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I've been in a real shit hole recently, and every day for these past years has been filled with suicide. Venting makes me feel more so like shit, it's hard to act happy in front of everyone, and I feel empty... I've been thinking of CTB during this summer. I need a rope, and maybe a tree... Regrets are what is keeping me here.
Reactions:
charlotte_, Praestat_Mori and Forever Sleep
I was in a relationship before, which brought me out of it for a bit, but after it, it got worse. I also regret all the things I've said to others, the personality of myself of which I've forced upon them... I'm not trying to achieve anything, but... I don't know...
You don't have to act happy in front of anyone and if you want to complete ctb bu hanging that's up to you and I wish you all the best. I always see things like this most people I was "friends" with they told me their secrets and vice Verca too I guess when you are close to "people" it's normal to share these that if they decide to use that to hurt you well that's on them. Me personally I only have one person I will take "revenge" on the main culprit. His life will never be the same considering how he used to describe his "wife's temper" there is going to be some "arguments" at least and oh boy I would like to be the fly on the wall ā¦..
My only regret is not doing sooner and once I'm done I will complete ctb. When things said in the dark comes to light things will never be the same. I know this and I can't attest to this, when you let people walk all over you they will come back again and even hurt you more, bad people rarely changes they just hide their sinister intentions better.
Good luck with any decision that you decide to do from now on.
When it comes to CTB you can only regret sth what you expected for your future that could have happend if you didn't ctb. But nothing what happend in the past, that can't be changed any more. I wish you all the best!
I was in a relationship before, which brought me out of it for a bit, but after it, it got worse. I also regret all the things I've said to others, the personality of myself of which I've forced upon them... I'm not trying to achieve anything, but... I don't know...
I guess you could try and apologize and make amends with them- although maybe they might find that suspicious if they know you are depressed/ have ideation.
The reality is that after all, death will erase everything for us someday no matter what and the non-existent won't be able to regret and mourn for the existence that they once had. Existence certainly is impermanent after all but it must be hard dealing with those regrets as you are still trapped here, existing certainly is so torturous. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.
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