SadCryingBunny
Specialist
- Apr 10, 2025
- 311
I am in a lot of pain and depression as a result of my teen self harm scars, I just do not want to continue living. The only reason I sometimes have a will to continue with this hell existence is my hopes of just spending a few more years to experience future games and newly released current titles like Subnautica 2, AC Black Flag Resynced etc in my room and Scuba Diving when the weather is good. Other than that, my situation isn't improving and I want to die. I am on 25mg Fluvoxamine anti depressant daily and am on partial disability payments due to my very severe mental health. I drive Uber Eats casually when I need extra money and am unable to work 99% of other jobs. I find the medication to be pretty useless although it has somewhat reduced the intensity/frequency of my suicidal thoughts to go through with my plan at times. I don't like that as I want to be my real self and the real me wants to die. If it wasn't for my fear of an autopsy, I would have already killed myself in an instant during my many previous depressive episodes in my room. I have my Nitrogen setup completely ready and I am buying a Jet Ski soon once I organise the money. I will drive several hundred km away and ride it a further few hundred km to scout for a hidden remote spot. This is the only way I can avoid being found and autopsied for a very long time until I decompose and become a skeleton. The police will have no damn idea where the fuck I am at. I will not be carrying any device that has been linked to my identity such as a phone with SIM, only a road & marine GPS not linked to any account sign in. I will carry extra fuel on the ski of course. If I find the spot on my first day out, I'll anchor the jet ski securely to a padlock timer that will unlock and release the rope attached to the anchor after a couple hours which will be after I am long gone in order for the Jet Ski to be swept away to not reveal my nearby location. I will swim the 100m distance using my freedive fins to my spot after anchoring. I will be wearing a Sharkshield as I am very concerned about Great Whites in those remote locations. I will have some food in a waterproof case, drink, my 9L nitrogen tank on my back attached to my wing BCD with my scuba regulator attached with extended hose. I will die wearing my 5mm custom smooth skin open cell wetsuit in the photo which is very stretchy and comfortable while wearing a Kevlar shark suit over my wetsuit with chainmail socks, gloves and hood to stop any birds or creatures biting my flesh when I am deceased. I will have my drivers license in a bottle hanging from my neck that says "READ" on the outside with a note stating this is a planned suicide via plastic bag and gas. I have my nitrogen gas in a 9L scuba bottle with the hose attached firmly and securely to my chainmail ring hood releasing the gas slightly above my head on my right side next to my ear. All I need to do after eating my final food & saying my final prayers 
to the higher power (I hope it exists) is to overdose on Zolpidem sleeping pills, put on the hood when I start to feel very sleepy, turn on the gas to the pre high set airflow and quickly put on my restraints. Otherwise I can set it up to switch from air to nitrogen so I can die while sleeping but it's a more complex setup and I am worried of something maybe going wrong and I like the thought of knowing I will die immediately instead of in my sleep. Now please answer me, how likely am I to be found or at least how soon? Can you recommend me any other medication or setup improvement etc? What are your thoughts on this whole plan? I am terrified of an autopsy on my fresh deceased corpse and I can not accept the risk or thought of it at all. NO WAY. If I am found after 1 year give or take, I don't mind an autopsy as I will mostly have been skeletonised and I don't care about them observing my skeleton body as there is nothing to cut open. All my organs and skin would've decomposed mostly naturally besides the small insects as birds or other nearby crabs etc can't penetrate to my skin due to the shark Kevlar like suit & chainmail.
to the higher power (I hope it exists) is to overdose on Zolpidem sleeping pills, put on the hood when I start to feel very sleepy, turn on the gas to the pre high set airflow and quickly put on my restraints. Otherwise I can set it up to switch from air to nitrogen so I can die while sleeping but it's a more complex setup and I am worried of something maybe going wrong and I like the thought of knowing I will die immediately instead of in my sleep. Now please answer me, how likely am I to be found or at least how soon? Can you recommend me any other medication or setup improvement etc? What are your thoughts on this whole plan? I am terrified of an autopsy on my fresh deceased corpse and I can not accept the risk or thought of it at all. NO WAY. If I am found after 1 year give or take, I don't mind an autopsy as I will mostly have been skeletonised and I don't care about them observing my skeleton body as there is nothing to cut open. All my organs and skin would've decomposed mostly naturally besides the small insects as birds or other nearby crabs etc can't penetrate to my skin due to the shark Kevlar like suit & chainmail.
