DeathBecomesHim98
New Member
- Mar 3, 2024
- 2
For the first time in my life I was told that the reason I'm so depressed and want to kill myself is because I need more vitamin D.
Honestly, I've really never been told anything before about my depression or why it might be occurring but no one knew about it, I masked it pretty well. Now, my whole family knows about it and now it feels like it's being continually thrown in my face.
At the moment, I'm staying with my grandma just while I'm on this suicide watch and when she comes home the first thing she decides to say to me is: "it's too dark in here. Why is it so dark in here? You wouldn't be so depressed if you got more light" and I've never had anyone say that to me but it truly just made me cry.
While I'm sure there's some truth to that like I mean vitamin D is important but even when I used to run around outside more and felt like I could anything, I still was depressed on the inside. It makes me so mad, frustrated, and upset like now my whole family knows how fucking depressed I am I somehow have become the butt of the joke like it's so hilarious how easily I cry and how easily upset I get and how it feels like the world is solely against me.
Like just what the fuck dude like I just want to shout and ask like "are you dumb??" Like if only it was as simple as just going outside, if only it was as simple as smiling a bit more, like how do people just expect years and years of a traumatic childhood and an unfortunate life and an unfortunate family to just be magically healed by the power of the sun? Like people are just so fucking dumb.
Honestly, I've really never been told anything before about my depression or why it might be occurring but no one knew about it, I masked it pretty well. Now, my whole family knows about it and now it feels like it's being continually thrown in my face.
At the moment, I'm staying with my grandma just while I'm on this suicide watch and when she comes home the first thing she decides to say to me is: "it's too dark in here. Why is it so dark in here? You wouldn't be so depressed if you got more light" and I've never had anyone say that to me but it truly just made me cry.
While I'm sure there's some truth to that like I mean vitamin D is important but even when I used to run around outside more and felt like I could anything, I still was depressed on the inside. It makes me so mad, frustrated, and upset like now my whole family knows how fucking depressed I am I somehow have become the butt of the joke like it's so hilarious how easily I cry and how easily upset I get and how it feels like the world is solely against me.
Like just what the fuck dude like I just want to shout and ask like "are you dumb??" Like if only it was as simple as just going outside, if only it was as simple as smiling a bit more, like how do people just expect years and years of a traumatic childhood and an unfortunate life and an unfortunate family to just be magically healed by the power of the sun? Like people are just so fucking dumb.
