blank_slab
Crazy crazed person
- May 17, 2023
- 105
hey been a hot minute since I've posted but while I was gone one new big thing happened I got a partner someone who seems to love me and I do feel happiness more often now but whenever I dont feel these bursts of joy I often wonder if I'm just going to mess this up and if I do decide I can't take life anymore what will I do because I'm scared to hurt them because I want them to be happy no matter what I'm writing this late at night for me so my thoughts are kinda scrambled I'm running of two dr peppers right now but the long story short is that I'm excited to feel loved but I'm scared I don't deserve this and I'm worried I'm going to mess it up but if I do mess this up will I even feel bad because as I've posted about before I sometimes don't feel for things some others might I think im screwed up in the head but anyway again I'm just scared of what the future has in store for me because I don't want to mess this up this is the only thing I have going in my life right now anyway yeah sorry for the long read I hope no one wastes their time trying to piece together my scrambled thoughts