I resent my family for raising me to believe in everything happens for a reason because I don't know how to cope with life

[FireFox]

In adulthood I finally resent my religious family for raising me to believe in everything happens for a reason and not teaching me how to properly deal with things going wrong. I have zero coping skills when rejection happens or anything going wrong. This entire year my family keep telling me all the difficulties I have faced this year that is for a "reason" and parts of "God's Plan". It makes me so fucking angry whenever I hear them say that pharse.

I am a very tolerant and fair person if people want to believe in " everything happens for a reason" then fine but do not force me to believe and accept in everything happens for a reason whenever things go wrong. Life is too complex to narrow every bad event with a simplicitic "pharse of everything happens for a reason". Not everything has a cause or part of a bigger divine plan. We will never understand why an innocent 9 year old kid gets terminal cancer while some human beings are pure evil like Putin and allowed to live for so many years inflicting suffering to other people and the world.

When it comes to families will never understand why some people get born into awesome families with loving relatives who help them and others like myself end up getting selfish piece of shit user relatives who love living off other relatives money and goodwill while treating the relatives who help them like absolute shit and having the audacity to demand money. I am from an Immigrant family and in my family's culture it is very common my family members send money aboard to help relatives overseas. I wouldn't have a problem if my relatives were not such supreme abusive ungrateful arseholes.

This has been the worst year ever for me with nothing going rightand my family tell me all the things that I am going through is "part of God's Plan" and God has "something better for me" which is why "everything went wrong for me this year" A good God would have protected me from all the problems I have received this year and not allowed all this bullsh-t to happen to me A good God would have given me better relatives, I finally my relatives and ashamed of these are my relatives.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I think it's just desperate wishful thinking that everything will be ok in the end type of thing. I guess people say it to themselves to not get bogged down by all the shitty things that happen to them. Maybe that part is for a good reason. When we get crushed by things for a prolonged period, we aren't recovering. One of the greatest pieces of advice I got was that: 'Failure isn't when you fall because, everybody falls. It's when you don't get back up again.' I think that one's much more realistic. It doesn't promise you that your next attempt will work either! It doesn't turn it into some supernatural game where God will finally reward you. It's really just about probability. If you don't try, you won't have any hope of succeeding. That said- I think it's also important to mourn your losses to an extent. Keep white washing over feelings of hurt and disappointment and I reckon one day it just all comes bursting out.

 

[Heem wasnt there]

I hate this mentality so much. I also come from a religious upbringing and have been told that all my struggles are just part of "god's plan". It seems like cognitive dissonance to cope with the fact that their "benevolent" god allows bad to happen. Not everything happens for a reason. Our very existence is a cosmic hiccup, not something divinely planned. I'm sorry you're going through this, I know how frustrating it can be.