I ordered rope!

[IwanttodieASAP]

I bought 10.5 mm static rope off Amazon today so I can do full suspension. I cannot drive becuase ny last ctb attempt ending with me flipping my car and getting a DUI. I had to have it shipped to one of those Amazon locker things near my house do my family won't pick it up. I'll have ro walk there, bur it will be worth it.

I feel excited honestly to finally have a way to escape. I'm scared this feeling will go away when it arrives but I really hope I'm strong enough this time.

I have a lot of woods behind my house, so I guess I'll end up setting it up there. I feel bad about going right before Christmas but don't get me started on that. All I'll say is, I don't get why people always shame you for wanting to go saying you only care about yourself. My response would be, so, I have to live my entire life in this hell and pain, just so you don't have to experience my loss? That sure sreems to be all about you.


Anyway , I'm happy I finally ordered the rope. It comes Tuesday. I hope to do it soon after

 

[FuneralCry]

It's true that grief, loss and death are simply an inevitable part of life and nobody should feel as though they have to suffer only for the sake of others. Of course existing is a choice and not an obligation, and the choice to leave this world should be respected. Those who are not suicidal themselves would never really be able to understand as they are not living our lives, so it's best not to discuss the subject of suicide with them. I do understand why you would feel relieved at being able to get the rope, I so envy those with the courage for hanging. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.