Help I need to start working on my ctb plan

[donewithlife1]

I'm exploring the resources I have tonight to decide how/where to ctb. I'm done with this nonsense called "life" I even see it as dark place I'm not enjoying anything anymore.. it's time to put my things together.. any tips ? USA

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Only you can decide. I'm jumping.

 

[donewithlife1]

Only you can decide. I'm jumping.

River or building?

 

[King Ashoka]

I am going to hang from ceiling.

 

[donewithlife1]

I am going to hang from ceiling.

I thought about that too but im scared for the people who's gonna find me im not scared to die at all I honestly can't wait

 

[King Ashoka]

I thought about that too but im scared for the people who's gonna find me im not scared to die at all I honestly can't wait

Yes it is scary. For two years i planned to kill myself 2000 kilometers away from home in other state in a deep forest. I booked the train tickets five times. I packed my bags. I told everyone that i am going for mountain hiking. But when the time come, i can never take the train.

Then finally i realized that it was good thing that i didn't killed myself in other state. Otherwise my family would have to spend too much money while trying to know what happened to me, how to recover my body. It would have destroyed my family.

At least if i die at home, they would weep and feel sad. But they don't have to suffer years in waiting pondering what happened to me, am i lost in wood, or kidnapped, or anything.

To have the body at home would give them peace at last.


Why do you want to die ?

 

[Lookoutbelow]

River or building?

Building.

 

[donewithlife1]

Yes it is scary. For two years i planned to kill myself 2000 kilometers away from home in other state in a deep forest. I booked the train tickets five times. I packed my bags. I told everyone that i am going for mountain hiking. But when the time come, i can never take the train.

Then finally i realized that it was good thing that i didn't killed myself in other state. Otherwise my family would have to spend too much money while trying to know what happened to me, how to recover my body. It would have destroyed my family.

At least if i die at home, they would weep and feel sad. But they don't have to suffer years in waiting pondering what happened to me, am i lost in wood, or kidnapped, or anything.

To have the body at home would give them peace at last.


Why do you want to die ?

Yes it is scary. For two years i planned to kill myself 2000 kilometers away from home in other state in a deep forest. I booked the train tickets five times. I packed my bags. I told everyone that i am going for mountain hiking. But when the time come, i can never take the train.

Then finally i realized that it was good thing that i didn't killed myself in other state. Otherwise my family would have to spend too much money while trying to know what happened to me, how to recover my body. It would have destroyed my family.

At least if i die at home, they would weep and feel sad. But they don't have to suffer years in waiting pondering what happened to me, am i lost in wood, or kidnapped, or anything.

To have the body at home would give them peace at last.


Why do you want to die ?

I lived and still living the most horror painful trauma: I lost my gorgeous teenager son to suicide and since then I have no life from feeling guilty to a million questions no answers no closure, the only thing I can do is to end my life no way around it

Building

Good luck with that!

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I lived and still living the most horror painful trauma: I lost my gorgeous teenager son to suicide and since then I have no life from feeling guilty to a million questions no answers no closure, the only thing I can do is to end my life no way around it

Good luck with that!

Thanks, I'll need it.

 

[beboleaf]

I think about fsh or taking a depressant drug with alcohol.

 

[King Ashoka]

I lived and still living the most horror painful trauma: I lost my gorgeous teenager son to suicide and since then I have no life from feeling guilty to a million questions no answers no closure, the only thing I can do is to end my life no way around it

Good luck with that!

I am sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine the pain you feel. It was not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. I know words do not heal wounds.

After reading this, i am thinking about my parents. What would they do if i die today. Would they blame themselves.

 

[donewithlife1]

I am sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine the pain you feel. It was not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. I know words do not heal wounds.

After reading this, i am thinking about my parents. What would they do if i die today. Would they blame themselves.

Thank you! They will it's hard it's basically will kill them too. I feel that I died with my son I just didn't have funeral. That's why we can't be selfish sometimes we do things or stay for our loved ones. I know my son wasn't selfish and I k is yours not either but the pain left behind the grief is like no other pain I never my whole life thought this will happen to our family and it did and now everything is dark everything is ugly I'm a different person what I become is not what I want to be so to die is more peace for me.

 

[King Ashoka]

Thank you! They will it's hard it's basically will kill them too. I feel that I died with my son I just didn't have funeral. That's why we can't be selfish sometimes we do things or stay for our loved ones. I know my son wasn't selfish and I k is yours not either but the pain left behind the grief is like no other pain I never my whole life thought this will happen to our family and it did and now everything is dark everything is ugly I'm a different person what I become is not what I want to be so to die is more peace for me.

I accept that i am selfish. I want to die because i am too bored with life. I am not excited about anything. My childhood dream was shattered to pieces by circumstances. Now i am dream less.

Because of you , i am thinking about my parents. I am reconsidering about death. Thanks.

 

[donewithlife1]

I accept that i am selfish. I want to die because i am too bored with life. I am not excited about anything. My childhood dream was shattered to pieces by circumstances. Now i am dream less.

Because of you , i am thinking about my parents. I am reconsidering about death. Thanks.

I don't think life will stay bored trust me I was so suicidal when I was 18 and I thought life was very bored but then something clicked. I lived some happy years I can't lie so give it a try see other options I'm sure your parents love you so much give them a chance and give yourself a chance.. I'm here if you wanna talk

 

[King Ashoka]

I don't think life will stay bored trust me I was so suicidal when I was 18 and I thought life was very bored but then something clicked. I lived some happy years I can't lie so give it a try see other options I'm sure your parents love you so much give them a chance and give yourself a chance.. I'm here if you wanna talk

Yes it is true that my parents love me. But i am 33 years old. Not married. No children. I lost my enthusiasm for life when i was 25. I am from India. Here it is very common for children to live with parents.

I was a good scholar. I am a post graduate with distinction. My golden period was 10 years ago. Now taking bath everyday is like climbing Mount Everest. I was not always like this. I have seen good years.

My parents keeps pressuring me to get married. But i know my depression. I can't make my wife suffer from my weakness.

 

[donewithlife1]

Yes it is true that my parents love me. But i am 33 years old. Not married. No children. I lost my enthusiasm for life when i was 25. I am from India. Here it is very common for children to live with parents.

I was a good scholar. I am a post graduate with distinction. My golden period was 10 years ago. Now taking bath everyday is like climbing Mount Everest. I was not always like this. I have seen good years.

My parents keeps pressuring me to get married. But i know my depression. I can't make my wife suffer from my weakness.

So you're trying to ctb because of your parents pressure or because of depression itself?

 

[King Ashoka]

So you're trying to ctb because of your parents pressure or because of depression itself?

Only because of my depression. I don't see any meaning in life. Everything look meaningless and unimportant.

 

[donewithlife1]

Only because of my depression. I don't see any meaning in life. Everything look meaningless and unimportant.

I'm sorry that you feel that way! Depression is like a bad guy you either kill him or he will kill you

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, existence is just too cruel, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[donewithlife1]

It's certainly understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, existence is just too cruel, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

Thank you so much! I hope so too