I need someone to talk to

[marsupial]

Not a foe, but they don't need to be a friend. I like making people laugh. I like taking care of others. But I'm always treated like the Bad Guy. I hate being the Bad Guy. I don't mean anything bad, and I don't do bad, but maybe I'm too quiet or I have one of those "mean" faces. I hate my face. I wish it was open and inviting. I've been bullied thrice the past two days by peers I don't even know that well in normal conservations. Telling someone that they cut out over the phone and them going "Oh how convenient" like I was lying, when it was the truth. "I can't hear youu" and walking away as I'm speaking to them - shit like that. My boss not believing me at work because they "can't listen to he said she said" but immediately believing my coworker. Basically treating me like a liar. And more. I don't have anyone I can talk to, I'm lonely, I'm growing tired of people but mostly myself. Even if it could be bad luck, deep down I think incidents like this (and worse in the past) would only happen so often to me because its ME - I'm wrong, I'm bad, I shouldn't be alive. I resent the one person I could talk to in the past because they're a support person you go to at my school, and isn't there when I need them. I resent people with family, something I don't have. And people who have close supports, available people they can talk to. I'm getting pretty twisted. I wish I were gone.

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

You sound a bit like me, that's something I could have written myself. Hope you are ok.