I need someone to tell me it will be ok

[thx1138]

I got diagnosed with two incurable conditions, schizophrenia and PCOS. The meds aren't helping and have too many side effects.

I've gone through severe childhood trauma and don't seem to be healing even though I'm almost 30.

I'm about to lose my job because of AI. My boss yelled at me last week and it triggered a psychotic episode.

Due to my mental illness, I have no friends. Not one.

I lost my grandma last month and it still hurts.

My father had a stroke yesterday, although he's only in his early fifties. He's paralyzed and can't walk. He lives in another country and there's nothing I can do.

I want to kill myself. I'm tired.

But I also don't want to make my mother sad.

How should I go on? What should I do?

 

[mekurin]

I'm truely sorry you have to suffer so much. I am not sure what I would do in your situation either, but if you want to just have someone to talk to you can pm me. I hope something works out for you, even if it's just finding peace. I pray for you, good luck OP

 

[Dangerdonkey333]

I know what it's like to have family far away that are not doing well. Tell them how much you love them, and what you are up to. It can do wonders to distract them from (and yourself) from the pain.
Have you brought up your side effects with your provider? I tried multiple different meds for my ADHD, autism, and BPD before I found what what worked well for me.
And I want you to know that I'll be your friend. And that everything will be okay.

 

[A_quietboi]

I'm not really of much help, but if you wish, I can mail you some chocolates (not kidding). (I'm not really good with words but chocolates fix most bad days).

 

[Dolphin55]

I'm so sorry. I can't tell you it will all be okay, because sometimes it isn't - and maybe that's okay too in the end. But what I can say is I've been in places that felt impossibly, indescribably dark, and when I was in them it felt like there was absolutely no way it could get better, zero chance this could ever be worth it. Maybe that's how you feel now. But despite all those feelings, somehow I survived those impossibly dark periods. Sometimes I even came through stronger for them. Don't give up and it can be alright again, I promise.

 

[thx1138]

Thank you everyone for responding, you are so kind. I appreciate it. I hope you all have a great day. I know I'll manage somehow.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im sorry you got these thing happen in your life. Its awful what you have to go though every day. But you are still here, and I am proud. Life can take wild turns, so try to make the best of it. And talk to a therapist if you havent already.
I wish you the best <3

 

[cryone]

hey there, im sorry for what you've gone through. still, I commend you for staying strong. you might not see yourself as doing that, but you've made this post looking for advice on living. sadly, I don't really know what you should do. If you don't mind me asking, what job do you have? Don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

[pleaseletmeperish]

I'm sorry, my friend. I really do hope things will look up for you; nobody deserves the suffering you're going through now. I hope things will get better as soon as possible; keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[thx1138]

This site has some of the kindest people I've seen. Thank you all so much. It means a lot to receive even one message, especially from someone who has struggled with similar things. Perhaps this is what makes y'all empathic and nice. I hope you are doing well.

I've calmed down a bit, partially because my boss said my job is safe for now - not sure how long - but whatever. I still have thoughts about catching the bus, but hey, that's just everyday life, am I right? :D Lol, things can always be worse and I'm trying to be grateful for what I do have.

Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity <3