Venting I need to get well fast.

[UnnervedCompany]

My depression is an absolute pain and its making me isolate from all human contact. I promised my friends I will go back to talking by November 30 but how each day seems worse than the last for my mental I am not sure if I can get better by then. A physician I talked to wanted me to get into medication but I said HELL NO mostly cause I know I can do this without their drugs. Drugs will just make things worse in the long run I believe. Now I don't even want to take counselling just cause I am afraid to talk to people about my issues. Everything is just a spiral downstream and my mom who is the only person I do talk to seemed irritated by me so I might block all contact from her as well soon. I wish there was a magic button to press or something.

 

[-Link-]

A physician I talked to wanted me to get into medication but I said HELL NO mostly cause I know I can do this without their drugs. Drugs will just make things worse in the long run I believe.

Have you ever tried medication? Many people do report significant improvements after figuring out a working medication regimen, although this can take a lot of trial and error.

Now I don't even want to take counselling just cause I am afraid to talk to people about my issues.

What's causing this fear of opening up to professionals? Have you had prior bad experiences, or...? Have you been through any treatment programs in the past?

If medication and therapy are plainly not options right now, there are still a few other things you could look at. One is online self-guided therapy programs. You mentioned in another thread about self-hatred being a problem for you, and here you've mentioned depression. So, you could go to Google and search for self-guided treatment programs to address depression symptoms and underlying self-hatred.

Also, I've heard a lot of positive feedback from people about using ChatGPT as a therapist. Overwhelmingly positive feedback and very little in the way of negative feedback, actually. (I've never tried it, myself.)

Doing this without the guidance and accountability that a professional can provide would mean you'd need a lot of self-discipline to take a real shot at it this way.

You could also see if there are any local peer support groups running. For these, you might find them on Google, or otherwise check with local mental health clinics. Some of these groups are for drop-ins and run without the need for referrals or scheduling or any conjunctive treatments at all and thus would require no commitments on your part. (But this depends on local availability and accessibility.)

 

[UnnervedCompany]

Have you ever tried medication?

I will never try medication due to me having a very strong detestation against things that can alter your senses or control of your own mind.

I know most of my self-hatred comes from internalized homophobia and parents who would make my entire merit based on my accomplishments. I will try to find ways to help myself.

Thank you Canadian Link.

 

[Leiot]

I will never try medication due to me having a very strong detestation against things that can alter your senses or control of your own mind.

I know most of my self-hatred comes from internalized homophobia and parents who would make my entire merit based on my accomplishments. I will try to find ways to help myself.

Thank you Canadian Link.

That's kinda the irony - the reason we take psych meds is to alter the control of our minds. They're supposed to put you in a position where you can start working on what's going on. They don't fix anything. You'll feel different because that's what they're supposed to do.

If you decide to go that route, journal or something and track your mood, feelings and thoughts. See if anything looks good or bad. Are you in control? If you see something bad stop taking them & call your doctor. S/he should work with you.

 

[MountainMonkey]

have you considered psilocybin therapy? I suffer from suicidal ideation from my PTDS symptoms. I recently purchased a grow bag. Psilocybin seems to be the only way I can kick my brain out of self-destruction mode.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

have you considered psilocybin therapy? I suffer from suicidal ideation from my PTDS symptoms. I recently purchased a grow bag. Psilocybin seems to be the only way I can kick my brain out of self-destruction mode.

I don't feel the need to take a psychedelic. I'm just miserable, depressed and want to isolate myself from existence but I still function despite my thoughts but thanks for the advice.

 

[Regen]

There are very, very big differences in medications. Some of them really didn't make me feel good and I felt foggy. But there were others where, paradoxically, it was the exact opposite. When I took it I finally felt like myself again and I could see where depression had clouded my perception. But when I didn't take the medication I couldn't believe it because I was convinced that my perception was correct. Totally crazy. But it really was like that, with the medication I was finally back to being the person I really am inside. And only then was I able to change things externally for myself. Once I managed to change things outside, I was able to stop taking the medication. For me, medication has changed my life for the better. But the difficult thing is finding ones that help without making you feel bad, wrong, foggy or anything else. There are big differences there.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What's causing your depression/depressive episodes? Do u have an idea why you are depressed? Are there (uncontrollable) triggers?

In my case Ik why I'm suicidal and what triggers it. As long as those specific situations are avoided I feel relatively good. I agree, meds cannot work if there are external triggers. I would avoid them in any case for myself.

Meds/therapy is a trial and error process. Depending on your personal situation you have to decide whether u wanna give them, a chance or not.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I wish there was a magic button to press or something.

For me it was switching focus from meeting my "needs" to helping others, and daily meditation. A gradual shift that took some time (results from meditation felt at about 1-2 months after 30 minutes daily), but definitely worth it! Feel free to PM if you want more details about what I did to recover.

 

[Regen]

For me it was switching focus from meeting my "needs" to helping others, and daily meditation. A gradual shift that took some time (results from meditation felt at about 1-2 months after 30 minutes daily), but definitely worth it! Feel free to PM if you want more details about what I did to recover.

Wow, results after 1-2 month? I should change my mediation praxis and should give much more focus and time on it...!! Thanks for sharing and helping me to remember.