Venting I need some comfort

[Naiffur]

I'm planning on trying to end things tomorrow, and assuming my survival instincts don't kick in I suspect I'll probably be successful. I'll admit my plan is a bit rushed, as I didn't intend to do this until after Christmas. I'm going to try and use Helium to go about it as it is the least painful method I have currently and quickly available to me...

I've emotionally gone through quite a few stages, initially this morning when I woke up and realized I was going to try and do it, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I wouldn't say I was happy, but I felt a sense of euphoria/relief.

That feeling of euphoria slowly drained throughout the day though, I started to feel a longing to connect with people... It would be cruel to let my friends know ahead of time though and I don't want to be guilted out of it.

But now I'm... Feeling anxious. My stomach aches lightly and my breathing feels shallow. I know this is what I want though, and I'm doing my best to remain composed against my emotions. I still. I just want to talk to people... So I guess that's the point of this.

I'm not looking to really be talked out of my decision, if I am ill just come back to it again and regret not having committed to acquiring the peace I know I want. But I would appreciate some comfort over the next while.

Tomorrow will be a difficult day, no matter what happens

 

[puella]

I'm not sure how much I can comfort you through the process, but I can give you company beforehand. Is there anything else you need?

 

[Naiffur]

I'm not sure how much I can comfort you through the process, but I can give you company beforehand. Is there anything else you need?

That's more then enough thank you, I'm a bit behind on getting things ready (cleaning). So I'm stressed about that. I don't plan on leaving any sort of note, I have nothing to say I think is worth saying. Went to work this morning, it's retail, but I'm excited to be able to interact with people today. I think the job will get my mind off things as well. I feel better again this morning, though I still feel the butterflies in my stomach

 

[puella]

I hope you have a good day. There's no rush for anything; take your time.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, I hope that you eventually find the peace you are searching for.

 

[Naiffur]

I wish you the best with your plans, I hope that you eventually find the peace you are searching for.

Me as well, thank you

 

[Mayonaise]

Hard to be of any comfort when I don't know your story, but will try. I have 2 things to say to you:

1) I know the "huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders"-thing. I've been feeling exactly the same when I realized that I had a final way out, that this situation could stop if I wanted to.
I decided not to rush things though. I want to be prepared and have the time to think things out, in other words I need to be at peace with my decision.
I didn't give up on therapy yet, even if I don't see how my issue can be fixed. I need time to say goodbye to my mortal life.
If I eventually decide to exit, then be it.
I'd suggest to try to take some more time to possibly find some peace of mind, even if you have decided to go. If you cannot find this peace, it's ok. I cannot put myself in your shoes.
You, and you alone, know the depth of your pain. Whatever you do, tons of people here including me will respect your decision and wish you nothing but peace and serenity.

2) You still sound quite emotional to me. The need for human interaction you experience is an indicator of that. The fact that you're here proves that you do have things to say.
Thus, I'd suggest to take some more time to think about leaving notes. People may miss you and won't have the chance to talk to you again or understand why you decided to go.
If there are people you care about, you might want to consider telling them you love them. It's your choice in the end, but please don't rush things.
Much love to you.