself and clean up the planet that way. It's an escape, and by God does it work. If I can't fall asleep, I'll knock myself out.
