Venting i really just want to end it all

[HappySisyphus]

im just so fucking tired every single day i feel terrible and want to kill myself its been so long since last time I actually had a good day without feeling like shit, my friends suck and everyone new i try to talk to just leaves or gets bored of me and im sure my current friends would do the same if we werent in the same class
i know killing myself is a shitty thing to do to my family which are the only people who honestly care about me but i just want to end everything so fucking bad i cant just stay alive for other while suffering this much every single day but killing myself just seems so hard and requires so much effort besided thinking that im too much of a pussy to do it
i just hate being alive so much and there is only so much i can repress that feeling with sex alcohol or ocasionally drugs and none of them are any kind of permanent solutions to any of my problems while killing myself would fix everything

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult especially as we exist in such an anti-suicide society where suicide is purposely made inacessible so I don't think that one is cowardly if they struggle to go through with ctb.
But anyway it's really understandable just wishing to permanently escape from this existence, I get that it's dreadful feeling trapped in an existence you hate, it should be much more straightforward to be free.

 

[hindsight_free]

Suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult especially as we exist in such an anti-suicide society where suicide is purposely made inacessible so I don't think that one is cowardly if they struggle to go through with ctb.
But anyway it's really understandable just wishing to permanently escape from this existence, I get that it's dreadful feeling trapped in an existence you hate, it should be much more straightforward to be free.

I agree with you. Since there wasn't a consensus about how and when I was to be born and introduced to society, they have zero say in my exit.