I showered today

[arcadia]

It's pretty disgusting, and I'm not proud of this but uh
I managed to shower for the first time in a few months today. I haven't been eating properly or looking after myself, and so this is hopefully one of those steps that'll help. I had to force myself to do it, and I'll probably fall out of routine and end up like I always do once again. I don't really feel any better. But even though I stay indoors, smelling awful can be bothersome for people other than yourself you know, and I felt quite bad for making others uncomfortable. The other people being my family whenever they come into my room lol.

 

[qwerty1969]

It's not as unusual as you may think. I struggle to shower too.

 

[Pluto]

When I was younger, my record was 6 months without showering. Living with my abusive family, all of my functioning collapsed. And of course, then I got abused for that too.

 

[Homo erectus]

Is it dangerous to have a shower after a long time not having one? I have heard that it might trigger strong immune response in some people.

 

[downndone2]

I struggle with it and usually shower once a week. I start new full tike job tomorrow and am going to have tonpush myself to shower daily... of course I've been saying that for a week :-(

 

[Unattainable666]

It's pretty disgusting, and I'm not proud of this but uh
I managed to shower for the first time in a few months today. I haven't been eating properly or looking after myself, and so this is hopefully one of those steps that'll help. I had to force myself to do it, and I'll probably fall out of routine and end up like I always do once again. I don't really feel any better. But even though I stay indoors, smelling awful can be bothersome for people other than yourself you know, and I felt quite bad for making others uncomfortable. The other people being my family whenever they come into my room lol.

Some days that's all you can do. You should be proud of yourself. I've gone a long time when my depression is really bad. It's kind of like who gives a shit?

 

[sparkle]

Me too, although it's only been a few days.

Is it dangerous to have a shower after a long time not having one? I have heard that it might trigger strong immune response in some people.

I don't know if it's an immune response but I get so itchy all over every time I shower, it's like being coated in bleach for an hour. But it does feel good to be clean.

 

[Madanascar]

Struggle with this too. Self care is important

 

[mypersonalhell]

Nice job OP, I saw your other thread about leaving your house after 4 months as well. Good to see you are making steady progress in leaving the hikikomori lifestyle.

 

[ThrowedAway]

It's pretty disgusting, and I'm not proud of this but uh
I managed to shower for the first time in a few months today. I haven't been eating properly or looking after myself, and so this is hopefully one of those steps that'll help. I had to force myself to do it, and I'll probably fall out of routine and end up like I always do once again. I don't really feel any better. But even though I stay indoors, smelling awful can be bothersome for people other than yourself you know, and I felt quite bad for making others uncomfortable. The other people being my family whenever they come into my room lol.

First of all, this is quite more common than you might think for depressed people that don't have much motivation. Second of all this is a great thing and you should be extremely proud of yourself for it. Don't just brush it off. This is a huge achievement!

 

[white_bear]

It requires a lot of energy to shower, so I don't blame you. Im happy for you! Try getting some nice smelling soaps and fun products so u can get more motivated and hopefully get back in routine! That's helped me a lot.

 

[altoids]

Is it dangerous to have a shower after a long time not having one? I have heard that it might trigger strong immune response in some people.

I'm not an expert but I don't see any reason there'd be a risk, except maybe for some seriously immunocompromised people. The body is pretty prepared to deal with infrequent chances to wash, and much worse than that. Easy access to clean hot water has only been a thing for a tiny sliver of our history. Let alone sewage treatment.

 

[borderline-feline]

You've been more productive than me, if that means anything. The last time I took a shower was the last day of January since I had a surgery that day. Before the 30th, I can't even remember how long it had been, probably since June.

 

[jamie_]

I went through similar back in December too. Good job on going outside, you are doing better than me on that front :) https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-felt-the-worse-i-have-been-in-months.104890/

I am not alive anymore. I simply distract myself from remembering that I am. That is why I can't do things like shower. In the shower I cannot distract myself and I immediately feel the pain of remembering things. I can not do and actively avoid anything where I have moments to think (shower, workout, walk, chores, or learn because literally anything that isn't distracting myself on my laptop) because if I do I immediately feel pain. I have to look at a screen until I pass out at night as I can not last 5 minutes allowing myself to think.