Venting i still miss my cats and no amount of sleep stops me from feeling so tired everyday

[wastingpotential]

i can barely get myself out of bed since my life went from shit to shitter to shittier-er, each time i do i have to take the first ten minutes awake off to just stare up at the ceiling and question if it's worth getting out of bed if it's worth to feel this way any longer if it's worth it to even feel myself breathing. but i try.

last post of mine sums up everything, but basically lost my apartment had to move in with someone i've known since i was a child whom i detest with all my soul and had to give away my two cats for adoption simply because said person didn't want them in the apartment, no other reason. despite knowing well how much i love them.

all i hear now is fighting everyday, arguing and shit talking behind backs and then when everyone's tired of arguing with each other it's thrown out on me, but i don't get to talk back, i don't get to be listened to, or anything, anytime i do try to get a word out to the other person they leave straight away, they walk off or look away and if i even try to raise my voice i'm told off for that and i'm being too loud and people can hear me and god forbid anybody ever listens to me, really.

i could care so much more less about anyone around me, i just fucking miss my cats so much. i never ask for anything, i never ask any person or any god for anything at all because i don't care or don't feel worthy enough. the one time i do and it's stripped away from me right after.

i'm exhausted. i miss self-harming but i know that doesn't help, neither does sleep because i'm bound to wake up eventually, i can't run away from this if i tried.
i haven't asked my friend yet if i could go stay with them instead, i'm so tired of feeling like, and being a burden to everyone around me. i'm so so tired.

i just miss my babies. i want someone to hear me at least say that and acknowledge that i miss them and i'm a human too

 

[affinity]

Ask your friend to move in with them.

Where are your cats now? Did some actually adopt them? Is there a way to get them back once you're with your friend?

 

[wastingpotential]

Ask your friend to move in with them.

Where are your cats now? Did some actually adopt them? Is there a way to get them back once you're with your friend?

they're in an adoption center, my friend has done alot for me already like help get my cats settled there and pay for their vet visit before they got sent off to the center and it was expensive. i don't want to burdem them anymore than i have, but living where i am has been so exhausting.

 

[LastOrder]

they're in an adoption center, my friend has done alot for me already like help get my cats settled there and pay for their vet visit before they got sent off to the center and it was expensive. i don't want to burdem them anymore than i have, but living where i am has been so exhausting.

Could you go visit them at the center? Maybe explain your situation and they might understand? I am so sorry you are going through this right now. My animals are my main support system and losing them is awful.

 

[hamvil]

Although I've never had a pet of my own, I can relate to your experience of visiting the animals in the mountains during my vacation. I have formed a bond with these creatures, as they have come to recognize and anticipate my visits - even noticing when I am absent, even if it's just for mealtime. I miss them, particularly the darling bunnies.

 

[wastingpotential]

Could you go visit them at the center? Maybe explain your situation and they might understand? I am so sorry you are going through this right now. My animals are my main support system and losing them is awful.

i could and i hope to soon, i've been busy with other things so it's been hard to find a time that works because it's far, and i can barely get out of bed these days now.

my cats were my main support system too, which is why this is killing me so much. i wouldn't be shocked if i somehow died from this. but nobody around me cares at all that i miss them terribly or i'm suffering in general which makes all these feelings worse

 

[SVEN]

I hear your despairing voice and understand the ongoing grief and sense of loss and emptiness with which you live day by day. I am so very sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so awful and tiring what you have to endure, life really is so unnecessarily cruel and to me it's so horrible how existing here can very easily get much worse. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[wastingpotential]

can't be bothered to make another thread so i'm in my own comment section. but here's my loveliest of updates.

my cats have been posted on the adoption agency's page, they mentioned that they're still scared and attached photos of them, their pupils were immensely dilated and both of them were tucked into the corners of what looked like cages of some sort.

if my heart didn't just shatter enough there was a comment criticizing my babies' "previous owners" by saying cheap food still exists and that they'd let themselves starve but never their own pets, when the agency mentions right off the bat that my cats lost their homes because their family also did. but that was completely ignored like food was the main issue here. like fuck off, i too would starve to let my babies eat and i've done exactly that many times before. people can be so heartless.

i don't know whether i'm more sad or pissed. but my heart is still aching regardless. i miss them awfully and i just wanna see them in person again and sleep beside them like we always had.