I remembered the feeling that I miss

[Sadbanana]

Back when I was a kid life felt different. There was this feeling of endless possibilities. You know when you start paying a game and you see the huge fog of war map and are excited for the future.

Most things in life now feel repetitive, boring. There is nothing actually exciting that would get me out of rigid patterns. I know how my life is probably going to go, and most things that surprise me nowadays are just bad news.

I hate how limited is my mind and this horrible world we live in. Everything is so small. I'm only 24, but I'm no longer excited about anything that will happen in my life (except for death that is). I know the best is already long behind me. I feel like I'm trapped in my skin, like I can't breathe and my soul is slowly dying inside this future corpse.

Is this reality a prison for souls?

 

[kxrenlx]

I get what you mean. Though that feeling of nostalgia won't ever leave you. It's just a drug that will make you envision the past as happier than it ever really was. If you can't end up changing your tune and want to be back there there really only is one way out.

 

[FF777]

good analogy.. start of a game i'm thinking "this is awesome, i'm going to max every thing out possible", but then 75% through the game it's like "meh, this is just a grind now to max out the remaining stuff"..

one thing i learned after lots of years is that no one actually knows what the heck they are doing.. some people call it the "competency crisis"..... when you are young you expect that people running businesses and the governments etc actually know what they are doing, but they don't..... and i wish i knew a long time ago that a job called "business consultant" existed... it's where you get hired by a company and spend weeks (or months maybe) learning the company and then you start making suggestions to them on how they can improve things and make things more efficient.. it drives me crazy how i go to so many stores and places and i'm thinking "is any one even managing this place??".. they have broken signs, or inefficient systems etc, and it drives me crazy.. it makes me feel like i should be in charge of every thing..

and yeah, there isn't really any thing new and amazing to discover too much after a certain point.. we can explore space more, or explore the deep ocean more, or try to keep technologically advancing things and inventing new things or systems i guess.. but it sure doesn't help that every one in the world is playing king of the hill and not actually caring about the normal people or having people work together to solve humanities real problems.. and so that's why i tell people we are still in a type of dark age in my opinion.. it's like if you look at the big picture of what is going on on this planet it's like..... what the heck are we doing??

but any way, enough of my ranting.. for your problems i dunno.. i'd probably just try to hang out with friends more and/or play games.. or if you don't have many friends you could play online games i guess and some times you meet new friends on stuff like that.. i dunno what computers or systems you have but Luanti (used to be called Minetest) is kind of a fun free and open-source game where you can maybe meet some random people.. but i'm not really a good person to ask which social/online games are good these days..

but also i'll say, my soul feels tired of being here too.. every one hates getting old but i promise i hate it more than the average person does.. when i was a teenager i didn't want to live past age 30... i'm 44 now and i feel like an old grandpa now (and i have a couple really bad conditions with out cures).. my friends and family are all gone (mom died 1.5 years ago), and so i'm just tired and there is no point for me to be here any more.. i believe in spirit world so i'm not scared of death.. and so i'm probably going to CTB here soon probably in approximately a week from now..

i hope you can find some purpose or meaning or projects to work on in your life..

 

[LongJacks]

Back when I was a kid life felt different. There was this feeling of endless possibilities. You know when you start paying a game and you see the huge fog of war map and are excited for the future.

Most things in life now feel repetitive, boring. There is nothing actually exciting that would get me out of rigid patterns. I know how my life is probably going to go, and most things that surprise me nowadays are just bad news.

I hate how limited is my mind and this horrible world we live in. Everything is so small. I'm only 24, but I'm no longer excited about anything that will happen in my life (except for death that is). I know the best is already long behind me. I feel like I'm trapped in my skin, like I can't breathe and my soul is slowly dying inside this future corpse.

Is this reality a prison for souls?

Same it hurts reading your message because that's what I say to myself daily... why were things so exciting and nice, being innocent not knowing what tomorrow holds or dive deep into a video game or collect tcg... it's torture my friend... you can never go back and it hurts...

 

[yotaka]

Back when I was a kid life felt different. There was this feeling of endless possibilities. You know when you start paying a game and you see the huge fog of war map and are excited for the future.

Most things in life now feel repetitive, boring. There is nothing actually exciting that would get me out of rigid patterns. I know how my life is probably going to go, and most things that surprise me nowadays are just bad news.

I hate how limited is my mind and this horrible world we live in. Everything is so small. I'm only 24, but I'm no longer excited about anything that will happen in my life (except for death that is). I know the best is already long behind me. I feel like I'm trapped in my skin, like I can't breathe and my soul is slowly dying inside this future corpse.

Is this reality a prison for souls?

I really like how you articulated this. I miss the wonder and possibility of childhood.