Minerva___
in need of some eternal sleep 🌙
- Jan 6, 2024
- 57
It's always been a nightmare. No one ever cared. It's been enough
I'm in my early 20's. I've been through at least 19 years of mental, physical, even economic abuse from a parent. 15 years of mental disorders, chronic loneliness, never really having anyone but my abusive parent, doing everything to make life easier for others while being left alone 99% of the times when I've been at rock bottom… when im suffering I have no one to turn to. I hate most humans but at the same time it fucking sucks to be alone and lonely so much that it makes me sick. I wish I got to spend more time with the very few people who I can still stand and haven't intentionally done me wrong. I love them a lot. I've endured so much abuse and terrible days that words cannot explain it. I never asked to be here. And I'm tired of having to find the small reasons to be here. I'm tired. Exhausted. I don't have anything left. I've lost my closest friend, my cat is sick, I ended up with no money, I don't even have the money to kill myself atm, I have no energy to do anything, I wish I could pass away in my sleep. There's no point. Most of my life has consisted of the following: psychological abuse, economic abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, poverty, deep loneliness, mental agony, going to the psychiatrist, being forced to take psychiatric medicine, counselling for victims of abuse, feeling like a burden, feeling so ugly that I want to kms and avoid going out because of it, dealing with cptsd, being walked over, left out, used, suicidal.
I find people way too shallow, ignorant and evil and I don't want to live in such a society.
I told myself I'd try to live up to 26 but I want to go much sooner than that.
I'm in my early 20's. I've been through at least 19 years of mental, physical, even economic abuse from a parent. 15 years of mental disorders, chronic loneliness, never really having anyone but my abusive parent, doing everything to make life easier for others while being left alone 99% of the times when I've been at rock bottom… when im suffering I have no one to turn to. I hate most humans but at the same time it fucking sucks to be alone and lonely so much that it makes me sick. I wish I got to spend more time with the very few people who I can still stand and haven't intentionally done me wrong. I love them a lot. I've endured so much abuse and terrible days that words cannot explain it. I never asked to be here. And I'm tired of having to find the small reasons to be here. I'm tired. Exhausted. I don't have anything left. I've lost my closest friend, my cat is sick, I ended up with no money, I don't even have the money to kill myself atm, I have no energy to do anything, I wish I could pass away in my sleep. There's no point. Most of my life has consisted of the following: psychological abuse, economic abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, poverty, deep loneliness, mental agony, going to the psychiatrist, being forced to take psychiatric medicine, counselling for victims of abuse, feeling like a burden, feeling so ugly that I want to kms and avoid going out because of it, dealing with cptsd, being walked over, left out, used, suicidal.
I find people way too shallow, ignorant and evil and I don't want to live in such a society.
I told myself I'd try to live up to 26 but I want to go much sooner than that.
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