Help I strongly suspect one of my closest friends have killed themselves but I don't know for certain and it's killing me.

[redhousepainters]

Hi. I made a friend online a couple of years ago and I was incredibly close with them, as were they. Both of us struggled with depression and suicidal ideation and would confide in each other. They are half the reason for my being alive because they forced me into getting therapy and going on medications when I was at my lowest in life.

I had a fallout with them two to three weeks ago and they said they're done with me and that they are about to go kill themself. I was at fault here but I won't go into details as to how. Basically I did something horrendous that hurt them a lot. My depression never really left and neither did theirs and I would have many a moments where I'd confide in her and talk about how I want to kill myself. This one time I did drugs, had a very bad trip, got incredibly depressed and told them I was killing myself and thereafter was asleep for two days straight because of the potency of the drug probably making them believe I did it for real. They messaged me saying they were gonna kill themself too and deleted their account.

I strongly suspect they killed themself but I have no way of making it certain and it's absolutely killing me from the inside. I need to know if they are alive or dead but unfortunately I don't know how to go about finding out about it. I know their full name and their location (Los Angeles) but I'm not in the States and don't have anyone who lives there.

Can anyone please please tell me if there is a way for me to find out about their being alive or not?

 

[Forever Sleep]

This must be a terrible worry for you. I understand why you are so upset.

I'm assuming you don't know any of their friends or family that you could ask? Or even where they worked? (If they worked.)

Do you know if your friend rented? I wonder if you could find out who the lettings agent was and see if they have any information. They may of course- not be able to tell you but I suppose you could say you were having trouble getting in touch with them and- did they have a forwarding address? Have you actually tried writing to them? If they owned the property- can you Google it and see if it's up for sale?

I have tried those ancestry websites in the past because I believed a previous neighbour of mine had died. I didn't have much luck. It probably depends on the death being registered. Still- you could try that. Some of them have free trials. You'll likely need your friends full name and maybe their date/location of birth.

I'm not sure if the police would give you any information. Plus, telling them you were concerned may well initiate a wellfare check- which I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate if they are still with us.

I'm so sorry- not great suggestions I know. Hopefully someone else may have a better suggestion. I suppose there are private investigator types. Don't know how much they would charge though.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

If you have their name I'm sure you've already seen if they're on social media or any other activity online ?

 

[Sourdough]

You can find out. Search their name, location, followed by "obituary" on Google. Example: Caleb Hawkinson obituary Roseburg Oregon.

 

[theboy]

talk to their parents

 

[lionetta12]

Hi. I made a friend online a couple of years ago and I was incredibly close with them, as were they. Both of us struggled with depression and suicidal ideation and would confide in each other. They are half the reason for my being alive because they forced me into getting therapy and going on medications when I was at my lowest in life.

I had a fallout with them two to three weeks ago and they said they're done with me and that they are about to go kill themself. I was at fault here but I won't go into details as to how. Basically I did something horrendous that hurt them a lot. My depression never really left and neither did theirs and I would have many a moments where I'd confide in her and talk about how I want to kill myself. This one time I did drugs, had a very bad trip, got incredibly depressed and told them I was killing myself and thereafter was asleep for two days straight because of the potency of the drug probably making them believe I did it for real. They messaged me saying they were gonna kill themself too and deleted their account.

I strongly suspect they killed themself but I have no way of making it certain and it's absolutely killing me from the inside. I need to know if they are alive or dead but unfortunately I don't know how to go about finding out about it. I know their full name and their location (Los Angeles) but I'm not in the States and don't have anyone who lives there.

Can anyone please please tell me if there is a way for me to find out about their being alive or not?

Since you know their name and location, are you able to maybe google their family or something and call or contact them on social media? I had to do this during the summer with my ex's family because he'd talk about suicide so much and I didn't hear from him for a day or so and since he talked about suicide daily I had no idea what to do so contacted two members of the family.