TheCavernousDeep.
“One Last Tour for the Lady of the Ink.”
- Oct 22, 2025
- 86
I put so much fucking time into it constantly with nothing to show for it. Worse still I'm an "up and coming field" and people have been glazing how smart I am for years, so no one in my life can believe that I'm actually struggling with it. They all just assume it's in my head or something. "You just need to talk to the right people. Go ask for help, go network." Like I am entirely unsupported in the place I work so It's me vs the world, and I'm just not good at what I do. I haven't ever really been good at what I do. And I'm not the kind of person who can fail at my job everyday and still be fucking happy.
IDK what the "Recovery Perspective" is on this. I am completely alone where I live but I don't even want to make friends because it seems like a waste of time because I am bad at the thing that was supposed to be my entire life. And it's not even like I hate it, or that I don't try. I do try. I spend hours and hours and hours on this shit I just suck. I literally just suck and I'm embarrassed and I'm ashamed. And I have a plan to pivot out of it but what If I suck at everything? What If I'm just the problem?
IDK what the "Recovery Perspective" is on this. I am completely alone where I live but I don't even want to make friends because it seems like a waste of time because I am bad at the thing that was supposed to be my entire life. And it's not even like I hate it, or that I don't try. I do try. I spend hours and hours and hours on this shit I just suck. I literally just suck and I'm embarrassed and I'm ashamed. And I have a plan to pivot out of it but what If I suck at everything? What If I'm just the problem?
