I simply don't want to do any of this

[UmbraDweller]

Things are not even that bad. I feel neutral right now. But it's no question of how much pain I'm in or what problems I got to put as proof of me deserving peace. It's about having no desires and not wanting anything from life for me. I've felt it for long time. Not necessarily in depressive nor negative way. I just refuse life, with all politeness. Thank you, but no.

If I don't enjoy the game, I won't play it. Not even mentioning I've been forced to play this one. I've experienced enough already to find out I prefer eternal sleep in nothing.

Sleep and doing nothing is what I always desired the most after jobs and schools anyways. Meanwhile everyone around keeps saying how I should achieve things which I don't even care about. Spending time on things I don't want to do. And that's the majority of average life for a fact. Either working, preparing for work, maintaining the body, and then having some free time to distract yourself with something you might enjoy.

I don't enjoy anything though. And I don't dream of labour. There's no "dream job" I want to have, it's all just slavery with extra steps. What I truly dream of is ultimate freedom from existing, for simple reason, I don't want it. Being dead is just better.

 

[anonymous_]

I overdosed on purpose 8 days ago on heroin\fet and benzo's for the 6th time in under 2 years. I am not addicted to drugs nor do i use these substances on a regular basis. I kept getting brought back every time. Hobbies help but in the end, all thats left is suffering with our own mental illness or whatever your personal case might be. I do not enjoy life, I am not happy. I love everyone i know, but if i told anyone this they would surely try to persuade me into doing something selfish for their own sake. Do what you feel is right, there is no right or wrong. Only what we see as necessary in our current circumstance. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you do.

 

[derpyderpins]

Things are not even that bad. I feel neutral right now. But it's no question of how much pain I'm in or what problems I got to put as proof of me deserving peace. It's about having no desires and not wanting anything from life for me. I've felt it for long time. Not necessarily in depressive nor negative way. I just refuse life, with all politeness. Thank you, but no.

If I don't enjoy the game, I won't play it. Not even mentioning I've been forced to play this one. I've experienced enough already to find out I prefer eternal sleep in nothing.

Sleep and doing nothing is what I always desired the most after jobs and schools anyways. Meanwhile everyone around keeps saying how I should achieve things which I don't even care about. Spending time on things I don't want to do. And that's the majority of average life for a fact. Either working, preparing for work, maintaining the body, and then having some free time to distract yourself with something you might enjoy.

I don't enjoy anything though. And I don't dream of labour. There's no "dream job" I want to have, it's all just slavery with extra steps. What I truly dream of is ultimate freedom from existing, for simple reason, I don't want it. Being dead is just better.

I feel this deeply. Average just isn't good enough. Even a bit above. What's the difference between far above average and far below average? Both slave away and one gets a slightly nicer house. Every aspect of life dull in either case. No magic.

 

[fadedroses]

I can imagine not having to work anymore, no drama, no worries just eternal bliss of nothingness seems nice.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, I hear you. I am going to have to make an attempt this year. I don't want anymore false hope scenarios to deal with.