Help I need to CTB right now

[MoonDancer]

I need to die ASAP preferably within the week and Im kinda panicking right now which isn't helping but anything I can do or prepare to die at latest next week would be nice. I know I'm not supposed to rush but I don't care right now I need to be dead right now but I have nothing with me besides some razors but there's no way I'm killing myself with those I'm probably just going self harm for now to calm myself down but holy shit this is so fucking bad compared to feeling numb. I don't have much money and my jumping spot is too far to travel to without time, so links to other discussions that are cheap+effective, thanks

 

[exitplease]

Sorry this isn't a link to methods, but did something happen recently that's made you feel so desperate to die?

Inbox is open if you need. I'm sorry you're feeling so horrible.

 

[mia_qwerty]

I'm sorry you are in this. I also have soooo many moments like this too. But I plan to get ready for around xmas. I don't have any quick ways out. Here if you need to vent and need a listening ear.

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

What's going on? It sounds like you are feeling very agitated. It is generally not a good idea to make an attempt in such a system. Do you want to share some more about what's going on?

 

[MoonDancer]

What's going on? It sounds like you are feeling very agitated. It is generally not a good idea to make an attempt in such a system. Do you want to share some more about what's going on?

I was holding on, just for a little. Maybe, maybe, you know? I need to stop letting people in, having hope that someone will finally love me. I'm so desperate for some semblance of affection because I never had it growing up and probably never will until I CTB, I just want to feel loved in my final moments, but I am well and truly alone and it just hits so hard when the last person you thought you had leaves you and your illusion of feeling a bit better vanishes before your eyes and the progress you've been trying to make to make your life happier before you die just crumples. I just want to feel needed by someone in my life, have someone hug me and hold me and tell me it'll be okay but it's not okay but they're there for me and that's all that matters. I'm so lonely

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so cruel how there isn't the option to just easily leave this existence in peace, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for from all the suffering.