I still love this place and (most) of you all, but....

[avoid_slow_death]

It no longer feels safe here. This is not a knock on the admin or mod team or any of the long standing members here. Especially the ones I know and the ones I have interacted with on one level or another. I truly appreciate all of ya all I mentioned in the last sentence and I am immensely thankful to each and every one of you for my time here. I love you guys. You have been a great deal of solace in my stay here. Thank you soooo much.

That said, the atmosphere of this place has changed immensely. Some very evil minds have infiltrated this place and are slowly poisoning this once cozy forum with vicious and destructive ideals that frankly do nothing to help make the world better but instead contribute to the chaos and strife that ultimately lead people to come to places like this because they cannot bear this world any longer. It's a shame too as this use to be a safe place to express one's innermost thoughts and feelings without judgement or fear of someone with a twisted ideology predatorily commenting their vile views on threads where they have no business commenting.

I'm not saying all of you are like this. Hell, most of you are good hearted people. But the wolves are running freely here under the guise of being "one of us" when in actuality their minds and agendas are self serving and hatefully destructive. It truly breaks my heart that I feel so reluctant to post here often because this used to be a great deal of comfort to me. Now I have to worry about being deemed not rational for wanting to ctb or read someone's sick and twisted views on relationships thinking they are justified in their poisonous ideology.

I will continue to post a bit here and there before my time comes which is likely and hopefully very soon. Until then, I wish everyone the best and I hope everyone finds the peace they seek. Love ya all.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I was also concerned about the "change", this post from Rain is pretty good: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-much-and-its-scary.56092/page-2#post-1033587

 

[GentleJerk]

Haven't been a member here for long but Its been good seeing you post ever since I first started lurking around sep/oct. I've noticed a lot of older members leaving or not posting as much lately, and while I wish you guys wouldn't leave just because of recent changes as things may become more one sided as a result, I can understand where you are coming from and it's your choice.

I've noticed a change even in my short time here and also what you call 'the wolves' especially in the last few days. But from what I've seen this has also happened a few times in the past and hopefully it's temporary.

I wish you all the very best whether you're here with us or not, it's been a pleasure.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

Newsflash: There is no "us". There is not even any "them". People who possibly want to die soon do not create a very homogeneous group in any sense. Most of the users of this forum most likely have worse than average health problems, that's pretty much it.

Any person with half a brain understands that they are going to die one day and that the society around you doesn't really give a fuck how painfully that happens. Any person who understands this prepares for all alternatives. That's really the only motive needed for one to search for a place like this forum.

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

EDIT: Just speaking from experience, don't get all mad

 

[sivvie]

Newsflash: There is no "us". There is not even any "them". People who possibly want to die soon do not create a very homogeneous group in any sense. Most of the users of this forum most likely have worse than average health problems, that's pretty much it.

Any person with half a brain understands that they are going to die one day and that the society around you doesn't really give a fuck how painfully that happens. Any person who understands this prepares for all alternatives. That's really the only motive needed for one to search for a place like this forum.

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

You do realize having a space like this is a coping mechanism for a lot of people, right? A place that keeps a lot of people alive, in fact? Having other people that understand, or knowing that you have a place to come back to, or even just having a method available for whenever you're ready; is a coping mechanism.

You're invalidating everyone who's like that in this website. Instead of being an asshole, why don't you find something better to do with your time? And stop spewing your negative bullshit on someone who is venting, especially when they're talking about how THEY felt a sense of loss for the community they were there for.

Just because you see things one way, doesn't mean other people have to or will. Stop stigmatizing and stereotyping people just because you don't agree with them or understand them.

 

[blueclover_.]

Newsflash: There is no "us". There is not even any "them". People who possibly want to die soon do not create a very homogeneous group in any sense. Most of the users of this forum most likely have worse than average health problems, that's pretty much it.

Any person with half a brain understands that they are going to die one day and that the society around you doesn't really give a fuck how painfully that happens. Any person who understands this prepares for all alternatives. That's really the only motive needed for one to search for a place like this forum.

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

I think OP was talking about you, lol.

 

[Somber]

From the little experience I have, I can see that people come here for a myriad of reasons.

Many of us want to find a practical solution for dead, others find new perspectives in which to see themselves or the world.

To treat eachother with a modicum of respect should be the least to be expected of each and every one of us.

Nobody is forced to be part of a community here and if you don't want that, that's fine, but don't deny it to others either.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

From the little experience I have, I can see that people come here for a myriad of reasons.

Many of us want to find a practical solution for dead, others find new perspectives in which to see themselves or the world.

To treat eachother with a modicum of respect should be the least to be expected of each and every one of us.

Nobody is forced to be part of a community here and if you don't want that, that's fine, but don't deny it to others either.

Not denying anyone anything. Simply saying there are a lot of vulnerable people here and some of the more extreme ideology people espouse here is harmful to the community. There are PLENTY of places on the web and social media apps to be hateful. No need to bring it here too.

 

[Sherri]

It no longer feels safe here. This is not a knock on the admin or mod team or any of the long standing members here. Especially the ones I know and the ones I have interacted with on one level or another. I truly appreciate all of ya all I mentioned in the last sentence and I am immensely thankful to each and every one of you for my time here. I love you guys. You have been a great deal of solace in my stay here. Thank you soooo much.

That said, the atmosphere of this place has changed immensely. Some very evil minds have infiltrated this place and are slowly poisoning this once cozy forum with vicious and destructive ideals that frankly do nothing to help make the world better but instead contribute to the chaos and strife that ultimately lead people to come to places like this because they cannot bear this world any longer. It's a shame too as this use to be a safe place to express one's innermost thoughts and feelings without judgement or fear of someone with a twisted ideology predatorily commenting their vile views on threads where they have no business commenting.

I'm not saying all of you are like this. Hell, most of you are good hearted people. But the wolves are running freely here under the guise of being "one of us" when in actuality their minds and agendas are self serving and hatefully destructive. It truly breaks my heart that I feel so reluctant to post here often because this used to be a great deal of comfort to me. Now I have to worry about being deemed not rational for wanting to ctb or read someone's sick and twisted views on relationships thinking they are justified in their poisonous ideology.

I will continue to post a bit here and there before my time comes which is likely and hopefully very soon. Until then, I wish everyone the best and I hope everyone finds the peace they seek. Love ya all.

Yes you are right, this beloved site changed so much. Many people from where we joined left. The sanctuary was always sk Alive with interesting topics on the lounge, now I guess it turned out to be more of a kind of social media, but have the biggest respect for rain and all her staff. But SS did change a lot .
Having said that, it's also because of the ones that want to shut our voices, but I'm adapting to tge new members and reconnect with some from when we joined,

 

[Somber]

Not denying anyone anything. Simply saying there are a lot of vulnerable people here and some of the more extreme ideology people espouse here is harmful to the community. There are PLENTY of places on the web and social media apps to be hateful. No need to bring it here too.

I'm going to need to be more explicit here. You weren't the "you" I was referring to. I was referring to people creating unnecessary negativity within the community.

 

[blueclover_.]

New members (post-NYT) are so different from pre-NYT members. They're so fresh-off the pro-life boat with those classic platitudes, bet a good portion of them are journalists and clout chasers. Too much publicity is never good, it changed this forum quite significantly.

 

[StarryStarry]

Newsflash: There is no "us". There is not even any "them". People who possibly want to die soon do not create a very homogeneous group in any sense. Most of the users of this forum most likely have worse than average health problems, that's pretty much it.

Any person with half a brain understands that they are going to die one day and that the society around you doesn't really give a fuck how painfully that happens. Any person who understands this prepares for all alternatives. That's really the only motive needed for one to search for a place like this forum.

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

I read your post (big waste of time) to ensure I understood what you were vomiting. I do not have any health issues, but I come here to interact with people who feel the way that I do; that have had similar circumstances in their life that brought them here. To clump everyone together and state that if you are on this site you have no life is a disservice to everyone on this site. Obviously you're here, so I am assuming you have no life. And if you do, maybe it's time to go someplace else.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Or what? What you gonna do? Btw. i never claimed to have decency.

Ooooh evil forces are on the move. Evil wolves!

But it is expected to have decency on this forum.

Would you mind?

 

[Blue_mist]

Everything has changed after that NYT article, threads about fake recoveries, getting help, and hotline are becoming more frequent. Ruthless aholes like the one who wrote the "newsflash" are roaming freely practicing their sick sadism hobbies to hurt as many as they can.

 

[sivvie]

Well since i'm an active user of this forum myself i didn't think so many would be insulted by that comment but i guess i was wrong to underestimate how easy it is to trigger the people here.

This was a public thread that basically said "boohoo, i don't feel like this place is for me anymore because now there are people who think differently about things" without offering any details about those "wolves" or their behaviour and that just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

I guess you kind of make me sick too.

Or maybe just take responsibility for the fact that you said something extremely insensitive and unkind, rather than blaming people for their rightful reaction to what you said lmao. If you didn't have anything nice to add, why did you say it in the first place? what were you trying to achieve?

 

[justsayin]

Newsflash: There is no "us". There is not even any "them". People who possibly want to die soon do not create a very homogeneous group in any sense. Most of the users of this forum most likely have worse than average health problems, that's pretty much it.

Any person with half a brain understands that they are going to die one day and that the society around you doesn't really give a fuck how painfully that happens. Any person who understands this prepares for all alternatives. That's really the only motive needed for one to search for a place like this forum.

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

EDIT: Just speaking from experience, don't get all mad

I still don't understand why this got so many knickers in a twist (that led to insults and deleted posts).

The whole "us" vs "them" dichotomy is a thing used by politicians in order to initiate conflicts. Forum members are not a homogeneous group, and that is not a bad thing. Serious health problems are indeed common in here.

I have at least half a brain, and do understand those things, and did came here to prepare for my demise.

I do actively post here, and have no life whatsoever.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I still don't understand why this got so many knickers in a twist (that led to insults and deleted posts).

The whole "us" vs "them" dichotomy is a thing used by politicians in order to initiate conflicts. Forum members are not a homogeneous group, and that is not a bad thing. Serious health problems are indeed common in here.

I have at least half a brain, and do understand those things, and did came here to prepare for my demise.

I do actively post here, and have no life whatsoever.

I did react a bit too strongly when I should have just let it go, but, I do not back down from someone who is trying to bully me into submitting to their rhetoric. Lived a rough life and my instinct is to fight back when attacked.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I can't tell if OP is talking about incels or pro-lifers or ?

I've noticed a change between when I was here in 2019 and now, but it's mostly just the quality of posts and discussions seems to have gone down imo. I came back right before the NYT article dropped.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I can't tell if OP is talking about incels or pro-lifers or ?

All of the above. I am all for free speech, but, people need to tread carefully sometimes in places like this. As stated before, there is a lot of vulnerability and trauma here and certain types of talk just damages some people further. I'm not cool with people who are not mindful of that. It's insensitive, selfish and very harmful.

 

[Samsal112]

I read Rain's post and it is more articulate than anything on this thread. I agree that there is no "us" and "them." We're people who want to commit suicide, that's it. Let's not glorify the term or make ourselves to be something more. Not going to lie, I'm annoyed at seeing all "This place has changed" "There are too many newbies who signed up in December..." I only signed up in December because that's when I found this place. You literally have to Google the name to find it. Yes, I have health problems, but I have been battling a mental illness most of my life. I am fighter. I just fought it, and learned how to cope with it (usually in unhealthy ways). However, saying that those of us with health problems are "pro-life" is absolute bull. If you have been hanging around this site for YEARS, then maybe you're pro-life? I came to the site to get a job done. Most of the newbies are as disappointed as I am that there aren't any method talk. I don't plan on staying here for years; I plan on acquiring information.

I am not sure why anyone would feel unsafe. As someone who has been a member of many groups including Benzobuddies, this site is the most welcoming. However, there was some political talk that really turned me off from one post. It seems silly to be suicidal AND passionate about politics. I don't care, I want to die so why would I be involved with some slimy politician. I made the comment of staying in bed all day, and someone said they would much rather ctb...well yeah! LOL that's the WHOLE point. Other than that odd encounter which sounded like Kai from American Horror Story's Cult, this place has been welcoming.

Please do not misunderstand, I do appreciate everyone here, and this is a welcoming community. But, we really need to analyze what we mean by "pro-life." Just because I have an illness doesn't mean I don't think you don't have a right to end your life. In short, most of the new members I have met are ready to die right now. We don't plan on staying on the site for years, so how can we be "pro-life?" Most people are gone because they ctb...

 

[FuneralCry]

There clearly is anti choice people here. I have seen posts where people invalidate the suffering of others and say things like suicide is only acceptable in certain circumstances. They criticize peoples reasons for ctb and say that is not valid. That is anti choice. This is a pro choice forum where people are supposed to respect others right to die. In my opinion though, I believe if someone says something you are against it is best to ignore or report (depending on what has been said) If someone writes something harmful then it should be taken down. As you said there is a lot of people suffering on here so people should be careful of what they say.
I wish you the best.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

"Lol, no life" in a suicide forum? Good ban.

 

[Samsal112]

There clearly is anti choice people here. I have seen posts where people invalidate the suffering of others and say things like suicide is only acceptable in certain circumstances. They criticize peoples reasons for ctb and say that is not valid. That is anti choice. This is a pro choice forum where people are supposed to respect others right to die. In my opinion though, I believe if someone says something you are against it is best to ignore or report (depending on what has been said) If someone writes something harmful then it should be taken down. As you said there is a lot of people suffering on here so people should be careful of what they say.
I wish you the best.

Then I should apologize, because I did not know that. That is ridiculous to say that someone's reasons are not valid, because that is precisely the reason assisted suicide is either illegal or hard to obtain. I have a health issue but it is not terminal, so therefore I couldn't even get assisted suicide if I lived in a country that allowed it. People who want to ctb without a terminal illness are trail blazers paving the way for questioning whether someone has the right to commit suicide. Forums like these exist not because of those with health issues, but because of those who are bringing light to the different reasons for suicide. I honestly thought I would be the only person on here with health issues and was somewhat reluctant to disclose that information. However, I still stand that we need to be more welcoming to new people. I don't think I am that bad of a member...

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Not feeling safe is part of why I took a break from being here, but now that I came back to see how things were going, I found out how much worse it is now. It honestly feels like I came back just in time to endure a siege.

I will continue to post a bit here and there before my time comes which is likely and hopefully very soon. Until then, I wish everyone the best and I hope everyone finds the peace they seek. Love ya all.

I take it your recovery hasn't gone so well. Last time I knew, you were heading in that direction and I was hoping for the best, even if I didn't know you very well like some other members did. I hope we all find peace as well, whether it's in recovery or not. Good luck to you, wherever you go from here.

There clearly is anti choice people here. I have seen posts where people invalidate the suffering of others and say things like suicide is only acceptable in certain circumstances. They criticize peoples reasons for ctb and say that is not valid. That is anti choice. This is a pro choice forum where people are supposed to respect others right to die.

That always bothered me too. Sure it's always been my opinion that it's a huge mistake for people to do it impulsively when the first sign of trouble comes, just because they're giving up on their chance to get better when it's still a possibility for them, but it's never been my place to try to tell people when it's acceptable to CTB or not to. It's just a sad world we live in where people like us even have to decide these kinds of things.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I read Rain's post and it is more articulate than anything on this thread. I agree that there is no "us" and "them." We're people who want to commit suicide, that's it. Let's not glorify the term or make ourselves to be something more. Not going to lie, I'm annoyed at seeing all "This place has changed" "There are too many newbies who signed up in December..." I only signed up in December because that's when I found this place. You literally have to Google the name to find it. Yes, I have health problems, but I have been battling a mental illness most of my life. I am fighter. I just fought it, and learned how to cope with it (usually in unhealthy ways). However, saying that those of us with health problems are "pro-life" is absolute bull. If you have been hanging around this site for YEARS, then maybe you're pro-life? I came to the site to get a job done. Most of the newbies are as disappointed as I am that there aren't any method talk. I don't plan on staying here for years; I plan on acquiring information.

I am not sure why anyone would feel unsafe. As someone who has been a member of many groups including Benzobuddies, this site is the most welcoming. However, there was some political talk that really turned me off from one post. It seems silly to be suicidal AND passionate about politics. I don't care, I want to die so why would I be involved with some slimy politician. I made the comment of staying in bed all day, and someone said they would much rather ctb...well yeah! LOL that's the WHOLE point. Other than that odd encounter which sounded like Kai from American Horror Story's Cult, this place has been welcoming.

Please do not misunderstand, I do appreciate everyone here, and this is a welcoming community. But, we really need to analyze what we mean by "pro-life." Just because I have an illness doesn't mean I don't think you don't have a right to end your life. In short, most of the new members I have met are ready to die right now. We don't plan on staying on the site for years, so how can we be "pro-life?" Most people are gone because they ctb...

I deeply and humbly apologize if I offended you. I also won't try and justify my words and reactions as that could be seen as patronizing. You do seem like a serious and thoughtful person though so I definitely will give you the benefit of the doubt. Welcome and again, apologies that you had to step into a mess. Not fair that I helped contribute to that.

Not feeling safe is part of why I took a break from being here, but now that I came back to see how things were going, I found out how much worse it is now. It honestly feels like I came back just in time to endure a siege.



I take it your recovery hasn't gone so well. Last time I knew, you were heading in that direction and I was hoping for the best, even if I didn't know you very well like some other members did. I hope we all find peace as well, whether it's in recovery or not. Good luck to you, wherever you go from here.

No, it has not. It was basically an illusory attempt at fooling myself into thinking I could ignore my problems and move on. It seemed to work for a very brief period, but they came raging back twice as strong. But thank you for your kind words. It is greatly appreciated.

 

[little helpers]

some thoughts. or maybe just another rant:

Idk, man. I think I was one of the very first to catch that we're going downhill. becoming just a facebook page. "SS w/o methods = all recovery section" was, at that time, a hot take. it's not one anymore. now it's common consense we've become just a fucking support group, a "wreckage anonymous", a r/suicidality instead of an r/suicide, or worse, plain social media.

in some ways I welcome the change. in part because I'm sorta putting off my end date now. which, ironically, is becuz I'm starting to entertain the thought of "recovery", whatever "recovery" means. I came to this site wanting to know how *not* to screw up my suicide. cuz haha, I screwed up hanging so many times. it carries a high risk to attempt and then fail. physically, mentally, socially. I think the whole point behind SS is just to tell you, *know* if you want it to end once and for all, then when time is up, *do* make it end once and for all. becuz suicide still *is* heavily criminalized - sectioning, institutionalization, conservatorship, the list goes on - our system *does* have a zero tolerance practice towards suicide. hence, SS is another wing of harm reduction, as with safe consumption sites, needle exchanges, bicycle helmets.

so maybe it sucks to see methods discussions all the time, but it's worth it having them. I think the current approach is pretty much fine - method-talk opened for registered members with a certain length of stay and number of posts only, and an alternative Judah created for immediate help browsing methods.

@RainAndSadness definitely hit the nail on its head. it's like this for any hardcore, socially tabooed forum. cycles of change that comes with member loss, and publicity.

but we're under *a lot* of heat. FT26 is literally fucking *mayhem*, especially in a stressful time like this. society's been going backwards at a faster rate than ever. now even Department of motherfucking "Justice" is after us. justice is lost, justice is r*ped, justice is gone.

though it's worth reminding ourselves that lady justice's never been here in the first place. and regardless of all we need to push through their ableist agenda.

 

[Noctis]

Newsflash: There is no "us". There is not even any "them". People who possibly want to die soon do not create a very homogeneous group in any sense. Most of the users of this forum most likely have worse than average health problems, that's pretty much it.

Any person with half a brain understands that they are going to die one day and that the society around you doesn't really give a fuck how painfully that happens. Any person who understands this prepares for all alternatives. That's really the only motive needed for one to search for a place like this forum.

Now to actively post in a place like this forum, you just need to have no life.

EDIT: Just speaking from experience, don't get all mad

Communities are built by people who share common ideas or goals. We all share one common belief that maybe life isn't all that great and there should be easy ways to gracefully exit. That's pretty hard to find outside this forum.

If there can be large and numerous communities based on what colors to wear while you watch athletes throw around a ball, then there's no reason to believe this isn't a community. If someone who is completely lacking in physical capability can say "WE have a good chance of winning the cup this year," then why shouldn't we see ourselves as an "us"?

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I hate this so much. I just discovered this website not so long ago and I like so many of the members here (even some of the more argumentative ones), and then that NYT thing happens and people start jumping ship. I hate it. I finally find a place where I can speak with my suicidality front and center rather than hidden and stowed away, and its collapsing.

I love you guys.

 

[Blue_mist]

I hate this so much. I just discovered this website not so long ago and I like so many of the members here (even some of the more argumentative ones), and then that NYT thing happens and people start jumping ship. I hate it. I finally find a place where I can speak with my suicidality front and center rather than hidden and stowed away, and its collapsing.

I love you guys.

What about telegram group, Do you think it would be a good idea?

 

[Foresight]

I disagree that there is no conversation going on between opposing views, aka a "us vs them" situation. SS is part of the right to die/death with dignity/assisted death conversation, which is very much so a bigger discussion. There's a reason we're here and not on reddit anymore. This is about more than 1 individual looking for methods and that's it, we're representatives whether you want to be or not. You post your perspective for anyone to read, and many people feel you don't have the right to take your life, you have no right to discuss it, and you should be hospitalized against your will. They want this site censored or banned. Others believe you not only have the right to die, but you have the right to access a comfortable and guarenteed death. The existence of this site stirs that conversation.

I've seen no infiltrators on this site. After browsing recently I don't see any pro life comments. What I do see is people tiptoeing around frank subjects. It should be a place of honest, frank evaluation and expression while we explore our choice here. The mods did the right thing with how it's set up now, but we need to stand firmly that our perspective is valid in the larger scheme. Platitudes and any anti choice sentiment should be resisted, as it always was.