Venting I started writing a note

[cemetorium]

As stated in the title, I started writing a suicide note. Haven't written much yet as I'm not sure what to even put in it, but I'll get there. Unless I get too impulsive.

After 10 years of being suicidal and several previous attempts, I'm done. I don't think it'll be long until I ctb now. Haven't decided on a method yet, but I have a few in mind.

One of the many things leading to this decision is that while I recently passed 1 year sober (alcohol), I can feel myself getting closer and closer to relapsing. Relapsing is a sure-fire way to make me pull the trigger sooner rather than later, so I can barely be bothered to care about possible consequences from starting to drink again. Turns out that stopping drinking did not stop me being suicidal and depressed.

Whatever. Sorry for the ramble. Maybe I'll make a thread when I go through with it, maybe not. If I survive I'll most definitely be hospitalized, which sounds like a pain, but what can you do.

 

[darksouls]

good luck
hope everything goes well for you
and you find relief from your suffering

 

[SadLoser]

1 year without alcohol is very impressive, you're certainly stronger than me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling done with existing, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[Alexandra_]

I'm sorry you're going through such pain. The world is a cruel place no matter how you look at it. In a suicide note you can write the reason that makes you cross the line and what should be done with your body after death, I think these 2 things are the most important. But it's up to you. In any case, I wish you all the best

 

[Linda]

As stated in the title, I started writing a suicide note. Haven't written much yet as I'm not sure what to even put in it, but I'll get there. Unless I get too impulsive.

After 10 years of being suicidal and several previous attempts, I'm done. I don't think it'll be long until I ctb now. Haven't decided on a method yet, but I have a few in mind.

One of the many things leading to this decision is that while I recently passed 1 year sober (alcohol), I can feel myself getting closer and closer to relapsing. Relapsing is a sure-fire way to make me pull the trigger sooner rather than later, so I can barely be bothered to care about possible consequences from starting to drink again. Turns out that stopping drinking did not stop me being suicidal and depressed.

Whatever. Sorry for the ramble. Maybe I'll make a thread when I go through with it, maybe not. If I survive I'll most definitely be hospitalized, which sounds like a pain, but what can you do.

If you have been off alcohol for a year, you can stay off it forever. And I would advise you most strongly to do so. I have seen too much of what alcohol can do to people. DON'T start drinking again.

Your first step, if you are serious about catching the bus, is to decide on a method. You would need to plan it properly. That, in turn, depeding on what method you choose, may impose a minimum timescale. Then you can finish your note.

Impulsive suicide is rarely a good idea. I suggest that either you plan your departure carefully and thoroughly, or you don't do it at all.