Abyssal
Probably gonna die soon maybe?
- Nov 26, 2023
- 1,326
Look where that brought me. Got caught in my attempt and endured equal parts positive and embarrassing reactions. Step dad wrote about it on social media all "pray for Abyssal" and shit and the Facebook people literally paid him money. Yelled at me when I asked him to take it down. Now I have the occasional stranger asking if I am okay, or a moms sister's daughter's friend ask or whatever.
But it wasn't all bad, people cared more about my existence than I thought and I got my meds doubled. Been zombieish but not depressed. I no longer think of suicide more than once a week. I gained a hobby for collecting. I got better.
Well, my dad who swore to help me is refusing care for his diabetes. Doctor said he's got a few years to live. He's always been so kind to me but when I bring it up he gets really mean.
I did all of this because he found me and paid for the treatment, the meds, the therapy, and spentbtime with me. He's the one person I can count on to not hate me for being suicidal, so why did this have to happen? The world is trying to get rid of us both, I really should've tried to die better I'm so stupid.
But it wasn't all bad, people cared more about my existence than I thought and I got my meds doubled. Been zombieish but not depressed. I no longer think of suicide more than once a week. I gained a hobby for collecting. I got better.
Well, my dad who swore to help me is refusing care for his diabetes. Doctor said he's got a few years to live. He's always been so kind to me but when I bring it up he gets really mean.
I did all of this because he found me and paid for the treatment, the meds, the therapy, and spentbtime with me. He's the one person I can count on to not hate me for being suicidal, so why did this have to happen? The world is trying to get rid of us both, I really should've tried to die better I'm so stupid.
